Step son used my bath towel

[Green0911]

Want to gauge if IABU here.

My and my husband's towels are in the bathroom. Teenage SS keeps his in his room. We each have a hand towel and a bath towel. They all get changed every 3-4 days. When it came to changing them, I realised SS didn't have his towels in his room. He said he'd put them to be laundered a few days before. When I asked him which towels he'd been using in the meantime (he'd showered at least twice during this period), initially he claimed none, then admitted he'd used mine.

I blew a fuse. Couldn't believe he thought this was acceptable. Husband has laughed it off and is accusing me of being dramatic/blowing things out of proportion.

AIBU?

'My parents sometimes shared a bath (taking turns) as hot water was a luxury and derived from a boiler fed by coal. Our sole source of heating and hot water. But we had our own towels.'

How funny that hot water for washing towels was plentiful yet not plentiful for washing bodies.

Tbf once you've shared bathwater I think a towel is the least of your worries.

Get everyone their own towelling bathrobe. It replaces the need for a body drying towel and keeps you warm after the shower too.

You happy dry your vulva with a towel that has previously wiped dry your son's penis head and butt crack?

Ew

Twin tubs still required more effort than today’s machines. And drying copious towels would be line/mangle only. I suppose it might depend on how many people you had in the household. Larger families I assume may have involved shared towels, baths and even beds. I’m also assuming towels weren’t the thick, fluffy ones we get nowadays

Surely if he’s using a towel he is at a point when his hygiene is…good?

I don’t know about you but I use a towel at the point in the process when I am clean and fresh - not in lieu of the shower itself.

It’s annoying, but he’s a teenager. He probably doesn’t understand that it’s a bit gross (even if you’ve told him before!). Not worth blowing a fuse over.

All I do with towels are wrap them around me. So I just don’t think we’d have reached the level of interrogation for me to then be annoyed. That being said I don’t have a step son so maybe it’s the lack of familial bond that’s caused the drama.

Do people actually use a towelling bathrobe to dry themselves? I have one cos I like the thick soft cotton but I'd never consider it as a drying item.

Why the need to try and shock? Body parts are just body parts, there is nothing to be so afraid of. Vulvas/butt cracks all clean post shower. Unclench.

@LizzieLazzie

thepeopleversuswork The reason we have our own towels is not ‘secretions’ as such but the risk of fungus or virus infections which can be easily spread through sharing towels. Athlete’s foot is particularly common in teenage boys due to wearing damp trainers, for example. If it’s a choice between my family’s health or the environment, I’m sorry but my family comes first every time. Maybe selfish but I’m being honest.

Fine. If you don't want to share towels, don't share towels. My issue isn't particularly environmental in this case (although people have a point when they talk about waste). My issue is with this woman shouting at her teenage stepson for a very minor domestic infraction. It's massively disproportionate and will do unnecessary harm.

I love threads like this because they show the absolute batshit ways of people who assume what they do is the norm. Everyone being allocated a specific bath and hand towel is WILD.

Just go and buy some towels @Green0911 so that your SS doesn’t resort to having to using yours. Most houses have a stock of towels which people take when they need one.

Good grief. I wouldn't want to share a towel either but it's your OTT "system" that's caused this mess. Put all your towels together in a cupboard and after someone has used them they can hang them in their rooms to re-use or put them straight in the wash if needed. You sound like a complete control freak.

You seriously "dry" your vulva and butt crack with a towel? I've never felt the need to do that.

Having had a teenage son, I'm impressed your ss showers. That aside, I'd not be too impressed about him using my towel, but I'd not flip out. I'd buy him a bunch of some colour you wouldnt usually have (barbie pink, daffodil yellow, burnt orange) towels and let him keep them somewhere like in his room, and say try your absolute best not to use others, BUT if you do, lob it on the floor so I know it's been used and can change it out.

I would be annoyed but you might be overthinking this a bit too much if you made a huge deal out of this .

I use mine after a shower. It’s made of towel material anyway and it does absorb water. You quickly dry naturally when stepping out of a bath or shower. I only use the towel for my hair.

We are renting a house in a new country as we just moved. The toilet is about 12-15m from the bathroom with a bidet but no toilet. Did they run across the entire upstairs landing with dirty bum to use the bidet?????

You must have had a very sheltered life, then.

Of course you’d give a new partner, or any guest, their own towels, but not worrying about sharing towels among family is the norm among the people I know.

I do wonder whether all these super-hygienic people have their own separate personal teatowels for drying cutlery, cups etc. that have just been washed but before that were in other people's mouths! You never know, someone else's saliva might not have been scrubbed off sufficiently! The horror! In fact maybe they ought not to share cutlery and crockery at all…

This is such a minor thing. Poor kid!

What’s so special about your towel that it can’t be used? We just have a selection of towels in the bathroom and one picks whichever one is currently there (=clean & dry).

Not even your partner?

I find it odd how people will have sex with someone, put each others genitals in their mouths but not share a towel that was used immediately post shower (the cleanest they’ll ever be).

My mum admitted to using my shower puff once...I didn't blow a fuse, should I have done? Shower puff immediately was replaced, mum told to use the old one...end of story

You missed out "shaft", "balls" and "around the rim" in that fetid little fantasy.
Well done on the approved MN use of "vulva" though.

@Wonderi

I find it odd how people will have sex with someone, put each others genitals in their mouths but not share a towel that was used immediately post shower (the cleanest they’ll ever be).

It's utterly bonkers isn't it?

The more I read these threads the clearer it is to me that a lot of people on Mumsnet don't enjoy sex or think it should basically only be for procreation.

See also the threads about people insisting on putting towels down on the bed before they shag or who rush to change all the bedding afterwards, people who insist that occasionally being heard shagging is the worst fate that can befall a couple and that you should never have sex anywhere other than in your own bed in your own home.

I don't mind sharing my dh towel on occasion but my son? That's ew. I don't have sex with my son or stepson if I had one and I don't suck their penises. I also don't get close up and personal with their butt cracks.

The lack of understanding about science here is shocking.

Towels always harbour bacteria. The minute you step out of the shower or bath, your body will be covered with bacteria- some good, some bad- that are always in the air and will be on your towel. You have your own bacteria and another person has their own. You will share some, but not all. Just like everyone's gut bacteria is unique.

When you use a towel, bacteria will be on it.
When it dries on the radiator, or anywhere, the bacteria will grow.

What you or anyone gets up to with sex is up to you.

But basic hygiene of using one towel per person is the norm.
Otherwise, why is there not one towel in public loos? If everyone washes their hands and uses one towel, why not? That's the logic of it.

There are one heck of a lot of uneducated posters here.