To think 8/9 year olds shouldn’t be doing this

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Walking up a big hill with a busy road next to it (known to speeders) to go and meet their friends alone. All in year 4. Then playing on a field to play football. Walking back home mainly alone. 10 minutes walk to get home

Organised clubs aren't generally every day, for several hours, and working parents generally don't have time to go to the park for hours every day (I don't have time to go at out at all during the week, but I can send DS outside to play while I cook dinner or let him walk to his friend's house to play with his friend), but if you let children out to play they can easily spend hours being active playing every day.

Jest all you want but there are studies on this.
And I always know its summer when I start seeing the children on my street gathering, then heading off somewhere on their bikes, perhaps with their fishing rods to go fish at the lake, or with footballs, heading to the football pitch for a kickabout. Kids somewhere between 8 and 10 years old, judging by the look of them.

Well, it’s January… so they either are not playing for “hours” after school at the park OR they are playing out in the dark. Organised clubs don’t need to be every day but they do play their part and they are also on all year, come rain or darkness. We have lots of options around here and the clubs are in big sports halls so lots safer. Apart from that, walking ten minutes up the road to collect your child after “hours” playing free with friends doesn’t sound like a big stress. I’m sure you can do that around cooking dinner. Personally I would prioritise safely walking my child home over labouring over a dinner that takes ages to cook. Priorities.

I really think it comes down to your own child, what sort of road and what sort of park. Parks in major cities with a drunk man on a bench and 10 vaping teenagers all over the swings is a very different prospect to some of the things described here. Village and country life does seem to encourage kids to roam around but there are other considerations if the other people in the actual park are the concern.

if my son walked to the park 10 minutes down the road and something happened he wouldn’t have any option but to walk the 10 minutes home - it’s not the lovely setup some people are describing of the village shop phoning me or lovely neighbours looking out for the kids. He’d be on his own. So that’s a different situation altogether.

My kids are super active and outdoorsy with lots of clubs, lots of hillwalking, lots of time at the beach, camping (with my husband, I hate camping!) and plenty of time with friends. They aren’t missing out on anything by not being allowed to roam around a city in the dark as a small child (we are in Scotland so right now it’s dark not long after school lets out).

Children play out after dark where I live, the dark is not a limit here (couldn't be, daylight hours are too short. They have to walk to school in the dark for a good chunk of winter)

Not every area has good options for sports clubs and not all families can afford them even if there are. Playing out is free and has benefits far beyond exercise, which is not the same for organised activities (they have their own benefits of course, but they are different)

People have always, and will always, parent in their own way. I just don’t have any common ground on this topic with someone who considers it acceptable for 8 year olds to play out on parks after dark.

In the northern part of my country it's dark for weeks on end, of course children will play in the park when it's dark. You can't exactly say "I trust you to go to the park at 2pm on a Saturday in June but not 2pm on a Saturday in December", that would be ridiculous.

We live in london, actually in a nicr pocket of london but in the last year 2 kids have been killed by getting stabbed on buses, multiple stabbings in parks on streets near us. Our park is full of broken glass every morning, kids getting their bikes nicked, my nephew has his face pucnhed in for looking at someone on a bus a few weeks ago. He went to the high street and got his phone robbed. Every week some kid gets their jacket robbed from them. Sorry, but if you think your kids are ok just walking about in this day and age you are very much mistaken. Just yesterday there was another jacket robbing posted on the chat, boys jumped the kid and punched him down to the ground. There was another post about some young year 7 boys robbing some girls in the park for their bags and phones this week while they were all in their school uniforms. I am very sad that my child can't roam alone but I would rather be dropping them places than them ending up another victim.

But we can’t wrap them in cotton wool forever at some point they are going to have to go out into the world and it should be a gradual process of following their lead and what they feel comfortable with.

and then they will feel capable of making their own decisions - for example DD asked permission to go to Reading Festical this summer after her GCSEs - I felt it was too much but I also knew saying no would immediately push her into it. We talked it through she did some research and decided against it

8 year olds stabbed on the bus? Surprised that didn't make national news

I find it odd that people fret about "busy roads" - they often seem to be talking about inner city roads with steadyish traffic 20-35mph and lots of crossings.

It's quieter roads with occasional faster traffic and poor visibility that I'd really worry about a lapse of judgement.

You’re not in the UK are you Natsku?

Statically, boys are far less likely to be abducted by a stranger. So, you have that going for you.

The two children stabbed to death on a bus in two separate incidents in broad daylight on bus routes that go into my town were 14 and 15. I don't think the fact that they were not 8 is any less reason not to allow my children to get on the buses alone. Both incidents did make national news. Kids are carrying machettis here daily. Thereare around 15 thousand knife offences each year in london alone.

@ItsProperlyColdOut

This was really normal in the 80s before we knew about stranger danger.

We knew about it in the 60s. Did we forget for a bit?

And, even knowing, nine-year-olds went ten minutes up the road to the park.

You are probably aware that you will never stop worrying about your child. It might be hard to imagine now, while your LO is under 10, that you will have similar anxiety when they are 16, 18 etc. When you get there, the fears you have then will be just as real and relevant as the ones you have now. A lot of people are saying that allowing your son this independence is appropriate at his age. None of us have exactly the information you have to risk asses the exact situation but in principle I would agree that this is an appropriate age to allow your son this independence. When I first allowed my eldest this kind of independence I helped us both by doing it gradually. Others have mentioned some of the stuff you should do to prepare your child. You've got road safety and stranger danger addressed. Can your child use his watch appropriately and return home on time? Would he know what to do if he got to the playing field and none of his friends were there? Can you start this new phase by walking some of the way with him at first? Making his playing out time fairly short and knowing what time to be home (and fulfilling it). You can grow his confidence and yours at the same time. But also do try to let him know that you are confident in his ability to make a success of this. That will build his trust in you, as well, and will increase the chances of taking a responsible attitude to his new independence. Of course we all have a duty to take steps to protect our children but we also have to take measured and appropriate risks to allow them to mature and gain skills.

This sounds brilliant and I would absolutely encourage it

In the city I live in there are some adventure playgrounds that operate "open access" for children aged 8 or older, meaning they are free to attend by themselves. Not all do, as younger children can attend with adult supervision so sometimes it's sibling groups who will have a parent with them, and other times parents still want to supervise. But some 8yo children will get themselves to the playground, that is considered a reasonable cut-off for when staff insist on a responsible adult accompanying them.

No I'm not. Where I am its very normal for children to go to the park or walk places by themselves from 7 or so, and, once I got used to it (as from England originally, so quite the culture shock), I realised children can do things like this just fine, and they enjoy it. This evening, when it was already full dark, my DS's 6 year old friend walked round from the next road by himself. No pavements either, walked on the road, with a torch and reflectors to be visible to cars, and came round to play without any issues.

And most of them involve young adult victims, so exactly what age are you going to let your child out? 25?

How is it beneficial to a child's safety to stop them getting on a bus at 14, just in case they get stabbed, and then at 18 they can do what they like and will have no experience whatsoever of public transport?

Well by 18 they can drive themselves places. Personally, I try to avoid all public transport as an adult. I have no idea why you would deliberately put your child in an environment where unstable people are out to cause trouble. My feiend was raped on a train coming home from school when we were ten, I have also been sexually assualted on the tube. My nephew was punched in the face on a bus recently. Maybe becuase of my personal experiences I have certain views, but my childten eon't be going to the park alone and certainly not getting buses alone. When they are a bit older and young adults I won't be able to stop them but they will know the dangers and how best to avoid them.

And this is why we have 16 yos unable to catch a bus by themselves because they are too anxious.

Do we? I definitely don't have anxious children, if I said it was OK, they would be happy to hitchhike all the way to Hong Kong and they would most likely be fine to navigate that journey. But I just don't trust that there would be no one that would want to do them harm on the way. Ehen they are adults, hopefully I would have taught them enough to deal with situations that come up. I don't see how getting a bus or walking around in the dark actually delivers any practical help with that.

Totally irrelevant then. Nothing to do with an 8 year old going to the park. I don't know if any 14/5 that has to be accompanied everywhere and thousands of secondary school kids get on buses every day to go to school

I also said that kids of this age should be allowed to play out with friends, but certainly not walking alone on roads where speeding traffic is zooming past.
There are also school sports and clubs, many places and times where young kids can have fun and exercise.