He says 'most women would just laugh', I think he's delusional. Settle a debate please

[TheFairSheep]

Hi all. I paid for my boyfriend to get a tattoo yesterday as a gift as he has wanted one for a while. I saw these messages earlier of a conversation he had with a friend whilst getting the tattoo. I was (I believe) rightfully disgusted and annoyed. He says it was just banter and 'lads being lads'. He apologised but added that most women in relationships would just laugh if they saw those messages and maybe be a little annoyed but I'm overreacting.

We live together and I am pregnant. Am I being unreasonable here? (His friend asked who was doing his tattoo, he sent the screenshot. I have blanked out her details for privacy).

You’re right…. That’s why we have been married for so long 🤣🫶

Yeesh. Yeah his a dick. There’s a difference between ‘lad banter’ aka - replying with a 😂 and actively encouraging it… which is what your boyfriend did. What an ick!

I think it’s just ‘lads banter’…and they’re messaging in ‘chav text speak’, hence the illiteracy. I also think the friend’s comment could be perceived as him actually enquiring whether OP’s boyfriend and her still with each other and the BF misinterpreting the friend’s question based on the previous messages. Personally, I know lots of young lads and older men who would have conversations like that with their mates - they are neither thick, grim or actually illiterate ‘in real life’. I spend a lot of my social time with men of all ages (actually prefer men’s company to women’s a lot of the time) and these are the sorts of conversations I sometimes hear. It doesn't always translate into them being misogynists with no respect for women.

He's into her sorry. Also why is his mate asking if you're still together? Implies he's been saying he doesn't want to be with you. A man who loves you would never do this

I couldn’t agree with this more. I would find a man getting a tattoo a turn off. The fact my 8 year old is more literate than both him and his friend would also go against him. That’s all before we get on to the content of the message. He’s just a really thick, chav, not my cup of tea, but you’re pregnant now so what can you do? Him and his rancid tatts are in your life for good regardless of whether you dump him or not.

Horrible man.

@TheFairSheep you're only eight weeks pregnant.

I would not continue a pregnancy by this man.

You will be connected to him forever.

There are many worse things than abortion.

Get out and run

He is disgusting. Sorry OP. Is there any way you can safely separate before your baby arrives? You don’t need him. He’s beyond immature and won’t cope! X

He should never be a father.
That's sexual harassment in the workplace.
It's emotionally abusive to you as his pregnant partner to degrade you to an object of service and every other woman on this planet.
You need to run and never look back.
Tell all women to warn them to stay away from these two lowlifes.
THERE IS ZERO WOMEN IN ANY RELATIONSHIP WHO LAUGH AT ABUSE, HE'S MANIPULATING YOU TO THINK THERE IS SO HE CAN CARRY ON CHEATING ON YOU. YES HE HAS ALREADY DONE IT MORE THAN ONCE.
I hope his genetics don't pass on , that kid is going to need a strong village, not weak pathetic role models.

Your boyfriend is grim. His mate is worse.
I'd recommend you leave him now.
Why on earth would you want someone so basic in your life?

Would I laugh? No. Would it bother me? Not really. I would most likely roll my eyes, sigh and remember how most men never matured past the age of 14.

The fact that his mate says “I know you too well” is concerning.

Sounds like he’s got form.

My 16 year old son is clever and respectful of women!

Banter???!!!! NO. I'd hit the f*cking roof. The fact his mates asking if he's still with you.... PLUS his reply is disgusting.

The first bit I could get over.... even where he says he wishes he could get a bj, I agree that's banter but the bit after where he says you're not there is past the line PLUS he didn't mention you paid for his tattoo.

So sorry but your fella is a piece of sh!t. You deserve better. Don't let him do too much bad before you leave and if you do leave, do it before baba knows any different.

Pm me if you need to chat xxx

Even assuming it’s just banter, OP seems intelligent and mature and this guy seems … the total opposite. I hope he’s a looker at least?

This is not a man you want children with.

If you’re only 8 weeks pregnant and you’re only 27 I would seriously consider terminating and NOT having to have this immature arsehole in your life for the rest of your life…

Do what is right for YOU. If you don’t want a big drama right now you don’t even have to tell him, just say you miscarried, but FGS think twice (and then three and four times) about how this guy will be as a partner and dad when the chips are down.

He sounds revolting and a baby is a permanent link you will never be able to erase.

Attraction isn't based on logic, it is based on certain stimulated feelings. Logic is used to justify the feelings.

Honestly, I would be telling him to grow up and treat you with respect. Or your gone and he can just have visiting rights via the courts. Why do people think that they have to stay in a relationship with someone who talks about them in a negative way. Like no you don't have to put up with that misogynistic crap if they were a well rounded person.

That's not 'lads banter'... Unless he's a time traveller from 1996 or been in a coma for the past 30 years? Maybe a member of some lost mountain tribe that cut itself off from civilisation? If no to any of the following - run!

That's not just lad stuff love, he's being a total ballbag. Are you from Belfast? I am so I recognise the lingo. A man that respects you wouldn't speak ill of you behind your back. My husband and I are so loyal to each other I'd go through someone if they so much as criticised him in front of me. If you want this relationship to work you need to show him now that this sort of shit won't be tolerated by you. Demand more from life. Do it now before baby comes. I'm sorry you're only finding out now what he's like. Hopefully he's young so he has time to wise up to himself.

Only a weeks pregnant. Are you in your 20s?

It's just there's still time to get away from this deadbeat

Thats men for you no respect

8 weeks

@samqueens

Agree