To think 8/9 year olds shouldn’t be doing this

[Pluggoo]

Walking up a big hill with a busy road next to it (known to speeders) to go and meet their friends alone. All in year 4. Then playing on a field to play football. Walking back home mainly alone. 10 minutes walk to get home

To me having been that age in the 80s that sounds perfectly normal and a great way to spend the afternoon.

What is the issue? In the modern world if anything goes wrong they have phones, they aren't sat inside on screens.

Children are a lot more resilient, knowledgeable and resourceful than we give them credit for. Teach them how to do things safely, and what to do in the event of an emergency, and they are fine. You don't have to wrap them up in cotton wool to keep them safe.

They just seem so young. Surely they aren’t old enough to know the danger signs?

Thought it would be social media or phone related.

please allow your kids out of the house to have fun this is really good for them

If they cant figure danger signs by that age then the parenting is wrong. A child alone no a child with siblings or friends with them then yes

Seems fine to me. We did that (and were even allowed to go further afield into town on a Saturday) back when I was that age in the mid-90s.

We all knew how to cross the roads safely and not to talk to strangers, etc.

This is my DS. I do want him to socialise with friends rather than be stuck inside but to me he just seems so young. I can’t imagine letting him leave the house alone, walking 10 minutes up a busy road. The football on the field is fine but then also walking back home. I’d like to think he understands the dangers on the road but I’m also worried about strange danger

This is what parenting means. Teaching them about dangers and how to recognise them. It's more than old enough. Not teaching them these things is when they get into trouble. You do them no favours mollycoddling and wrapping them in cotton wool.

Have you taught him everything? Say no, his route home, his address, phone numbers?

Then this will be so great for him and build his confidence and your trust in him.

Maybe some deep breaths and focus on how well you've raised him that he has friends, wants to play and do this.

I get that but stranger abductions and assaults really are vanishingly rare and you can teach kids to be mindful of the dangers. We also have phones these days.

at the end of the day, you’re the only one who will be able to assess his readiness for it though.

I get what you’re saying but he only turned 8 in august it really does seem too young. Maybe I’m too over protective and focus on too much on the news. Knife crime etc. really scares me

This is one of those threads where MN goes against the grain. 8/9 is too young for this imo. My daughter is 8 in year 3 and there is just no way. Year 6 yes, sure, but not year 4. My niece is year 4 and I'm certain my SIL wouldn't let her do this. My friend has a DS in year 4 and she wouldn't either. And no, most year 4s do not have phones. Go with your instincts OP. If you're doubting it, it's because you know he's not ready.

‘Stranger Danger’ is massively overhyped. Children are less at risk than they were a generation ago thanks to better awareness of safeguarding.

And of course the people who are an actual risk to children are friends and family.

At 8 he should understand road safety to the point of using the pavement near a busy road.

Do you live in an area with lots of knife crime? It’s vanishingly rare where I am and usually between adults, not kids.

What I mean is are you assessing clear and present dangers that are likely to affect your son, or are you worrying about things in the media which are unlikely to affect your son or are your fears more solid?

I do think he’d be sensible near roads. I have taught him enough. I’m just scared about other people I suppose. Maybe I need help with my anxiety

Dangers of what? Walking along a pavement... Playing in a field....?

How many 8 year olds have been stabbed/a victim of knife crime in your area?

All of it I guess. Risk of getting run over although I’d like to think I’ve taught him road dangers. Speaking to strangers, he knows the danger. I really don’t know! It’s hard

Everyone is different but I wouldn't have been comfortable with this when my DS was that age. Might depend where you live though. I'm in a big urban town and no other kids were doing that at that age. In my friend's lovely village up North, they probably were.

Think back to what you were capable of at that age and what you were able to cope with. Your dc, assuming no send, will be capable of similar.

I was walking to and from school across town, 10-15 minutes away, crossing one very busy main road and several other smaller ones at that age with no major problems. We all walked together and, despite the dicking about, looked after each other and knew how to get help if it was ever needed.

How do they cross the road? Is there a crossing or lights.
Children that age do play out in park near me but it’s an estate.
If you aren’t comfortable he’s safe say no.

We live just outside of Manchester

No lights or crossings. Just a lot of chavs who think they’re hard

It’s tricky if he’s young in year.
Is there a compromise that’s not so obvious eg you walk up same time as you are going to the shops etc.

I also think about peadophiles. I know the chance of him coming across one on a 10 minute walk is rare. But you never know. I have taught him about them but what are the chances of an 8 year old being able to fight off a grown man (or woman)