Step son used my bath towel

[Green0911]

Want to gauge if IABU here.

My and my husband's towels are in the bathroom. Teenage SS keeps his in his room. We each have a hand towel and a bath towel. They all get changed every 3-4 days. When it came to changing them, I realised SS didn't have his towels in his room. He said he'd put them to be laundered a few days before. When I asked him which towels he'd been using in the meantime (he'd showered at least twice during this period), initially he claimed none, then admitted he'd used mine.

I blew a fuse. Couldn't believe he thought this was acceptable. Husband has laughed it off and is accusing me of being dramatic/blowing things out of proportion.

AIBU?

This IS serious. If he's been so poorly raised that he'll disrespect his stepmother rather than exert himself to care for his own towel, what other poor character traits is he developing?

He's not a nursery child. Decent people know that bath towels are private and not up for grabs.

Ewww, seriously?

God, the standards here are abysmal.

Individual hand towels are pretty much rock-bottom couth. I don't care to dry my hands on some dank communal cloth.

I see the typical assumptions are being made that as step-mum it’s your job to facilitate towels.

I do think it’s odd he picked your towels. Why didn’t he use his dad’s?

Oh good grief 😁

I was wondering the same thing.

I’m not scoffing at her boundaries. I’m scoffing at her “blowing a fuse”. Teenagers often don’t think through things, explaining why she doesn’t want to towel share calmly would’ve been far better than this overreaction.
I don’t think the step son was deliberately tea bagging her towel just because she makes him keep his in his room.

.I don’t think a shared hand towel if washed frequently is a problem.

I agree with you that there is something odd with it.

He more than likely just saw a towel and so used it!
Not "I'll show step mum, I'll use her towels haha"
It's not that deep bro as the kids might say

It’s not serious. Vaping is serious. Committing crimes is serious. Being a bully is serious. Being recruited to a county lines gang is serious. Using someone else’s towel is only serious if you are a particularly anal and awful weirdo

If he's been so poorly raised that he'll disrespect his stepmother rather than exert himself to care for his own towel, what other poor character traits is he developing?

Youre SO right. Towel sharing is a well known gateway to drug dealing, violence and becoming a sex trafficker

No, this is case for Mi5

But this has been happening for days and every day he is choosing OP’s towels. It is weird.

I worry for some people’s kids that their standards are so high that they think a child using someone else’s towel is “serious”. Just don’t be surprised when they never visit you after they leave home.

Decent people know that bath towels are private and not up for grabs.

Decent people have a civil conversation when their boundaries are crossed (particularly by people whose brains are still developing) rather than losing their shit about something that as this thread shows quite clearly, is not a major issue to many people.

Have you not heard of the concept of “emotional hygiene”? As you’re such a fan of hygiene I would have thought it would appeal to you.

Yes, it's a bit grim to share towels, and in an ideal world it wouldn't have happened, but it's done now. To blow a fuse over it is a massive overreaction. You just needed to politely say that sharing towels is not something you're happy with doing and please don't do it again. Or just ask his Dad to relay this. Maybe ask if he'd like a new set in a different colour/pattern so there's no confusion. How did you not notice your towel was wet or not left exactly how/where you left it?!

Same here. By all means tell him to use his own but not go ballistic, things like that happen in families, you're not likely to get foot and mouth. Have towels in a cupboard somewhere, readily available.

What do you use then? Paper towels? The OP obviously thinks it’s acceptable to use the rock bottom couch cloth though so if that’s what she sees as acceptable or then why can’t they be shared?

Calm down Hyacinth Bucket.

Good god, how many different ways can you attempt to make this HER fault and her responsibility to fix, ffs?

If you didn't notice,you aren't that clean yourself.

Leave him alone. You are being ridiculous.

oh well, on the bright side, he does shower regularly😂

Yeah, could be worse, least he's a teenager that regularly washes 😁

Well this has got rather heated. I agree with your totally about towel sharing op. I would not like anyone not in my immediate biological family to use my towel. That doesn’t mean I would treat a step child any differently in any other way btw. It just would feel disrespectful both to the stepchild and their mum and I wouldn’t like it for me either from a boundary perspective, regardless of their age.

Idk what you mean about losing your shit. Hopefully you haven’t embarrassed your dss too much a conversation would have been better and strategies to manage the situation.

My fil used my towel when dh and I first got together. I didn’t like that at all. He just grabbed the first towel as I think dh and his parents possibly just used whichever towel if I’m honest so it wasn’t thought through. I started keeping dh’s and my towel well out of his way when he came to visit or we went to his house.

Five year olds can keep their towels straight; there's no excuse for a teen no matter how as-yet-undeveloped his brain is.

No wonder so many are growing up to be the shitty, disrespectful, self-absorbed bellends that we hear about in endless tales of woe on this site. Their apologists and facilitators are legion.

Genuinely can't tell if this is satire.

It’s not. That poster thinks even hand towels are the devils handiwork. God knows what she dries her hands on