To think 8/9 year olds shouldn’t be doing this

[Pluggoo]

Walking up a big hill with a busy road next to it (known to speeders) to go and meet their friends alone. All in year 4. Then playing on a field to play football. Walking back home mainly alone. 10 minutes walk to get home

Yeah it was awful. Child was at brownies with my DD

Bloody hell, did the driver go down?

I live in Edinburgh and said I wouldn't do this - maybe it is different outside of the cities but I still don't think the park is a safe place for my child to be hanging out alone. We are actually moving towards my son walking himself the mile or so to school on his own next year, and walking on his own to more friends' houses and such, but the actual park is the issue for me here.

We wouldn't let our son do this, it was exactly the same, a busy hill, main road and speeders. No way for us. Depends where you live though, the road near us was very busy and the park known for hosting teenagers enjoying themselves a bit too much. I also found a 6 inch knife in a bush in the park there too. So it was a no from us.

Yeah. Drug needles found at one of our local parks, not far from the swings, depressing. I’m wary of dogs off lead too since a relative and a friend were attacked (seperate incidents in different locations).

In just the normal run of it the teenagers can get quite rowdy/ verbal in this park when they congregate and the main road is fast and busy. There’s been multiple fatalities on it in the last few years, always bunches of flowers tied to the trees on different stretches of the road and some were tragically young people (it’s a known hotspot for collisions/ RTA’s)

We go there regularly and still have fun, but go together as a family

The park that is!

OP I wouldn't worry about road safety - you could do the route with him a few times if you're not sure you trust him. Let him take the lead and prove to you that he knows where and how to cross the road safely and how to walk nicely up the pavement etc.

Stranger danger - if there are particular groups of people that you know hang around there that you are worried about, then fair enough. Not all areas are safe. But you'll have to let him out to things when he's 11 and tbh he probably wont be able to fight off rowdy teenagers then either. At least at 8 he won't have a phone to be mugged for! At some point you'll have to let go. Maybe get him to some martial arts lessons so he learns to project confidence and also teach him to hand everything he has over and get away if anyone tries to take anything from him. It's hard to let go but better to start doing it now in small increments rather than having a hard shock at some point!

The statement is factual. Predators aren't hiding around every corner waiting to attack a child, it is rare.

Saying it is rare and unlikely to happen doesn't mean that it never happens or that it isn't devastating and traumatising when it does happen.

I couldn't be more clear in what I'm saying.

OK, but I've just seen so many comments about screen time and my point was that children who don't play out aren't necessarily indoors on screens. They might be at football club or ballet/swimming lessons with other kids. I am planning on getting my child a phone in probably year 6 and getting the bus to secondary school by himself in year 7 and we'll go from that sort of age.

I will never forget those poor boys who fell through an icy lake a couple of years ago. The youngest was only 6. No peadophiles or cars involved but something the parents probably never could have imagined.

Occasional trips to the park and sports events with families does not compare with the increased activity levels of children who are allowed to roam independently.

Its great that you are out constantly with your children but studies have shown that children who are allowed to roam independently are more active than those who aren't. And that's not to mention the mental and social benefits of independent mobility that will also positively affect children's health, decreasing the risks of obesity and other health issues.

Parents refusing to give their children independence is the reason I was still having to walk my almost 12 year old to school. There was only one junction to cross but at school run time there were cars parked right on the corner and it was difficult to see the traffic. One mum used to drive to the school from the next street over (and she wasn't then driving to work, she didn't work).
I was travelling 20 minutes by train to school when I was 9 and it saddens me that I was unable to give my DDs even part of that independence until they were much older because of traffic.

Absolutely agree. I have a just turned 9 year old and I wouldn't allow this. Year 6 is when i started allowing my daughter this sort of freedom and she's absolutely fine and very independent now. Year 4 is too young. My DS9 is sensible and mature but way too prone to distraction and thats ok, he will be safer in a year or two

@NovemberMorn

Certainly agree to disagree, I call it parental neglect, you obviously see it differently.

Only on Mumsnet would posters think an 8 year old walking ten minutes from their house with friends to play football is neglect 🙄

It minimises actual neglect.

Yeah you kind of ignoring what I’m saying about the much higher prevalence of road accidents involving pedestrians though. Plenty of stats on this and let’s be honest most kids won’t be paying too much attention to the road and crossings, especially if they’re out with friends. And there are still drivers who ignore traffic rules anyway and run people/ kids over. Dog attacks are becoming more common too, these are relevant factors to consider, it’s not just about dangerous individuals which I agree is not a high prevalence issue (but devastating for the families it does involve)

I was 8/9 walking to and from school it was a long road aswell that was early 80's there was always 2 or 3 of us as we all lived close by.
I understand your anxiety over this I have two sons who are now young men, all kids are different ypu know your own child best.
Trust me there are so many different stages after this as they carry on growing into teenagers , I think 10 is a good age to allow this sort of freedom but as said earlier you know him the best.

Perfectly reasonable. You should read, “The Anxious Generation.” Over protective parenting is not good for kids and it’s better for them to be outside playing independently than glued to a screen in their bedroom.

Totally, there are environmental factors to consider too. Kids just aren’t as equipped to assess risk because they’re kids. They see an icy lake and think fun. The same reason why there was a big gov campaign years ago to deter kids from playing on train tracks.

Those stats are definitely higher. I still don't see it as a reason why an 8 year old can't walk 10 minutes up the road though, because it can also happen at 10, 12 or 16 and even happens to adults. Accidents are accidents and can't be avoided 100% of the time.

You teach your child road safety and they learn by practicing.

When I was 8 years old I had a job and two kids

Nah there’s loads of forms of neglect.

pretty tragic it’s so commonplace we’ve prob become desensitised to it as a society

A parent allowing something you wouldn't allow yourself doesn't automatically make it neglect.

@Mumtumtastic

Nah there’s loads of forms of neglect.

An 8 year old walking ten minutes from home to play football isn't one of them.

If my nephew had been practicing his road safety that day he would be dead. It was only an adult with him - an adult - that had sharper awareness and quicker reflexes that saved his life. DN did nothing wrong, crossed when he should have with the green man.

Perhaps I am crazy to think this matters? DN would surely be praised on MN had he been out alone for being such an independent and developmentally well adjusted corpse.

I don’t understand why protective practices (like accompanying children outdoors) or parenting styles are so despised here.