To be pissed off that he didn’t offer?

[PB96]

I’ve been with new boyfriend around 3 months, known him around 6 and he has been regularly staying around my house for the last 2 months. He has his own place but I have a dog that I don’t like to leave and he lives in a flat whereas I have a house and garden.

He stayed over the other night. We both didn’t sleep all that well for different reasons. He is pretty used to not sleeping very much due to work and was absolutely fine, whereas I have a chronic health condition and if I don’t sleep well, I felt absolutely rotten the next morning (severe headaches, feeling sick, struggle to get out of bed sort of thing).

I do all the cooking for us both, as he doesn’t like doing it but does it absolutely fine for himself at his own house, and I don’t know if he feels 100% comfortable cooking at my house. So we woke up the next morning, and I was really really struggling, it got to around midday and we were both hungry however he didn’t once offer to get up and make breakfast for us both even though he knew how awful I felt, he just waited until I was up and out of bed to cook something (for him too).

AIBU to be pissed off about this and that he could have made the effort as a one-off?

He also must be enormously overweight if he has a huge fry up every morning.

Sounds like he’s a lazy bastard tbh. Chuck him 👋

Who other than Eastenders characters have a full English every morning?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5248612-is-this-just-outright-laziness?reply=141222568

YANBU. You shouldn’t have to ask, he should want to take it turns to cook and to look after you when you’re ill.

He’s making excuses when he says he doesn’t like doing the cooking. Breakfast is barely even cooking.

Toss this tosspot back in the sea!

This sums my thoughts exactly.

He sounds useless. Why are you bothering with him? Free yourself.

You've got a lazy boyfriend that you have let basically move in after a month of dating.

You've established a pattern of two months of you doing the cooking.

He's showing you just how thoughtful and appreciative he is. That is, not at all.

You need to communicate to him - you are feeling crap, he can go and do toast/get croissants and coffee etc.

If he fails on this and has expectations of you bring his slave then ditch.

What do you mean it's the only thing he eats? What do you like for breakfast? Why didn't you make that? Why are you martyring yourself to wife work for a boyfriend of 3 months??

Depends what his idea of cooking is... Maybe at home he's a microwave user only....

Yeah this.

If you're not comfortable enough to ask, why would have be comfortable enough to offer?

'It's your turn to make breakfast today, I feel terrible, please bring it to me in bed, thankyou' kiss kiss.

Good Luck in all your relationships if you can't make basic requests but prefer to simmer in resentment.

Is it the only thing he eats when he's there, or is it just the only type of breakfast you've made for him in the times he's stayed over?

If he will only eat a fry up every day, at home or at yours, then yes that's weird and he should pull his finger out. If he eats cereal or whatever most days and you have both had cooked breakfasts at yours of a weekend or whatever because you've cooked then that is different.

3 months isn't long though- if he's never cooked at yours before it would be a bit weird for him to just start in my opinion. Just ask him.

Also I'm sorry about your health conditions but any relationship that keeps scores on tiredness is, in my experience, probably doomed.

He's not a mind reader. Next time just say "I'm not feeling great- can you cook today?".
His response will tell you everything you need to know he will either do it willingly, or say sorry I'm a rubbish cook il order us something or we go out, or if he gets in a big huff about it then you know he's a piss taker.

it is, alas, the modern way that people have expectations of other people being able to read their thoughts instead of articulating their wish.

Speak up, OP. You barely know each other, how is he supposed to anticipate your needs at this stage?

1. Stop making a cooked breakfast. Buy some granola & yoghurt instead.
2. if he doesn’t like it, dump him.

Beware of the man who doesn't do household chores because he doesn't 'like' them.......
What else will he decide he doesn't like doing?

He probably doesn’t feel able to act like he lives there after three months.

of course he does 🙄

you are making a rod for your own back here.

1. speak up for what you want
2. stop making him cooked breakfasts every time he stays over thats ridiculous

Do you want a cooked breakfast every time he’s at yours OP or is this something he’s decided?

Just don’t get the supplies in if he’s not contributing. Tell him there’s yogurt and cereal if he wants to help himself

Just say I'm popping some toast in, fancy any

Stop cooking

It’s the same thread isn’t it. Only detail that’s changed in the gender of the partner.

Just to check, what sort of breakfast does he cook for you when it's his turn?

Did he live with his mum too long?

Cooked breakfast 😆.
Why didn't you just say go get cereal .
You could have made yourself cereal or toast .
If it's a lazy issue on his side then tell him now . Before it goes on longer .
I offer a coffee if I'm already making a hot drink . If he wants a cooked breakfast he knows how to do it.
Unless it's his birthday/been sick and so on.