Step son used my bath towel

[Green0911]

Want to gauge if IABU here.

My and my husband's towels are in the bathroom. Teenage SS keeps his in his room. We each have a hand towel and a bath towel. They all get changed every 3-4 days. When it came to changing them, I realised SS didn't have his towels in his room. He said he'd put them to be laundered a few days before. When I asked him which towels he'd been using in the meantime (he'd showered at least twice during this period), initially he claimed none, then admitted he'd used mine.

I blew a fuse. Couldn't believe he thought this was acceptable. Husband has laughed it off and is accusing me of being dramatic/blowing things out of proportion.

AIBU?

Those who don't share dh's towels how do you cope with sleeping together, do you stick rigidly to your side to avoid his germ encrusted side?

@Iloveeverycat because not everyone does that, they might not see the need, have the money to do so, care about the planet, have the time or they have a life (or a combination of these reasons)

I’m amazed you hadn’t noticed until 3 days @Green0911 if he is so grubby. Did he say he had purposely chosen yours? Is he normally a reasonably respectful teenager?

No harm done you’re all still alive

Yes it’s a good point why did he lie about it? Still wouldn’t have blown a fuse and if towels are to be used more than once I would keep mine in the bedroom.

@Eyerollexpert washing towels after every use is dreadful for the planet

Some people are happy to share towels, others aren’t and both think the other is utterly ridiculous / disgusting

I’m with you OP, I wouldn’t be happy, my dh is like yours and would think what’s the fuss.

Your dh should know that you don’t like to share towels and should talk to his son and explain that if he doesn’t have his towel to hand he should use his dads not yours

People share their DHs towels?? No way. DH would use mine if he'd gone in for a shower and forgotten to take one with him but I'd certainly not do that. You are conflating 2 entirely different things - sharing a bed and sharing a towel are not the same!

Yeah that's grim. And he definitely should have used his dad's. Male arse wiping on my towel? No thanks.

I think you overreacted a little, but Im surprised by how many people would supposedly be comfortable drying their face on a towel their DSS had dried his willy on, clean or not...

I think you can get worms though. But maybe not a. Std.

And for all you of so fastidious about clean towels, face flannels for washing hands etc. never go near school toilets. You may have strict control on hygiene in your house, but the word hygiene doesn’t really belong in school toilets when it comes to hand washing!

I would share a towel with DH if I had too, though I would use it first as I would hate a damp towel 😂 But I think the issue is he is a SS not her husband.

A over reaction from you, obviously he knows not to use it again I'd just let it go.
I cannot believe people dont have a clean towel everyday!3-4days no thankyou!

Thankfully my school days are behind me so that’s not an issue. And I do try and avoid public loos if I can help it as they are often pretty grim. I have a cast iron bladder though so thankfully don’t have to use them often.

@Green0911 I can't believe you a) blew your top and b) felt the need to start this thread. Are you aiming to be a stereotypical Evil Step Mother?

Please apologise to your step-son for over-reacting, explain that you still have things to learn about parenting, explain why you don't share towels, and let him know where he can get a fresh towel next time he needs one.

You are being absolutely ridiculous. Towels are there to wipe water off bodies that have just been washed. If your towel wasn’t noticeably dirty or smelly, there can’t have been much wrong with it, can there.

Presumably he comes from a household where people don’t care so passionately about that sort of thing. If you do, fine, just tell him and ask him not to do it again, but you massively overreacted. Poor kid.

Yes it’s fine to want him to not use the towels. But it’s the way she’s gone about it is totally ridiculous

You may have strict control on hygiene at home.
I don't. I just don't want damp towels hanging around in a house of 5. I don't get why people have separate hand towels unless someone has an illness that is contagious.

Do you have OCD?

That's when I started the daily towel thing. Kids got worms, part of the treatment and breaking the cycle involved daily changing towels and bedding (and hot washing it all too). It became a habit to change towels daily so, if it happened again, at least it wasn't spreading it around.

I just wonder if you'd have the same (over the top) reaction if he was your own biological son, or if this is just the way that your intolerance of him seeps out of you?
I think we all know the answer to that one.

My kids play in the mud, we're outdoorsy so get grubby regularly, we have animals - lots of them, we garden, cleaning happens but not as fastidiously as my own mother and I don't really worry about that. I'm definitely not a clean freak. As far as school toilets, they come home and in the evening, have a shower - with a fresh towel.

Maybe she wouldn't but like it or not it is different when it's your own child who you've raised and is part of you.

And think about all those years when roller-towels were commonplace in restaurants and public toilets! It’s amazing that we all survived, and without deep trauma.

@SmellyNelliey genuinely what do you think will happen if you don’t change your towel everyday? You do realise you are talking from a place of privilege. Look around the world, indeed this country, and think how many people wouldn’t be able to change and freshly launder their towels every day. People using food banks, do you think they have the money to do that, people in temporary housing, anyone who doesn’t have a washing machine and have to use communal laundry facilities of some form. My DM is in her 90s. She lives in retirement flats. They share a communal laundry. She has mobility issues but still trying to be independent. Shall I tell her she is grubby as she doesn’t create extra laundry for herself by not washing towels everyday which she would then have get to the communal laundry.