What do you practically do if your adult child wants to live at home but cannot find a job

[AsmallabodeIsallweWant]

This really; let's say you have an adult daughter who is mentally capable and is going into her 20s but does not know how to find a job. Let's say you don't mind her living with you, but does she need to apply for a benefit or ?

It is a question really.

I’m assuming the situation is “won’t” find a job, rather than “can’t”, there are loads of jobs out there, they may not be very glamorous, or pay well, but if you want a job, you can find one. Cleaning, bar work, warehouse shifts…… just register with some employment agencies and you can find a job within a week.

I second the point made by pp upthread about NI contributions. It's important she signs on to her her stamp covered.

If she is ND then she somehow needs to get support with this. A GP onboard would help in the first instance to support any employment needs/adjustments she might have, and also grt her in the system/waiting lists for assessments. She would likely be "light touch" under UC and you would very much hope they would try to help her find something that's right for her, or provide training that helps. But she needs to realise that you either work, train or sign on, unless you have £££ in the bank to cover yourself.

The OP hasn't said that it's preventing her from working, and my comment stands, even more so if my DC had SEN, I'd be doing all in my power to ensure they were part of that 22% you cite.

Yes, looking between these two models of approach

Surely she could apply for whatever the equivalent of job seekers allowance is now, while she applies for jobs

My DD was shy and lacking in confidence, also possibly ND. She lived at home while going to college so was still living at home when she finished. I did worry about her getting a job and how she would manage and she struggled to find jobs in the field she had trained in. She got a job in a fast food place and it was really good for her, I'm sure it wasn't easy to start with but she gained so much confidence and it's the type of job where you learn to deal with people. She stuck it out for a couple of years and then went on to get a more interesting job.
I do think that if the daughter is able to get a job but struggles to keep one this needs to be looked into and help arranged depending what the issue is. On one hand keeping losing jobs won't be good for confidence but neither will staying at home not working.

If her mother wants to help her she needs to find out why she can’t keep a job and start dealing with those issues, that would be the most important/ helpful thing to do, letting her think she can possibly get by on benefits is not a good life lesson but I understand if the mother cannot afford to keep her without doing so

Maybe she does not want to keep the jobs and is deliberately getting herself fired

Applying for benefits isn't really an easy option though. You have to evidence a work search in order to claim them.

I know I was replying to another post saying you would have failed as a parent if a child was mentally capable but doesn't know how to find a job.

My point was kids can be intelligent but still be overwhelmed by this due to additional needs.

And what would you do after 3 months if they hadn’t found a job?

@MadeofCoffee I was just meaning my DS would see it as the easier option and then not put effort into looking for a job/apprenticeship (knowing him like I do!).

I along with DH helped our adult DS to our best of his ability for him to get his first "proper job".

I'd try and help to the best of my ability.

If she is mentally capable, force her into uni, to get a useful degree. Please don't force her to get a job - let her have a try with higher education, this will open up opportunities for her.

I love this

It's all very well but it can't go on forever! In five years time is she still going to go on living off you? In the meantime, valuable career opportunities are passing her by. Maybe she needs more education?

I'm ND yet also in a very high-paying professional job with potential for further career progression. Yes I've faced difficulties but difficulties are there to be overcome.

The regular quoting of the 22% figure often sounds like an excuse and a starting point as to WHY employment isn't possible.

(Mine you this is MN where in the past few days alone I've been told I couldn't possibly be a higher rate tax payer because I'm autistic)

It's all very well but it can't go on forever! In five years time is she still going to go on living off you? In the meantime, valuable career opportunities are passing her by. Maybe she needs more education?

You wait until they go out and then change the locks. Alternatively, you move and don’t give a forwarding address.

I think it's part of your role as a parent to help them get and keep early jobs (including driving lessons/ car to get to the job if needed). If the daughter's had jobs, she needs strong encouragement to stick at them for at least a year ago so she doesn't look flaky on her CV. I'd provide a roof for a limited time because in my experience adults need to move away from their parents to grow up and learn to be self-sufficient. If the daughter won't keep a job (and she doesn't seem to be honestly trying her best), she needs to apply for the benefit and move in with friends.

Not in this case. Girl is very gentle soul.

So issue isn't getting job.

Parent needs to teach the DC how to keep a job. Go on time. Stay the full shift. Be present - by that I mean put eh mobile away and learn the job. Stop allowing an alternative.

This are all basic requirements of keeping a job.

It's a minimum standard DC need to learn and quickly.

I say this with a 18 yr old DC on zero hours that takes almost any shift offered as they know sitting at home isn't acceptable when we all go to work.

You let them stay with you because you are a parent no matter what age your children are. These posts stagger me!

For the moment this is how the family sees it

We really don't have enough information to advise?

I needed the practical steps people would take. I was given great info and will pass it