To think 8/9 year olds shouldn’t be doing this

[Pluggoo]

Walking up a big hill with a busy road next to it (known to speeders) to go and meet their friends alone. All in year 4. Then playing on a field to play football. Walking back home mainly alone. 10 minutes walk to get home

Unless you live in a particularly dangerous area, then it is fine, though I can understand your concern about the road with speeders. Do they actually have to cross the road though or is it just walking up the road to the field without crossing it?

How many children in this country do you think have been assaulted by unknown men in a random encounter outside?

A busy road and no crossings don’t sound good.
Could you drop and pick up at the football field.

What are the chances of a grown woman fighting off a man? Pretty slim, yet we don't say grown woman shouldn't walk up the road or go to the park.

My year 5 child doesn’t have a phone. He walks home from school alone but that’s v low risk. I wouldn’t assume these kids in the OP have a phone. Voted YABU though!

This is the kind of childhood all children should be having but our generation seems to be hyper danger aware! I've been described as giving my year 4 son a "90s childhood" because he's out playing in the fields behind the house and walks 10 minutes to the park across a main road (it has a pedestrian crossing). He also scooters to school by himself as it's only just under a mile away. No he doesn't have a phone but has a wristwatch and knows what time to be back. However all my friends with children his age see danger everywhere.
It results in quite a sedentary childhood with minimal risk taking and excessive screen time. Then suddenly they are at high school with loads of independence and few skills to deal with any problems or situations that occur.

Children need to be out playing and adventuring. This is the hill I'm willing to die on.

@Cakeandusername yes that’s a possibility.

Sorry I don’t understand, I mean an 8 year old child vs an adult

@Pluggoo I'm also incredibly wary of my son being out by himself (he's 10) and only allowed to either walk home from school or stop off at the park after school and then walk home (the park is only about 3 minutes from our house).
Like you, I've taught him all about road safety and what to do if he encounters a stranger or anyone who makes him feel uncomfortable, BUT I still worry like mad when he's out!
Tbf, I only let him start going to the park and walking home from school just before the summer holidays (end of year 5) but he was still 10 years old then... I wouldn't have done it at age 8/9, but he has ADHD and can be very impulsive and a bit gobby if he feels threatened (by other kids etc).

I think it depends on your child's maturity, the area you live and your own peace of mind as to whether you allow it at the age of 8/9. Follow your gut :-)

I think 8 is young end for this. There’s no harm saying you’ll rethink in a few months and walk up with him if he wants to play.
I’m very pro kids playing out. I’ve watched 2 little girls 7/8 ish rollerskating outside this afternoon but I know where they live so they are 2 mins from home and I’m on an estate where people keep an eye out. That’s very different to 10 mins away and a busy road with no crossing.

It sounds absolutely fine to me.

I drove home from work earlier today and saw several groups of kids around that age wandering around - some near the park, some outside Tesco and some just wandering with their friends and chatting.

This was really normal in the 80s before we knew about stranger danger. When I was 5 I was allowed to roam around with my 4 year old friend and come back in time for lunch and that was on the outskirts of a big city. It was only when I was 8 that there were abductions in the news and suddenly nobody was allowed to go anywhere at all.

I don't know what the right answer is really.

Sounds ok to me if they have been taught how to walk on the side of a road.

Very few paedophiles are going to try and take an unwilling child on a busy street in broad daylight. If he knows not to go off with anyone without telling you first even if he knows them he should be fine on that front. He’s probably more at risk in the home than from that.

Does he need to cross the road? Are there some smaller things he could do alone first?

My eldest is 10 this year and I wouldn't let him do that but I don't think he's mature enough.

At the minute he's allowed to play in the park right next to my house and I check on him frequently.

Soon I will let him meet me outside of the school gates and we will walk home together.

Some of the girls in his year (year 5) walk to school and back alone which is about a mile. They seem a lot more mature and capable whereas I can't trust him to cross a road sensibly and it's not for want of trying.

Maybe start smaller and build your way up?

Don't. be over protective. This sounds OK when there are other children there. But he needs to be made aware of stranger danger

Perfectly normal.

I live in germany and this is completely normal here. Kids learn the way to school in the first semester of preschool and walk by themselves or with friends after. They meet up outside after school. My kids have been walking to school on their own from the age of 4 (after walking 6months with me first). And they have been playing outside alone from 6ish onwards. They have a gps watch to call for emergencies.

I guess it depends on the area you live in. Kids can definitely learn road safety at the age of 8/9 if theres no special needs.

I was walking a mile home from school on my own at 8. Also out after dark with friends on the estate. Had a watch and knew what time I had to be home.

I'm really not convinced that it's that much more dangerous now. Agree that fast/busy traffic is a potential hazard but it can be mitigated with training, instruction about safe crossing places etc.

My big worry would be that they mess about with the football and follow it into the road. I always made DS take the ball in a carrier bag.

As he got older and argued that "he would never" chase the ball into the road, I explained that drivers might think that something would happen if they see kids with a ball, and it is better to not distract them.

not to distract them

He’s your son at the end of the day and it’s up to you not to let him if you don’t think he’s mature enough or doesn’t have road awareness etc. Maybe these other children are a bit more responsible for their age. I think this is the age kids start to get a little more freedom though. I don’t think I’d want my child left out or for his peers to think he’s babied. They need to learn how to risk assess themselves too. If you don’t want him to walk there then why not gradually allow it - a lift to the field and back to start with.

I would highly recommend reading the book ‘the anxious generation’. I used to be really protective of my kid, since reading that book I realised how damaging that was. Encouraging kids to be independent in a safe way will set them up wonderfully for life

I wouldn't feel comfortable with it. There are too many weirdos around these days.

If you've taught him not to jump out in front of cars I'm not sure what the other dangers are. Do you live in rural India, are there likely to be tigers?

I think a group of children walking together on a busy road would be pretty safe, provided they know to shout and make a scene if they are approached so that other adults come to their help (and many would), and they are careful with traffic.
Complete safety can never be guaranteed of course, and that's hard to live with.