To think 8/9 year olds shouldn’t be doing this

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Walking up a big hill with a busy road next to it (known to speeders) to go and meet their friends alone. All in year 4. Then playing on a field to play football. Walking back home mainly alone. 10 minutes walk to get home

I think year 4 is too young for this. Why are people saying they should have phones?? 8 is too young for a phone. I have a daughter in year 5 and she doesn't have a phone and neither do her friends. I wouldn't let her walk near a busy road for 10 mins to play in a field. I would let her go on her own a little but not really needed to yet, so not completely strict about it.

You say it's a busy road and you think that, in the extremely unlikely situation that a paedophile decides a busy main road is a good place to molest an 8 yo boy, no-one will notice as your son tries to fight him off? It's not really a realistic scenario is it?

I grew up in the 80s. Mobile phones hadn't been invented. Both parents worked and 8 year olds babysat themselves. We were out all day and our parents didn't have a clue where we were or how to find us. Jumping off the balconies of the flats onto filthy stained mattresses. Playing chicken on duel carriageways. Climbing on roofs and getting stuck. Danger? Danger didn't exist when we were kids. Always home before dark in time for dinner though. I honestly don't know how children of today would cope if they got dropped off in the 1980s for a day.

I find this a strange reply when I just shared that I was a child victim of molestation (sexual assault) as a child/ minor when out on my own. This was a stranger, not my parent. Stats are stats yes, but awful things do still happen that involve strangers.

Also dangerous dog attacks are becoming alarmingly common and lethal. For children and adults alike (Including have a friend who was attacked by one before Christmas)

@Mumtumtastic judging by your experience even teenagers shouldn't be out alone. I don't want my children to live like that "just incase" something happens to them.

I would say that 8 is too young for this, and it's definitely too young for a mobile phone, and I was brought up in the 60s/70s where this would have been completely normal. I would be more worried about speeding cars than anything else.

I’m sorry but yes it is sadly completely possible, but this is not how it would happen. I worked alongside the police for many years in my profession, and dealt with a lot schedule 1 offenders. Our team were informed of some of the police operations in the South East involving CSA rings. A paedophile would observe a vulnerable group and await an opportunity to intercept ie once the group split and were walking home individually. I wish I was less aware of these things but please do not underestimate the reality, there is a real measurable risk.

I think this is absolutely fine & should be encouraged too. My DD & her friends on the estate have been playing out on their own on the wood in the middle of our (granted, safe) estate since last summer. It does so much good for them. Tree swings, sledging, crossing the road (only a cul-de-sac but still!) all building independence and most importantly, getting them fresh air and OFF THE IPAD!!

My son is 9 (year 5) and has started walking home from school 3 times a week (his idea/choice). He loves the feeling of responsibility plus it's good exercise. He is very sensible though. I think children are capable of more than we think.

Everyone is shaped by their experience, if you had experience what I did you would feel the same.

Also professionally I have seen too much, worked with too many families destroyed by violent crime, seen the impact it has had on children. Sat in front of a convicted paedophile who was released after serving his sentence who showed no remorse and I believe, had every intention of reoffending and attacking another child. He threatened to attack me, and we were in a secure building with security guards right there, people like him are out there. The police and probation services are overwhelmed, they do not have the resources to monitor all those who are a known risk.

Also like I said the road situation and the near miss in my family is enough to give pause. Road accidents are way more common

I wouldn't be letting my kids out that young on their own anywhere, especially near a busy road!
I wasn't even allowed to go to the shop behind my house alone till I was 11, and walk home from school til probably Year 7 age (late 90s early 2000s) my parents were protective and I'm glad they were.Too many are too lenient in my opinion and lives are precious and danger is everywhere sadly.

So you teach them to stay safe. Don't split off from the group, keep an eye on your friends, stick to the busy roads and don't wander off down quiet side streets, don't engage with strangers and if someone asks you to get in their car, run and head for anywhere you can see people. Putting aside the fact that the majority of abductions and abduction attempts are estranged parents, the most common age for an abduction or attempted abduction is 13. Adults are abducted too. You cannot indefinitely keep your child at home to avoid a tiny risk. You have to teach them to stay safe and defend themselves.

Dc2 is in yr4 & she goes to the village park by herself. It’s a 10 min walk along the main Road which we live along. She sometimes meets a friend or goes with her sibling who’s in yr5. They also go the village shop alone. She’s been walking & crossing the road which at times is busy since she was a toddler and has been taught to cross, stranger danger etc. It’s good for them, gaining independence & confidence. Yes there’s risks but there everywhere. We agree a time for her to come home and so far she’s been fine.

Of course awful things can still happen but they are rare and children still need to start developing some independence despite some small risks.

You were 14 and walking home from school, should teenagers not be allowed to travel to/from school alone?

My DS turned 8 at Christmas time (he's year 3) and I would not be comfortable letting him do this just yet.

I think it sounds lovely. Far more scared of dd getting online than walking with friends!

I have an 8 year old too and there is no way I'd let her walk to and from school alone, very few of the my fellow year 4 parents do. Actually, the school don't release them after school unless a named adult is there to pick them up until year 5, at which point they will with permission. So I agree, too much freedom at this point....

I really hate that whenever this debate comes up people assume if you don't let your child out unsupervised they must be indoors on screens instead. It is possible for people to take thier own children out for walks through the woods at weekends and take children to hobby clubs etc... my child is not a hermit crab because I'm not ready to let him out on his own yet.

Iis great to do those things and teach safety but the reality is a criminal with intent is no match for a child. I think the whole stranger danger talk does make us feel safer though. But online grooming is more common than opportunistic attacks now (and was the police focus in my teams joint meetings with them)

I try to raise awareness on forum’s like this but certainly don’t live in fear. I accompany my kids (they are way too young to do anything independent anyway as my eldest is 6) and am not apologetic for being on the protective spectrum for them.

I feel like it won’t be long til the depressingly predictable pearl clutching label will be thrown my way, but hopefully sharing these experiences is helpful to some. I certainly never sought a career involving violent sexual offenders but it was a very small part of the role that sadly got bigger over time. I was followed back to my car once in the dark when I left the office late. There are some seriously messed up people out there

Of course many do, and I’m not saying it is wrong, just that there is a risk. It was terrifying being attacked by someone much stronger and I was well aware of the stranger danger stuff, but that knowledge did nothing to protect me (same as in cases of domestic abuse). If a parent or even older sibling had been with me it would have. I will always vote on the side of accompany children/ minors or with a trusted adult. I have no idea when we would allow DC going out solo but thankfully don’t need to worry about that for some time.

I wouldn’t allow it until probably year 6 and I don’t think I’m particularly overprotective. It is also the norm round me (very common in second half of year 6 for mums to be sitting in a cafe while their child and friend go shopping for an hour)

What do you mean before we knew about "stranger danger". ? I was 8 in 1979. We were taught then never to go anywhere with strangers etc.

I wasn't allowed to roam at 4 and 5 but by 8 I was catching the public bus to school and home and able to go to the library and park etc

I do get where you're coming from. Mine weren't allowed until the beginning of year 6 as that's when they got their first phones and started to walk home alone from school. I didn't feel they were mentally mature enough to understand some things. Perhaps some younger are but mine weren't. Also living in London I was more cautious, although things do happen anywhere and everywhere but it was a factor. It made it easier for me however that none of their friends were allowed before year 6 either so we didn't have the social aspect before then to consider.

How exactly have things changed? I hear this a lot on here but nobody seems to come up with FACTS on how things have changed

I wouldn’t let my child do that because she is too much of a daydreamer, but I imagine a lot of other children would be capable.