To think it isn’t appropriate (nursery)

[CherryCheery]

For a member of staff to kiss a child (17 months old) on the temple.

I won't send my children to a childcare setting until their old enough to explain their day perfectly to me which is when children are legally required to attend educational systems with caregivers.

I understand this is a privilege and most mothers do not have this privilege which is why I reiterate each to their own.

I would be really happy that my child was being shown affection by her caregivers at nursery.

That’s interesting - do you have a link to articles or research showing children have better outcomes with the mother as primary caregiver?

Standards?! Babies don’t need bloody professionalism! They need love and care! These poor things are launched into childcare as BABIES (needs must), the least we can give them is strong bonds with other caregivers. They area robots, they are babies

Wow you're being judgemental. Some mothers (myself included) return to work after their maternity leave- my (second) baby has been in nursery since he was 8 months old. I'd have loved longer off with him, but I'm also the breadwinner so we as a family needed me to return to work.
It doesn't mean I love my children any less than you do yours (which is your implication).
Families who rely on childcare need their children to feel safe and cared for while in that setting. Every setting is different, every family is different, what works for one won't work for another.
But how dare you imply that children who go to nursery are starved of affection at home, or 'see the nursery workers more than their parents'. You're gross.

YABU

it is NOT a childcarers job to be affectionate to other peoples children

It really, really is!

I think this is a really low blow, and I think that was intended. You won't get under my skin, I have no guilt about my DC going to nursery and I don't feel the need to justify it, but you could well upset someone else by saying that to them (or indeed by them reading you saying it to me). Different choices for different families are fine, there's no need to undercut others' choices to justify your own. I don't think it reflects well on you at all to speak so meanly about someone else's parenting.

Btw nursery staff aren't teachers (and that alone shows you don't understand nursery, and why should you if you've never used one but maybe be aware of that). And they certainly aren't raising my DC. They are doing a difficult and skillful job with a smile and affection for utterly shit pay that in no way reflects their expertise or importance.

Oh and my DC have loads of affection from me and their dad seven days a week. But affection isn't a limited commodity.

Or that under 2s see nursery workers as their primary care givers and not their mothers or fathers. 🙄

@onceuponatimelived yeah you’re just being a goady fucker now. Zero regrets another sending DS to nursery (at 10 months shock horror) he thrived, I thrived back at work and made a contribution to society and the economy.

it is NOT a childcarers job to be affectionate to other peoples children and I'm deeply concerned by all of the mothers on this thread who are more than happy to have their children kissed by a virtual unvetted stranger.
It absolutely is their job. And they are neither strangers nor unvetted.

And what happens in school? If your child falls over and is upset, do you not want them to be given comfort?

Same. I was a single parent but always worked.. My child is in her 40s now but looks back fondly at her time in nursery. Some of the Nursery Nurses were more affectionate than others but I'm glad she was in a place where people showed they cared about her. Some people seem to live in a very sad cold world nowadays.

You’re really quite something…

I pity your children far more than that of any parent who used childcare in order to work (they don’t need pity as their parents appear to have a much better idea of the big picture)
Imagine having someone so judgemental and nasty towards others as their main role model…

@BarbaraHoward
“Btw nursery staff aren't teachers (and that alone shows you don't understand nursery, and why should you if you've never used one but maybe be aware of that). And they certainly aren't raising my DC. They are doing a difficult and skillful job with a smile and affection for utterly shit pay that in no way reflects their expertise or importance.

Although I completely agree with everything you have said, some nursery staff are teachers”.

Usually these settings range from baby room- nursery class. Every nursery I have worked in has a teacher with QTS in the nursery room, the other rooms require a person at level 3 or above to manage the room. When I worked in a toddler room I was a teacher, not with QTS but a different teaching qualification.

So depressing. Of course it’s fine to do this

I'd have no issue with this. I wouldn't leave my kis at a nursery where I didn't trust the staff so I don't see the problem.

My child is given all the affection they need at home therefore don't yearn for it from caregivers.

🙄 a nursery age child doesn't "yearn" for affection from caregivers because they don't get it at home.

This website gets more and more batshit everyday. Of course it's fine to kiss a nursery aged child on the forehead 🤦‍♀️

I don't think any of ours have, but it's a different system here. My 4yo is at a publicly funded nursery school in the mornings, with a teacher and assistants and the associated ratios. It's all about school readiness (academically and socially).

Then in the afternoons she goes to a private daycare nursery, with the lower ratios. It's all about fun and exploring the world, lots of walks etc. Same syllabus but very different vibes. Private nurseries don't tend to run funded preschool rooms, they're standalone facilities because of the way the funding works.

There was one fantastic room lead who's a primary school teacher but she was just there because it's so hard to get a job in a school. She's moved on now.

I am glad that my 16m old son's key worker greets him with a peck on the forehead when I hand him over. Settles him instantly. Babies need physical affection.
They have commented that he is a "particularly cuddly baby" and so they respond by offering him cuddles whenever he wants. Knowing they have this approach (my older child went there too) is part of why I stuck with this nursery

Wait til she finds out we made an active choice to return to work FT - we could've coped on either salary when eldest was born but neither of us wanted to give up our careers. Bloody glad we made that choice though, I don't think we could survive on one salary now with the cost of living the way it is.

I tried so hard for my children not to know me, but alas judging by the number of times a day I hear "muuuuuuummmmm" I've failed. Shucks.

I don't think it's wildly inappropriate and I wouldn't mind if it was one of my children, personally. I'd rather know my child was well cared for whilst not with me. But having worked in childcare I can see why it's discouraged. You have to be so careful that you're not accused of any kind of abuse when working with other children and kissing can fall under this in a different context, even though it's probably meant with kind intentions. Another thing is showing preferential treatment to certain children over others because naturally you do have your favourites when working with children, you just can't let it show. It just blurs boundaries a bit. I'm not saying I think it's a huge issue because as I say if it was my own kid I wouldn't mind, but from a professional viewpoint I understand why.

perhaps mothers who know they lack in that department are all too happy to allow strangers to fill in for them.

I’d say it’s the opposite to be honest and mother’s who are very insecure about another known (not stranger) adult kissing and showing affection to their children are the ones with the issue they’re potentially projecting onto their children.

Gosh how sad to be upset about this