To think 8/9 year olds shouldn’t be doing this

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Walking up a big hill with a busy road next to it (known to speeders) to go and meet their friends alone. All in year 4. Then playing on a field to play football. Walking back home mainly alone. 10 minutes walk to get home

The obvious answer is that you walk him up there OP, leave him to play footy for a bit and then go back and get him at a set time. Give him a watch so he knows when you'll be back. Everyone says he must have a phone - but he's 8! So I'd really hope he doesn't.

Your son isn't going to be safe from stranger danger til his teens - at which point he'll be at risk from all sorts of equally nasty things. Are you going to keep him home with you forever?

I won't pretend there's no risk - there is a risk. But preventing him from learning these basic skills at an appropriate age just stores up problems for later on.

Love, love, love mad Scotland (my relatives live in Darnley). I was visiting them around Halloween time. Went to Silverburn where in Tesco a group of young boys were buying 4 boxes of own brand eggs. I said to the checkout lady - 'why are you selling them these? You know they will be pelting windows?' 'Aye', she said, 'boys will be boys' and sold them the eggs!!!!!!

Scotland isn't getting the same levels of unvetted illegal immigrants. My friends and I were recently leered at and approached on a night out by a group of men loitering with intent close to the hotel they are being put up in. It was frightening. I dread to think what might have happened had it been a solo woman.

My sister was followed and harassed on the street in broad daylight, a group of builders had to intervene to make this pest go away. This country is simply not as safe as it was.

Finee if there's a group of them.

I'd allow it at that age, especially with friends.

You don't know that a parent didn't walk them up there and will go back to walk them home.

I won’t let my 8yr old walk 10 minutes away, she’s allowed round to the next street to call on a friend and in Spring we’ll let her walk across a couple of roads to the park, that’s it for now. We’re in a village.
School is a 10 minute walk away, she can do that from September when in Y5 if we think she’ll be sensible.
Same as yours OP she turned 8 in August.

I have children around this age, I’m a pretty relaxed parent, live in a safe area and I wouldn’t allow this at 8 in year 4.

In year 4 no children walk to/from school alone where we are (this begins from year 5) and whilst they’re often allowed to play out in the streets in front of houses or playgrounds on an estate, you don’t see kids this age walking to the shop or along a main road by themselves.

My eldest is 9, nearly 10 and she would be allowed to do this but if she was with a friend I would definitely check with the other parent - they’re by no means all allowed to do it at this age.

As a kid I did this, and in other countries this happens. We need to let kids be kids and explore, experience some age appropriate risk, and learn some independence. We're breeding a huge anxiety problem, not to mention a lack of life skills.

I realise it was a different age, but when I was eight I had been going to school by bus (public bus service, not dedicated school bus), for three years, sometimes in a small group of friends, but increasingly on my own. I knew enough about the town bus services to improvise alternative routes if I missed my usual bus. When I was ten, my father's work took us to a small European capital city for a year, and I spent two terms riding my bike to school (on the right hand side of the road) armed with just a limited knowledge of the local language, a pocket dictionary and a hand-drawn map. No mobile phones or internet in those days. I survived, and the experience informed our freedom policy for our own children in due course.

Hmm l am quite relaxed but 8 is quite young. I find too that kids seem to ignore danger when in a group - saw my own daughter and her friend cross a road without looking once - too busy on their phones ans not concentrating. Can you build it up gradually op so you maybe just let him walk one way?

Also there were bad things that were far more common in the 80s - let’s not pretend it was a utopia. I knew many children hit by cars when I was at school (inc me!) but have never heard of any of my children’s friends etc having the same.
Ambulances used to be regularly called to my school because kids had split their head/ chin open or broken a bone.

thanks to health and safety and as PP said, safeguarding, our children are much safer now. Us not Taking the risks our parents did is a part of that. Society has changed, as you’d expect in 40 years 😆

Think the replies are a bit blasé on here op. My dd is that age and no way. Yes, she has awareness, stranger danger teaching etc but even I’ve had bad encounters with strangers and had to use my wits to get out of them. They just aren’t going to be as resourceful as it takes experience.
Also, why take the risk? you never hear kids getting taken with an adult, always when with other kids or alone.
I wonder if people do it for a quiet life? Kids don’t need to be rushed along to be grown ups and deal with the unpredictables out there. There’s plenty of time when they’re older when they can be street wise and learn all that.

My daughter is 8 and I wouldn't allow this when I live now. I would in the place I grew up.

and this ! Many of my friends who stayed out got hit by cars or had some kind of hospital emergency. I forgot about that. Yet they continued to stay out after that. Lazy parenting..
sorry wasn’t actually agreeing with your post just the accident rate being a street kid, not sure it has vastly improved but wouldn’t know

A group of 9 year olds walking on the pavement as a group is fine.

I was walking a mile each way to school at that age, on the pavement with a busy road alongside. As did many children at my school. I was taught about stranger danger. Kids need to be exposed to danger (in a controlled way) to learn to keep themselves safe.

Parents have become far too protective about this but are happy to allow their kids unlimited screen time (often) and all sorts of other things that are not sensible.

If he was walking up there with mates that's different but by himself at 8 walking 10 mins down the road alone feels young to me.

My son was 9 almost 10 before I let him out by himself and I still prefer him walking with friends, especially when it's dark. The drivers round here are crazy which doesn't help.

Because the benefits of socialising, fresh air, exercise, gaining independence etc outweigh the tiny, tiny risk of a stranger kidnapping them.

They won't suddenly wake up one day at 13 and be street smart if they aren't allowed smaller freedoms from a younger age.

Totally agree!

also I grew up in a city where one of the much discussed grooming gangs was operating and I know girls who were victims of them

they were always the girls who were given the freedom to roam the streets unchecked.

playing football at 9 great but what freedom would you give a 9 year old who doesn’t play football? The freedom to wander around?

I don’t think people are actually worried that their children will get kidnapped. It’s a bit more nuanced than this one threat of kidnap 😂

You need to face facts.

Most murders of children are by people they know.

Very few children each year are abducted- how many can you think of off the top of your head?

The biggest risk to your son will be when he is in his teens and a young man- this is when boys get into fights and are at risk.

There’s a big difference between 8 and 13 though.
I’m very pro independence/playing out but 8 is young for scenario.
Op isn’t babying him if she says I’ll drop you off or let’s see in a few months.
Lots of parents wouldn’t let this happen until 10 or older.

OP mentioned stranger danger, as did pp.

My younger son is this age (8 - Y4) and, whilst he’s definitely capable of crossing roads safely etc etc (he’s more capable than his 11 year old brother), he’s not very big (average size but August birthday) and I still think he’s kidknappable-size. His older brother is my height and honestly you’d struggle to get him in a car or van, but my little one… I won’t be allowing him out alone until he’s bigger mainly for this reason!