Kids WhatsApp group

[Pjsallday]

My 11 year old (year 6) got a phone for Christmas. He will be starting to walk to and from school soon as i want to prepare him for secondary school in September. I've always walked or drove him to school and I've seen quite a few peers going it alone so I guess it's time. Im abit nervous as he can be abit ditzy and I just want him to be aware of the roads etc. Anyway he got a phone so I could track his movements. He's exchanged his number with all our family members and some school friends. I didn't want him to have Snapchat WhatsApp etc as i knew he would become obsessed. So he downloaded WhatsApp secretly and of course there is a group chats with kids from school. Well it's all kicking off. One girl is putting up the little questionnaire things like who is funnier x or y. Who's the prettier girl x or y. Then the kids are voting. I'm very concerned about this. My child isn't responding so she's calling him out for it. I have took him off the chats but she keeps adding him. I fear this could lead to bullying. Unfortunately some of his pals who he's close with have interacted with all of this and I just feel it's all peer pressure. I want him to delete the whole WhatsApp but he likes sending pictures to his aunts and uncles etc. Anyway my AIBU is do I tell the teacher. Obviously if she addresses the whole class the kids will figure out it might have come from my kid as he was the only one to leave the chat. And I don't want him to get left out or bullied for it. Im in two minds
I wish I never got the blooming phone now. What do I do. I feel so sad for him

My ds in y6 got a phone they all had them
There was endless interventions with school across the whole year, WhatsApp was used to bully and exclude, there were letters home, assemblies on smart phone usage, my own sons bully progressed to death threats by phone to extent the school told us to contact police as there was nothing further they could influence.

Many of them will not be mature enough for what phones and WhatsApp brings school will definitely want to know.

My eldest was given my old phone once he went to high school, initially he was added to loads of WhatsApp groups.
I keep an eye on the phone and was horrified about the language etc on them, I think I was probably the only parent checking what was happening on the groups.
My son voluntarily removed himself from them and hasn’t looked back. I gave him the phone as I didn’t want him too different to everyone else as he already struggles socially but quite a few of his friends have ‘dumb’ phones or no phones at all.
I have one in his final year of primary, he is one of the only ones not have a smart phone. He has a Nokia with no internet/camera that he can phone me on if he needs to whilst walking to/from school. Knowing now what I do, I won’t be giving him a smartphone when it’s his turn to go to high school, I’m not sure he would be as emotionally resilient as his bigger brother about some of the antics that happen on them, I would never have given the oldest one mine if I had known just how awful the groups etc were.

As a teacher I would advise you to inform the school. There are serious issues with online bullying and a lot on whatsapp. There are ways the school can get involved to minimise issues and encourage parents to be more involved in internet safety. You can only help your child but the school can help others.

WhatsApp group are the bane of school life!!! Bullying is rife on there, my 2 (13 &16) , have learnt just to have friend groups and they take themselves out of big class groups!! The age rating used to be 16, it’s only just been lowered to 13 I believe…x When youngest was in primary, the police had to get involved- they came into school and had a talk to them all about cyber bullying on WhatsApp!! Just delete the app, then re add later in a few months,

That's really helpful to know.

I would see this girls behaviour as a huge problem. That isn't even peer pressure that is coercion. She is hounding him to join in the bullying.

I also think we should all be supportive of this mum. She is obviously reaching out for advice and it feels like some comments are making out that she has somehow allowed him to download it. Kids are smart and it is hard staying ahead of them sometimes. The fact OP is concious of this shows she is a consciencious parent.

The parent of the girl perhaps is even less aware of how to put measures in place and it has led to this behaviour from her daughter.

And me. But I still felt too immature to handle it.

Phones are a really big deal now and its so so scary.