To think we're going to have a generation of adults unable to socialise?

[Ezlo]

By that I mean in restaurants. I see so many kids glued to their iPods in restaurants, barely uttering a word to the rest of their family. The future unsettles me.

I feel you probably don't know how to interact with people in real life, you don't possess the skill is more than likely.
Why else would someone not want to interact with anyone in real life ever.
It's probably you that's boring love.
All the people you know you had to get to know once.
It's probably best you don't bother though.

Stick to your own kind lol. We are all just people of this earth.
If your so anti chatting, I doubt you would bring anything worthwhile to the conversation anyway.
Can't bring anything to the party is an apt saying.

Then why does it matter whether other people choose not to socialise?

They would have chatted before phones. The phone distracted them and they are addicted to it.

It dosen’t matter to me at all,
It was a comment / an opinion on the OPs post

Totally agree...and no rose coloured spectacles were worn or needed.
DH and I went away for a few days last summer and used the buses for journey's while there, both now in our 60's and chatted to many people the same ish age, but then whenever I've been on public transport, or anywhere for that matter at irrespective of age 99% of the time I've always been happy to talk and have a conversation.

Maybe some people just don't want to chat with others they don't know, maybe they're socially inept.

Having just had a city break and yes, the amount of people on phones while incharge of pushing prams.
Worse for me though is when I see a DC trying to talk to the person that's scrolling through a phone, listening to TikTok or whatever and that person chooses to totally ignoretthe DC.

I remember when Peaches Geldof was more interested on being on her phone instead of concentrating on where the pram was going, didn't end well for the LO.

Ah, to be fair, I managed to tip DD out of the buggy I accident when I didn't see a high curb, no phones involved

Well, yes if you’re asking then to sit for hours while the adults socialise. But a child should be able to sit for the amount of time it would take to eat dinner if they were at home. Out for dinner a couple of nights ago when a woman came in with two boys, both with headphones on, who sat eyes down on phone for the duration of the meal. Adult seemed to be ignored. The boys looked about twelve and fourteen, so more than old enough to engage with the adult who was presumably paying for their dinner.

Not suggesting that we should return to my childhood, when I was expected to still be sitting up straight at the table at 11pm if I was out with my parents; but how else will children learn social skills if they’re allies to completely disconnect?

This is such a bizarre take, and you’re so angry. You aren’t owed conversation on the bus. The fact that you resort to insults because someone wouldn’t start taking to you on a bus is crazy. You clearly have too much time on your hands.

I don't think phones prevent people having the ability to socialise, in fact the biggest socialisers i know are also the biggest phone users - because they're always messaging someone or someone's always messaging them. IME quieter introverts often spend much less time on their phones.

Sociability is highly heritable anyway plus a lot of social skills will be developed during time at nursery and school when kids won't be on phones. The big problem with phones and SM IMO is not socialising - in many ways they make it easier - but the risks of bullying, grooming and inappropriate content and the impact on self esteem.

It's a difficult one, isn't it? You can't please everyone, but we all just have to do the best we can, in looking after ourselves, and others; sometimes it is one or the other unfortunately which cannot always be helped. There might be a little old lady/man that you're the only person they will have spoken to all day. On the other hand, there may be someone who is just a "talker" and has a high social meter with a lot of company (my dm). It is so very important imo to see the grey, and in that moment do the best we are able to do, with the capabilities that we have at those times.

Not necessarily. I used to always have a book with me as a teenager and would sit happily reading during meals in cafes/restaurants, etc. I still carry a book now sometimes on longer bus and train journeys and even sometimes if I'm away on my own I'll read a book during hotel meals, etc. Alternatively sometimes I'll be looking at my phone or ipad. Not everyone has to fill every spare moment of the day engaged in idle small talk!

Surely if you were looking at the other table for the whole time during your meal, you can't have had the best social skills either during that time? If you only looked at them here and there then you may have missed several occasions where they chatted to each other and/or their parents.

Me too. Although we spent a lot of time in the car as children (grandparents lived 5 hours away) and I was bitterly disappointed that I couldn't read in the car because it made me sick.

I think it’s lazy parenting. Parents just fall into the trap of pacifying their young dcs by handing them an iPad, or their mobile phones showing a pepper pig episode, when out and about in a social setting. I recall when videos came out, it was similar, in that parents would sit their children in front of a Disney movie. All good as an occasional thing, but sometimes it would be back to back videos. At least though when out at restaurants, they couldn’t take their videos there, so there was a bit of normality and social interaction. I get sometimes it’s tempting to try to get some peace, but it is detrimental I think to a child’s development when it’s a regular routine.

But how will they film it for their insta page?

I have friends who film and post every day. It's nuts

It's bloody hard for parents though

Once you allow your kids to have a screen once, that's it forever
Screens are addictive for adults and kids

It’s equally nuts that you see their posts every day. The people who watch content every day are not better than the ones who post every day.

This. I am in my 70's. We had a tradition in my family of going out to a proper restaurant a couple of times a year plus once on our seaside holiday. It was pretty expensive and we weren't well off. The first time I remember I was about 5 I won't say my parents were judged for it but it was considered quite unusual, even eccentric.

me too except I read on my phone.

When was your childhood? I think you are talking about a very narrow period of time if children used to go to restaurants and chat to adults. When I was a child, restaurants and pubs were for adults. Children didn't go to them but still managed to learn social skills Or do you think only people your age have social skills?

I have many books on my phone but I find I really don't read them on there unless I'm waiting for an appointment at the doctors or somewhere like that. I still love the feel of paper books, there is something special about that (I'm in my 50s).

I was though, not allowed to read a book at the dinner table. Sadly. I really, really wanted to and tried hard (and failed) to get that rule overturned.

MidnightPatrol "And their parents are probably interacting with them the other 99% of the time."

Wishful thinking. Sadly I think we all know that in many homes that is likely to be far from the truth.

This.
It’s been happening for some time and it’s very sad.

Yes that's it. My teen daughters that didn't have a phone until they were about 14 and have both said themselves that this is the problem.

They have also both said that they are adamant, if they ever have their own children, that they will delay allowing this sort of tech for as long as is physically possible.

Once kids have got them you are never going back....

Not aimed at any poster because there are so many latched on to this issue but, what's the point hand-wringing over it ? So many threads are about this very thing, ipads and usage by children.

Whatever people say their usage is, they're not believed anyway. People who do give their children ready access won't be changing that so really, what is the point? Does it make anyone feel better to rant about it? About something they are impotent to do anything about?

People did used to mind their own business over individual choices very much more than they do now, that I do notice. Unless somebody is actually encroaching on you, surely you pay attention to your own children?