He says 'most women would just laugh', I think he's delusional. Settle a debate please

[TheFairSheep]

Hi all. I paid for my boyfriend to get a tattoo yesterday as a gift as he has wanted one for a while. I saw these messages earlier of a conversation he had with a friend whilst getting the tattoo. I was (I believe) rightfully disgusted and annoyed. He says it was just banter and 'lads being lads'. He apologised but added that most women in relationships would just laugh if they saw those messages and maybe be a little annoyed but I'm overreacting.

We live together and I am pregnant. Am I being unreasonable here? (His friend asked who was doing his tattoo, he sent the screenshot. I have blanked out her details for privacy).

And he's happy with banter that implies you'd be inthralled with another blokes dick.

I would be returning that banter all day long. I'd be pointing out all the men who served me or came near me and how they definitely deserved "a blowy" of me.

Oh he is talking about the female tatooist.

The way his friend has written that reads to me like your bloke cheats.

That was my first thought!

Thanks for laying this out straight. It also reads like her bloke is a cheat too and that he is making out he is not as committed as OP thinks he is to their relationship.

Ok. So definitely a misogynist then.

Lovely.

That is typical "banter" for certain types of men. I don't find it funny either though. I wouldn't be with that type of man. Definitely wouldn't want that raising my children. I prefer them less derogatory.

What? How is someone's getting gifted something they want chavvy?

That is typical "banter" for certain types of men.

And weirdly these losers always seem to end up with a woman ready and willing to have his babies and buy him presents. There needs to be some sort of public health campaign to educate women to raise their standards. These loser men more often than not have girlfriends

Oh blimey; that text exchange has offended me on so many levels. You'd be within your rights to leave him for just being a fuckwit to be honest, let alone all the 'banter' (which I wouldn't be laughing about).

Did he and his friend receive any education?

I hate how the word banter is used as an acceptable term for people to be sexist/undermine/belittle/ speak shit about others…
in my 20’s and 30’s when I’d been constantly cheated on and had zero self esteem, I’d have accepted this and stayed, but now I’m older I’d let this one go…I’m experienced to know that he is an absolute * that will go through with it if he thinks he would get away with it, seems his friends think the same way too

Absolute balloon. Swollen self importance and filled with nothing but stale air. LTB.

Stand aside boring women, the cool girls are here!

Did he send a picture of the tattooist to his friend? That's so creepy.

I wish I had friends that I could objectify men with by sending pictures and telling my friends I wish they receive cunnilingus from him. Why won’t these women include me in their very cool group?! 😭😭

On the note of cunnilingus - another red flag that OP’s OH thinks the female equivalent would be a woman wanting to “do the sucking”. Does he not realise cunnilingus exists?

Unless he’s an absolute 10/10 drop dead gorgeous hunky babe, which I doubt, there are men out there OP who you could be with that don’t talk this way. So you can do better.

He's going to cheat on you

I would dump for that. What an arsehole.

I'm not sure it would help tbh. The need to be in a relationship and have babies no matter what is so strong in some women that the type of man they are with doesn't really matter. See also women who are left up shit creek when their marriage-is-just-a-piece-of-paper "partner" of 20 years cheats/beats/dumps them.

If you need to go thru someone's phone then just end it.. if you don't have enough trust not to do that then don't waste your time with that person.
What they've said is immature and gives me the ick.. but tbf it just sounds like absolute nonsense that they think is funny rather than serious.
Personally tho I'd be furious if my DH went thru my personally messages with my friends.
If your relationship is at the point you feel like doing this I think it's over anyway. You can't stop someone cheating on you or behaving badly, by just snooping more or exerting more control.. it doesn't work like that.

Things written down in private chats aren’t exempt from the application of moral standards. How the chat came to be seen is a separate issue. I don’t think the OP has confirmed whether she was snooping or had permission to look anyway.

Tattoos-check
Poor literacy-check
Cheating scumbag-check
Throw in an XL bully and a bag of crack and you'll have lowlife bingo.

Oh wow, see I felt the ick lurking when I read your first post but this one just made the ick run into the room & crawl under my skin from where it will never leave.

Eeeh no. You would send a screenshot of a bloke you think is fit and say to your mates that you'd suck his cock?

You sound just as gross as the OP's fella

I’m sorry you have such low standards in men @TheFairSheep

He doesn’t sound like he respects women and his friend sounds even worse.