He says 'most women would just laugh', I think he's delusional. Settle a debate please

[TheFairSheep]

Hi all. I paid for my boyfriend to get a tattoo yesterday as a gift as he has wanted one for a while. I saw these messages earlier of a conversation he had with a friend whilst getting the tattoo. I was (I believe) rightfully disgusted and annoyed. He says it was just banter and 'lads being lads'. He apologised but added that most women in relationships would just laugh if they saw those messages and maybe be a little annoyed but I'm overreacting.

We live together and I am pregnant. Am I being unreasonable here? (His friend asked who was doing his tattoo, he sent the screenshot. I have blanked out her details for privacy).

I think, if he saw the equivalent exchange between you and a friend about a male tattooist or similar, op; there would be a MASSIVE argument.
He would possibly leave you, you'd be called all the names of the day, he would possibly question if your unborn child was his (because you'd be being called a slut, cheater etc.), he'd possibly even get violent ... He would not find it funny.

(And that would be whether you had joked about the tattooist doing oral sex on you or you doing oral sex on him).

(And how come you would be automatically doing the oral sex in this reverse scenario ...does he think only women do oral sex on men??? Does he expect it but not do it? So he's shit in bed and has sexual double standards too then).

His general double standards are off the planet.

You're not going.to be able to have a decent relationship with this guy.

He's a sleazy moron too.

They both sound thick as pig shit. I wouldn't find this funny at all but I wouldn't be in a relationship with so someone that thick in the first place.

NO I bloody never did! It is disgusting. You should learn from this thread.

It’s clear from just those few lines of text what this man is like and surely can’t come as a surprise to you?
Only you know what he is like and how he treats you.
I’d be more upset about the grammar 🤣🥴

@TheFairSheep are you going to show your BF this thread?

That in itself is telling. Is he just completely unaware that it's possible to give women oral sex, or....?

Anyway no OP, I wouldn't laugh. I'd be packing his bag. The way he talks about you to his friends says everything. the way that a friend he is close enough to send a photo of a tattoo artist to mid way through being tattooed doesn't even know whether you're still together, and doesn't seem to know your name.

They have not bathed themselves in glory and are clearly out of order especially with a pregnant partner who paid for the tattoo.

However I find the literacy shaming on this thread is also vile. Should we not be friends with people with a low IQ? Awful

Is he just completely unaware that it's possible to give women oral sex, or....?

Even porn hounds know oral sex on women exists.

Since lots of porn features oral sex on women (usually for a shorter period than the oral sex on men but ..).

Should we not be friends with people with a low IQ?

This isn't a friendship, it's a relationship, with a potential child involved.

And fwiw, in my experience, friendships between people with very different IQ's rarely prosper.

I would not be with a person who had so little respect for me. That’s it.

He's also gas lighting you by saying that most women would laugh.

You know that's bullshit.... That's why you posted on here saying "I think he's delusional".

I don't think even he believes that, but it's a technique to get you to back down and shut up and take his awful behaviour.

And if he does truly believe that (j doubt it) he's stupid.

Op, it's a good thing in a way that you started this thread; but you didn't actually need to ...you know those texts are shit, you know most women wouldn't laugh.

You know you'd be in real trouble if he saw the equivalent.
(And you know he wouldn't see the equivalent because you wouldn't behave like that).

There are men out there not like him.

To ask the difficult question, are you far along?

This sums it up sadly.

So sorry OP. I wouldn’t be able to get past this. If you were my daughter (and I have a 27 year old DD) I would be helping you to LTB. There’s plenty more misogyny where that came from and it’s heading your way if you don’t get out.

I was referring to the friendship between the two men.

I am also really sorry that you struggle to have relationships with people you deem to be below you. I can only imagine that to be a less interesting existence.

I was referring to the friendship between the two men.

What makes you think only one of them is low IQ?

I am also really sorry that you struggle to have relationships with people you deem to be below you. I can only imagine that to be a less interesting existence

I'm really sorry you make gigantic assumptions that bear no relation to what someone has written.

I also feel really sorry for people who use passive aggressive faux sympathy/sadness.

with people you deem to be below you.

Why would someone with a different IQ from me, be below me?

You're really revealing a lot about yourself with every sentence.

Some women might just roll their eyes and think he's a nob but I can guarantee no woman would laugh. It's not even a tiny bit funny unless you're in primary school and still find the word 'blowy' hilarious.

What he said in your second post would piss me off more - he really thinks women just exist to 'service' men doesn't he?

I think you are missing the point actually. The point is OP would have been none the wiser and still all loved up with captain caveman if she hadn't read his messages.

How long have you been with prince charming?

It sounds like a short relationship, are you sure you want to have a baby with this guy?

Would you want a son who behaved like this?

Or a daughter with man like this?

Why were you snooping on his phone?

Him and his mate should get matching Beavis and Butthead tattoos

Good grief, this is just horrible. I wouldn't laugh at all. Just disrespectful to women all around and trying to fob it away as your reaction is wrong is pathetic. I’ve heard young boys about 13 speaking like that on the bus, thinking they are so cool and it’s seriously depressing. Maybe it is what they think of as ‘banter’ but it does reveal something. Maybe your DP was just going along with it but really he should be calling it out. Anyway, just some thoughts to consider.

Well I think you are all overreacting. The friend said " you are definately getting a blow job later " or am I wrong?
I expect he means that your dp is going to look hot after the tattoo and therefore you are more likely to want a shag. Some people do get turned on by tattoos which is not a biggie. My dh was very excited by mine.
As for the thick comments...get a life. Friends don't quote Shakespeare to each other.
Is it funny? Not really so in that respect yanbu. Is it LTB territory...up to you but if he is othetwise lovely wouldnt assume that this means he hates women etc.

So gross.

I would be reconsidering the relationship, pregnant or not.

And I hate to say it but if you're not far along I would be reconsidering the pregnancy as well. Your child deserves better than a man like this as their father.

Jesus wept!

He meant the tattoo artist.