Step son used my bath towel

[Green0911]

Want to gauge if IABU here.

My and my husband's towels are in the bathroom. Teenage SS keeps his in his room. We each have a hand towel and a bath towel. They all get changed every 3-4 days. When it came to changing them, I realised SS didn't have his towels in his room. He said he'd put them to be laundered a few days before. When I asked him which towels he'd been using in the meantime (he'd showered at least twice during this period), initially he claimed none, then admitted he'd used mine.

I blew a fuse. Couldn't believe he thought this was acceptable. Husband has laughed it off and is accusing me of being dramatic/blowing things out of proportion.

AIBU?

Am I? Ok thanks for letting me know 🙏

Honestly why can’t just people say penis and bum

Because she's the one with the problem, so should make her feelings known, but not by blowing a fuse. Not all hygiene standards are created equal. People aren't mind readers to others' levels of hygiene. I'm sure some teenage boys could care less about who's towel they use and it's a parents job to correct the behaviour they think is unacceptable.

I do think it's gross and also rather disrespectful if he knew he was using your towel and not his father's. As PP suggested, keeping your bath towel in your bedroom from now on might be the best option, if he can't be trusted to bring his own to the bathroom or find a spare when his is unavailable.

This is the crux of why people are saying OP IBU. I’d she’s got a thing about towels then fair enough but you don’t approach the problem behaving like an absolute lunatic towards a teenager

Why are people suggesting OP keeps her towel in her bedroom? Isn’t it just easier if all towels are in the bathroom. Or is there a second class citizen towel system in OP’s house?

Using a towel is hardly walking all over someone. I’d think someone ranting and raving at a stepchild for using the wrong towel was the one upsetting people. i doubt he did it to spite her (he may from now on depending on how frequently he gets ranted at for next to nothing), I’m sure he just did it because he was wet.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

You’ve both missed the point and misplaced your dignity here.

Can we have a diagram of the bathroom layout, where the towels are, description of the towels etc. Are yours Barbara Cartland pink op? Do they have your initials monogrammed on? Do all towels look the same? Or are they nearest to the shower, hence the nearest thing to grab by someone who has forgotten to bring their towel out from the cupboard under the stairs from their bedroom to the bathroom?

Have you shone a bright light in the step son’s eyes to interrogate whether the towel was used lightly, whether he did a Full Monty style swinging the towel about before rubbing it back and forth between his “nooks and crannies”? When he confessed his sins, did he claim he just used the nearest towel, or did he admit whilst on the rack that he tea bagged your towel and polished his dirty ring with it?

So many questions to establish the blowing a fuse reason?

Um, no, @MrsJHernandez

The teen is the one creating the problem. OP isn't asking for anything other than rock-bottom ordinary hygiene and respect.

I'm 61 and have managed to make it through childhood, teenage years, uni years and adulthood living with family, roommates, partners and visitors without ever once using another person's towel, and vice versa.

It's not normal and OP's expectations are far from demanding or excessive.

Well exactly, that's why I suggested it (others too I'm guessing). Imagine having to use a hand towel kept in your bedroom every time you went to the loo.

Either keeping towels in your bedroom is fine, in which case OP can keep hers in her room and know that no one is using them.

Or it's a ridiculous pain in the neck and keeping your towels in the bathroom in your own home is a perfectly reasonable expectation, in which case OP will have some insight into why DSS used hers.

You made my point for me, @CheekyHobson

As far as you know...

A towel? Your step son used..really ?

I’m a very indecent person then. My children are all grown up and I can report that they are lovely, caring, hard working, responsible young adults - despite the misfortune of having a mother who couldn’t care less about towels. .

The youngest is still living at home and does leave his on the bathroom floor sometimes, as does his father.

I wouldn't like it but blowing a fuse over it is a bit much. I'd keep my towel up in my room if it bothered me that much.

OP didn’t ‘ask’ SS to not use her towel. She lost the plot.

FGS. It's just a towel. AND he was freshly showered. Assuming he has no infectious diseases. It's not ideal, but it's not like he stuck her toothbrush up his arse (which would be the only thing warranting your reaction here). He wasn't creating a problem on purpose. Maybe he didn't know that's not the done thing. He saw a towel and used it. And yes, it is the parents responsibility to correct their children's behaviour. Who TF else is responsible if not the parents?!

I don't know why you're getting so angry about something which doesn't affect you whatsoever. Children aren't growing up to be criminals because they shared a towel. It's totally ridiculous to be arguing so angrily with strangers online about a bloody towel. Dramatic much?!

You cannot be serious.

How big are peoples bathrooms if you have individual hand towels? There's 7 of us in my house. That would be a lot of towels 😂

Yuck, I wouldn’t be happy that I’d wiped my body and face dry woot ha towel he dried his genitalia and arse with but I wouldn’t blow a fuse about it.

what do you think happens? If he wouldn't have told you, you wouldn't even know. Seriously, this thread is bonkers.

This. Did you blow a fuse because his is a stepson that used your towel or because he is a person that used your towel. Your title suggests the former.

He is a teenager. Teenagers will teenage. And while am one if those who prefers my own towel (often traveling with one even to the poshest hotels), I also know that this family individual towels is a modern concoction borne out of increasing wealth. Unless your SS has an infectious (and deadly, incurable) disease it's really not a big deal. Gently telling him that's not on and pointing him to where clean towels are should have sufficed. Yes, he might know where clean towels are but he is a teenager. Needs reminding.

I agree with a pp who said you are being a total drama llama. I couldn't care less if someone else used my towel.

He didn’t use “your” towel, he used “a” towel. One that was in the bathroom. And then he used it again. And a third time.

A teenager showered regularly, dried his freshly washed body with a towel in the bathroom and hung that towel back up. And for that you blew a fuse…