He says 'most women would just laugh', I think he's delusional. Settle a debate please

[TheFairSheep]

Hi all. I paid for my boyfriend to get a tattoo yesterday as a gift as he has wanted one for a while. I saw these messages earlier of a conversation he had with a friend whilst getting the tattoo. I was (I believe) rightfully disgusted and annoyed. He says it was just banter and 'lads being lads'. He apologised but added that most women in relationships would just laugh if they saw those messages and maybe be a little annoyed but I'm overreacting.

We live together and I am pregnant. Am I being unreasonable here? (His friend asked who was doing his tattoo, he sent the screenshot. I have blanked out her details for privacy).

Disrespectful and gross

I really hate this 'i would just laugh '. Plus laughter emojis. Weaponising amusement to belittle normal responses to unacceptable shit.

He sounds as thick as pigshit. And I text in my own dialect so it isn't that.

Sometimes it's not that risqué jokes have been made at all ever in any context, it's the timing and complete lack of grace. In the pub, in passing, so neither you nor the other lady needed to hear. Whatever, as long as these smooth brains kept it between themselves.

But they've put it in writing. After you did something nice and made a gift of a tattoo for him. His first thought was to talk about oral sex with the tattoo artist rather than share his application, and to dininishes your relationship when asked.

Don't let him minimise this. Just because he can't think through why it's offensive doesn't make it a laughing matter.

No plenty of us don't.

Is the friend Jay from The Inbetweeners?

I don’t think most women would laugh it off, I actually can’t imagine my husband speaking to another man like that about me.

Wow - you are having a child with this neanderthal? Hate to say it, but your future doesn’t bode well if he thinks talking about his partner like this - ie as though she is an OnlyFans account, It is revolting. The ick from this would have me asking him to leave until he can grown the fuck up and learn how to respect all women generally, but me, specifically.

My DH and his mates engage in a bit of ‘bantz’ on their whatsApp (memes that they know their wives would give them a verbals slap around the head/hard eye roll for) - it categorically and absolutely NEVER strays into the area of discussing wives/partners performing sex acts. What a piece of dogshit this man is.

At first look I thought “lads being lads” BECAUSE I thought he meant you were giving him special treatment then I read it and saw they’re on about the tattoo artist!! Your boyfriend deffo has wandering eyes and this is cheating- he’s lusting after other women. Sorry you’re going through this while carrying this boy’s offspring. :(

Ew! Gross!

Why are you still with him? He has no respect or love for you. You deserve much, much better, OP.

I'm puzzled as to what they think the price would be.

Tattoos cost quite a lot.

Blowjobs cost around the same or more.

Is she supposed to be doing herself out of significant money (and risking oral StI's) by offering free blow jobs for no apparent reason, or is he supposed to be secretly paying her the money for the blowjob on top of the op paying for the tattoo?

Is the op's bf so devastatingly attractive that his mate thinks he'll be offered free blow jobs by any woman doing a service for him? Doubt it.

Where is this cross over between tattooists and prostitutes coming from ...is this a thing I'm unaware of?

Or do they think all tattooists - who presumably alao have tattoos : are automatically promiscuous and offer free sex acts? To pretty much every man who goes in for a tattoo?
And are they all single too? Or are they all cheaters as well as extremely promiscuous (with their choice of promiscuous behaviour being oral sex on men, not penetrative sex of oral sex ion them etc.).

If that's the case, how would male tattooists get any business? Only from female customers?

They think like stupid kids. In fact the kids I know wouldn't be this stupid.
They also think.like shit-eating sleazes whose attitude to women is terrible. And he's reinforced that with saying his double standards to you very clearly.

No I wouldn't find this remotely funny op.

I feel sorry for you being pregnant by him. How far along are you?

Its sexist, crude and dated 'humour' by men with low intelligence. Yes, some women might laugh, if they are also unaware and of low intelligence, or they only meet this sort of man, so assume its normal. Or they think that they should laugh to show they're not jealous, or something. However if none of that applies to you, it's absolutely reasonable not to find this funny.

message content is irrelevant. I couldn’t be with someone who is and is friends with such immature “adults”. They both sound thick as pig shit. Do yourself a favour and do better.

Most women would be laughing. At him. Because he comes across as an immature a-hole with no respect for women. His ‘mate’ likewise. Like a messages from a 12 yo.

I assume he’s not a ‘lad’ if he’s living with a partner and about to be a father. He’s a man. And should act like one.

I suggest you expect more maturity and respect from people you spend time with. And certainly from people you buy gifts for. Hopefully, you know your own worth.

Save your money and energy for yourself and your child.

This.

He sounds like a teenage dickhead. You could do much better.

The man’s an idiot. Even if he likes to “banter” with his mates, he should like you enough and have enough respect for you to make sure that you are off limits when it comes to this sort of thing.

WTAF? Wow... please tell us he is not above the age of 19?

So you’ve never had a good look, sent messages and had a giggle over a fit server? Or guy at the gym? Or a poolside on a girls holiday?

I don't think I've ever seen an exchange between women about a tattooist/mechanic/personal trainer saying;

"So I bet he's going to lick you out too eh"

"Ha, I wish.
Maybe after he's done the tattoo/serviced my car/done the PT session".

"Are you still with your boyfriend?"

"He won't be there though, will he".

Bear in mind her boyfriend is also paying for the tattoo/car service/gym session.

Even the initial idea/assumption that a non sex worker being paid to do something would somehow be up for performing sex acts on you..... Extremely sleazy, bizarre, sex obsessed and creepy.

You 'do' this kind of behavior? You and the guy from the post should attend the same grammar classes, you might get a discount.

What a Prince you have there OP .

Save your money and energy for yourself and your child.

Yeah.

Don't spend it on this shit, who rewards you by "bantering" with his mates about cheating on you with the person you paid to do something for him.

(In their little fantasy porn world where all women are up for it and random women offer them blow jobs - women who aren't sex workers, who probably aren't even single, who probably wouldn't even fancy them etc. etc.).

yuck - they r both disgusting creeps

even the reversal scenarios reek of misogyny, incl from the OPs boyf. Umm no she wouldn't be doing the 'sucking' if it was the other way round - just gross

feel sorry for the baby

I mean....is she not accurate though?

Lol...like that was going to happen.

"That should be sister, but I ain't no nun".

Do you think they can teach how to be witty and not cringe inducing at the class too?

To be kind, I think a bit too much vino was being drunk around 11/12 last night.

How has the word “bird” come back into modern parlance with younger men? I thought it went out in the 1970’s.

I have also noticed an increased use of the word “his Mrs” amongst younger men for a female partner (whether married or not). I can’t help but feeling that this is one step away from “her indoors”!

Eurgh. Is that where his mind goes?

What was it that attracted you to him?

Surely, your stomach turns every time you think of him after this crass response.

There’s a different life for you out there, where you can have relationships with men who are mature, genuinely funny and respect women.