To think 8/9 year olds shouldn’t be doing this

[Pluggoo]

Walking up a big hill with a busy road next to it (known to speeders) to go and meet their friends alone. All in year 4. Then playing on a field to play football. Walking back home mainly alone. 10 minutes walk to get home

We all did it at that age (and had no phones to contact parents).
They don't even have to cross the road.

Don't treat him like a baby, OP - it's great that he wants to get put to p.aybwith his mates, and get some exercise. To be encouraged!

Predators of a different nature.

Knife crime etc. really scares me

How many 8 year olds are being attacked by knife-wielding strangers in the street?

He's probably more safe at this age than he will be in his teens (not that I want to give you ideas).

My children are older now but I would have encouraged them to do this sort of thing. Does he have to cross this busy road? As 8 year olds can cross roads alone but aren’t good at judging speed, they should cross at a pedestrian crossing or when there are no cars at all. If he only has to walk up the hill and not cross the road that seems fine, if you are worried you could watch him for a while. Or you give him a phone and say he must text you when he gets there. Or you could walk behind him at a distance to see how he gets on. You may find that once he is allowed to do this, he might decide he’s not that keen anyway, and not want to do it often after all.
At that age I always had a specific time to be home by and if they didn’t come back I would go looking.

Stranger danger is worse on the internet than walking down a road. Seriously.

Our primary school allows children to walk home alone from year 5 so I wouldn't allow it before then. Many of the schools around here don't allow walking home alone until year 6. It's not a rough town.

I know the risks are tiny but I wouldn't be comfortable with it. None of my peer group would be either. Also 8 is too young to have a phone IMO.

Having seen a teenager decide to risk it at a crossing as the light went green for cars and promptly get hit by a speeder and sent flying across the road, requiring CPR and an air lift (turns out she pulled through). It'd be a no from me and she was much older than 8.

Children's eyes aren't developed properly to judge speed until much later than we think.

You can agree to let him play out but you don't have to agree to that particular location if you don't think it's safe. We are not lemmings and can risk assess for ourselves.

There is a reason we used to have to sit through those Grain Silo and Walking on the train track public safety videos and that is because children, particularly children in a group edging each other on make stupid decisions.

That would be too young for me, only on mumsnet do I see this. In real life, I have never seen 8 year olds wandering around alone. Mine is year 6 and has been walking to the park at the back of our house since about the end of year 5.

I live next to the park/football pitch. Some kids come on own but some are dropped off picked up.
Another thing to think about is the older kids/ teens there.
I know there have been instances of older ones taking balls off younger ones, kids ganging up on one kid. Plus vaping, language, those silver gas canisters - I’m in a nice area fwiw!)

With respect statistically he's more likely to be preyed upon by a teacher, coach or family member than The Child Snatcher sneaking up on him in the street and shoving him in a bag. So if she stops him going out to play with his pals in order to avoid potential predators she must also never let him go to school, sports or out of her sight ever.

completely normal where I live in Scotland

my children were allowed out to play and to walk to and from school at that age and younger

(but English MN seems to have a different culture)

i wouldn’t let this happen. My year 6 (11 year old) I would but definitely not my year 4. Would wait until around 10 at least. Even then it’s child dependent. My second has ADHD so will see how we manage this as less able to manage safety.

Inhave a 9 year old. I wouldn't let him do this. He has autism so maybe why but regardless of how many look before crossing...they never do! I've also seen bad driving like mounting a kerb overtaking someone turning in...nah. Id rather wait until he is more mature. I had lots of near misses as a child when I walked to school alone at his age but I guess my mum wasn't there to see so had no.idea!

I consider myself to be a very cautious parent but I think you are being ott.

Assuming during daylight I would be ok with that if they're all sensible kids

It is such an eye opening book, isn’t it!

I do get this fear, but at what point will that stop? I’m in my 20’s but accept that actually if I end up in the tracks of a grown man who wants to hurt or kidnap me there’s really nothing I could do to protect myself short of shouting for help and hoping somebody hears me and comes to help. That doesn’t stop me from living my life, if it did I’d never be able to leave the house. If he’s walking with friends then I think that’s really all the safety you could hope for.

The issue in this scenario is the 'mainly alone' detail and I still think 8 is far too young to be out and about. School is a necessity, there are lots of people around, presumably she is taking him there and collecting him? Or he will be walking home with many other children around who are also leaving school.
Again, sports are usually something a parent takes their child to and there are other people around.
Sex crimes are increasing.

My parents wouldn't have had a second's worries when I was that age in the 1960s but it was a very different world and I wouldn't consider letting an 8 or 9 year old disappear on their own to meet friends in a field.

I don’t let my 9yo do this.

i am not worried about stranger danger abduction. However as a free child of the 80s I dealt with a lot of fucked up adults when out playing that I do not want my daughter subject too. This included everything from staring, making me feel awkward by pushing conversation, to flashers masturbating at me.

stranger abduction might be rare but weird adults hanging around the streets is not.

I wouldn't have let DS do this when he was 8. We are lucky to have a playground opposite the house and I didn't mind him playing there because it was quick and easy to get home if necessary; but somewhere that is a 10 min walk away, no, not until 9 at the very earliest. And I am generally a big believer in kids being independent and not wrapped in cotton wool.

So help him practise, and get some practise yourself.

eg. He goes ‘by himself’ but you follow along a short distance behind and then stay and scroll Mumsnet in easy range.

repeat further away.

repeat further away. Etc.

I think it depends on the area. Where I live - this is perfectly fine and normal. I suspect it's likely a different story in major cities.

The speeding would worry me but I think under normal circumstances 8 year olds are ready to start out on short trips with friends or alone in very safe areas. They're likely to be walking to and from school daily from age 11 so think it best to start with small freedoms and gradually built up. Traffic worries me, we have worked on road safety walking with me for years but kids can be less visible as they are shorter. I don't overly worry about stranger danger, abused kids almost always know their abusers.

You know what - it is a walk in the park, so to say. And what 8 and 9-year olds should not be doing is what my neighbour's daughter is doing - she is an 8-year old young (obviously unpaid) carer for her gran who does not speak English. This little girl unfortunately can't go to a park or cross the road, she is literally tethered to the old woman. She knows all her meds, what to do if she falls ill and what to say when the ambulance comes and how to translate for her gran when a GP visits. She can't have friends round because gran does not like it. These children are fine.