To think it isn’t appropriate (nursery)

[CherryCheery]

For a member of staff to kiss a child (17 months old) on the temple.

Gosh I loved that mine were hugged and kissed by people who loved them whilst I was working

Nope, I wouldn't say it is.
You're free to ask them not to though

Hugging of course but isn’t kissing too much?

I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s inappropriate personally. I didn’t do it when I worked in a nursery & can’t remember any other staff doing it. It wouldn’t have bothered me if that was my child though.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a peck on the forehead. Be pleased that the nursery worker likes your DC enough to do this!

I wouldn’t say it’s inappropriate, you may find it weird because you don’t really know them but your child does. For your child there’s no real difference between them and their family. They probably spend more time with nursery staff than grandparents and (most) people wouldn’t find a grandparent kissing a baby weird.

YABU

Babies need kisses and cuddles. If you can't be there to do it then whoever is looking after your child should do it instead.

A kiss on the mouth would be completely unacceptable obviously, but on the forehead or temple is fine.

It's exactly what I'd hope they do whilst caring for my children.

I think it's nice, it's important for children to be loved and cared for and it hopefully shows a genuine bond with their caregiver.

While some may see it as an act of kindness or affection, it is ultimately inappropriate in a childcare setting with a child that is not yours and should be avoided by all childcare practitioners which I should hope was extensively mentioned in their training, if they had any.

I get your concern OP. I would not feel comfortable with another individual to kiss my child even if it did come from a good place I just would personally prefer it if they did not do that.

YABU

Agreed. I'd rather have them be affectionate then cold. On the temple is fine.

No need. What if they have a cold sore?

What if it's a male carer and it's your 3 yo daughter?

There is zero need for kisses. I even teach my son only mummy and daddy should kiss him and no one else (grandparents are not present).

Professionalism is expected across all workforces and the childcare industry comes at the top of the list for maintaining boundaries essential to professionalism.

Imagine your boss kissed you on the temple at work because you performed well that day?

Ridiculously innapropiate, so why on earth would it be appropriate for my precious child? Leave that side of parenting to the parents, it is NOT a childcarers job to be affectionate to other peoples children and I'm deeply concerned by all of the mothers on this thread who are more than happy to have their children kissed by a virtual unvetted stranger.

What kinds of standards are you setting for your poor children?

A 17 month old is just a baby. They need affection so yes, I'd be OK with a kiss on the head. Far better than the alternative of cold, detached interaction all day. I would have thought that if you need to be separated from your baby then you'd actively hope that they're made a fuss of by their caregivers.

My daughter is 2, doesn’t go to nursery m. However she has had the same swimming teacher once a week since she was 6 weeks old and loves giving her a kiss and a cuddle. She only sees her for half an hour in a group setting and has become close to her. I think it is wonderful.

So being with someone I’m assuming most days and bonding seems perfectly natural.

Do you really expect a baby or very young child to go without being shown affection for hours?
I wouldn't expect my boss to kiss me, but neither would I expect them to help me put my coat on or do my laces up. Or feed me. Or any of the things that a baby or young child would need someone to do for them. My boss isn't my care giver.
I find it strange that people are happy to have someone change their baby's nappy, but not for that person to show their baby any affection.

Oh for goodness sake ........

I don't think it's inappropriate but it's your child and you're completely ok to tell them to stop if you want to

Who said affection can't be shown without a physical dimension? Affection can be shown in a variety of ways not only physical touch. I have met many teachers who are extremely kind and affectionate with the children they look after without kissing them directly. That is just innapropiate to me because I know I provide all of the care my child needs at home, perhaps mothers who know they lack in that department are all too happy to allow strangers to fill in for them.

Changing a nappy is an inevitable part of a professional childcare setting and not changing the childrens nappies equates to neglectful abuse and the shutting down of that nursery, kissing and hugging children is simply not apart of that curriculum and will not leave childcare institutions destitute if they choose to maintain professional conduct with children in terms of professionally refraining from any physical affirmations of “affection”.

Also, if mothers feel so strongly about their child being shown love by being kissed by strangers, perhaps they should find the time in their day to ensure their child is not going hours without a kiss from a stranger and dedicate their lives to showing the child they brought into this world some love and affection through physical affirmations of love.

Yeah I don't kiss other peoples babies in case I make them ill

I remember a hundred years ago in nursery when we were all supposed be sitting there quietly but Anne came in with lick-on tattoos from a Crackerjack box underneath her sweater and wouldn’t show me and I got in trouble for talking and Anne didn’t and I had to sit by the teacher.
And when the teacher let everyone go play she hugged and kissed me and that was the best.

I don't think childcare workers should kiss children, but as long as it's on the forehead it's fine. DS was kissed on the forehead by mistake once when being looked after for an injury, "she said whoops" he reported back, but he loved it.