Child didn’t get a party bag

[JandamiHash]

Hosted my son’s 8th birthday on Sunday. I sent out invitations in December and made it clear when people had to get back to me (7th Jan). We hired a magician and included personalised party bags that the magician makes himself - they have each child’s name on the stuff inside and it also included a magic wand and some of the tricks he did on the day so the kids could try themselves at home. They were a quite expensive addition but I didn’t mind as I thought it was a nice touch. I also ordered Domino’s Pizza and just enough for the partygoers as again it can be very expensive.

One child whose parents didn’t RSVP turned up. The mum is a bit of an Amanda (as in from Motherland) and has form for being a bit of a PITA. I did say “Oh you didn’t RSVP, it’s absolutely fine to stay but sorry I don’t have a party bag for James, just to warn you.” She looked annoyed and just said “I did RSVP didn’t I?” And checked her phone before saying “Oh dear I forgot. What a shame he won’t have a party bag.”

She then told me James is now vegan like her (was previously vegetarian). I said “Oh sorry there are no vegan pizzas ordered”. Again she looked annoyed and said how it would be awful not to feed him, so I said it was fine I’d call dominoes now to add one onto the order. She shared it with him and took the leftovers home. I was pissed off, if that was me I’d have at least ordered one myself for my child, but this woman is deeply entitled and a massive CF. I would never leave a child without food though and feel like I did the right thing.

Anyway I’ve had a text today to say how upset James is that he didn’t get a party bag, apparently the other kids are all bragging about their magic tricks that they’ve learnt with the party bag stuff and he’s feeling left out (she is forever messaging the mum’s group moaning he’s left out and nobody is his friend and expects us all to prioritise this with our own kids) and that I should have had spares.

I haven’t replied but WIBU to tell her that she should have RSVPd and the only person answerable to her son is her and her DH for sloppy organisation, and that plenty of children in the class didn’t attend the party. Also that I made reasonable adjustments for the food at my own expense. DH thinks I should send my bank details and ask for the extra £10 the vegan pizza cost!

The thread is not about that. OP is happy, her child is happy. Why are you unhappy?

DH has offered to go and post a packet of bacon through her letterbox 😂 I think it’s best to leave it entirely now. As tempting as the drama is!

James won’t be getting invited to future parties. Sad for him but entirely on his mother to buck her ideas up

So what if they aren't necessary? They are fun. Birthday parties in general aren't necessary.

I define winning as not letting entitled arseholes make a fool of me. I define winning as standing up for myself and not having the responsibility of the happiness of random people being inexplicably on my shoulders

Ah, ok , I'd missed your point there, sorry. The OP held a lovely party for her son who'd had a tough time, but yes, there are often too many parties and too high expectations sometimes. But this CF could have RSVPed to say no, as I assume you do to some, which is totally fine. Rather than turning up and complaining. And I suspect she knew it was a more expensive party so turned up in the way she wouldn't have done to a run around in puddles one as it wouldn't have benefited her.

I'm wondering if Amanda ever HOSTS parties? And if OP's son is ever invited?

I don’t think a magician in a rugby club hall is exactly elaborate for a party. It’s hardly gonna be the envy of Blue Ivy and North West.

You turned up to a party you didn’t RSVP to, demanded that I order extra food for your child - helped YOURSELF to it AND took it home without having the courtesy to even ask first. Consider the vegan bloody pizza the contingency plan, Ms Entitled 2025.

OP you are a hero for being so polite- side note- it wouldn’t hurt to keep an eye on this poor wee boy , just a quick search and the evidence for vegan children is so little but the largest study shows lower bone mass and shortness! Give him some cheese ham and pineapple 😉https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220525-is-a-vegan-diet-healthy-for-kids

Bonus points if the bacon has a playing card or other magician item stuck to the top.

But yes, leave it with her to stew on. Maybe she'll cotton on. Unlikely, but it's on her not you.

I have to say I’m glad that both my kids now are invited to fewer parties. When they were in infants and it was all-class parties I restricted it to once a month tops as often there were 2 on a weekend, every weekend!

I would ignore people like that.

Tempted to also throw in “Did you grow up in a barn? Who raised you? Didn’t you learn any manners at all?”

I doubt it, and anyway, I don't think he'd
want to go.

Pass the parcel with a tofu cube in each layer, a video on the evils of beef farming and James sat on a throne.

Funnily enough he didn’t get invited to James’s last one in September just gone. His dad (a total tiresome goon as irritating as his wife) came up to me with whole “I’m sooooo sorry your DS wasn’t invited to James’s party. We went to a pot painting class and there was a restriction of numbers and we just couldn’t squeeze him in I hope he’s not too upset.” 🙄 calm down James is not Prince George, DS will cope I’m sure

PMSL or if CF mum can make it disappear!

I was going to say that too. It seems pretty typical to me for that age.

🤣🤣🤣

I once offered her a chocolate orange segment at sports day as she was standing next to me (before I knew she was a dick) and she said “No I don’t eat any animal related products”. I made sure to make lots of mmmmm noises after that

I couldn't be happier thanks.

The thread is about a disgruntled women showing OP a side to her she didn't deserve. My point is relevant in that this happens a lot where someone isn't happy which causes even more stress to women who organise huge birthday parties. OP was understandably upset & it's why she posted.

Mind you I hear the upper class absolutely YEARN for frozen puddle parties in sub zero climates.

OP you make me chuckle. Amanda is a twat and children’s parties are a minefield of fuckwittery and entitlement. I’m so pleased I’ve said goodbye to that phase. Speaking as a teacher I would rather teach my ‘lively’ Year 9 class on a rainy windy afternoon than be at yet another village hall trying to hold my shit together whilst children and parents alike try my last nerve.

Having said that when my son was 3 we turned up a day early a party. I was mortified! Still it was only down the road and we laugh about it now.

In a flakey moment a few years ago we went to the wrong trampoline park for a party. I was standing in the public part wondering where the hell everyone was. The right one was a 20 minute drive away and DS was NOT happy with me

Spare party bags, if you can be bothered is one thing, but ones that cost £12 and are personalised absolutely not.
This is on the Mum who couldn’t be arsed to rsvp. Her son is upset and that’s entirely on her, had she bothered to reply he’d have had a party bag - and pizza would have been already ordered.
instead she rocks up, announces he’s vegan, with no apology for lack of response and has the gall to message afterwards and complain about a party bag - that her son didn’t get only BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T BOTHER TO RSVP. Why can’t she take responsibility & if the party bag has been such an issue, she could have bought him a magic kit or something. This is her fault, and up to her to fix

She’s beyond entitled. I’d definitely be ignoring any more messages from her.

To be fair to the dad, he sounds more polite (if suffering from god delusions) than his wife.

My son is 2 and one of his recent nursery birthday parties he went to was at a forest school type place which was practically an expensive frozen puddle party. It also included painting wooden logs with water. To be fair, DS loved it and spent 99% of the time painting logs with water.

It was freezing!