I don’t want ex partner around my kids

[charco]

She is just not a nice person and has no respect for me and thinks she can talk to me however she likes my ex and her go behind my back to tell my kids things I don’t want them to know like that my daughter can get thrush if she put soap inside when she is washing herself and I just don’t think it’s on. She stood with my son at his graduation when it should have been me just taking things away from me. I have told him if he wants to see the kids he can see them at mine or take them to his dad’s I don’t want them near nasty people. My little boy calls her stepmum and no one tells him to stop she’s not even married to their dad so she is no stepmum she won’t even look after them when I need her to why get with someone who has kids if you won’t take them on? She has taken so much from me like family days out and family holidays I have to miss out seeing my kids doing fun things because she not comfortable me and my ex taking them away for a week is so stupid and my ex saying if their baby died it would be my fault because I wouldn’t keep the kids on his weekend when they had chicken pox it’s called being a dad

This one is literally so stupid it has to be a wind up.

It not possible to be so unaware so its clearly a purposeful joke.

Does your new boyfriend look after his own children? How many has he got?

I think the point is, do you expect your ex's new partner to do more for his and your children than you expect from your own new partner.

I think OP has well and truly jumped the shark 🦈 now 😂

Essentially you are jealous of the fact your ex has moved on with someone else and had another child. Whilst he was single and happy to accompany you with the children on days out/holidays, there was hope in your mind that you may reconcile. Meeting someone else and having a child with her, has ended that fantasy and now reality has well and truly set in. The children are not just yours, they are also your ex partner's too. You cannot dictate to him who spends time with the children, on his days/weekend. You also can't dictate where he sees the children either. Dragging your children into your childish and immature games, and dressing it up as trying to 'protect' the children is bloody awful. You aren't 'protecting' them, you are trying to make them dislike your exes partner because you're jealous of her. You're using your children as weapons against your ex, out of jealousy and spite. Your exes partner has called you out on your jealous behaviour, and you don't like it. You want your ex to be a family with you and your children and not his partner and child. You need to move on and accept your relationship with your ex is over. He has put boundaries in place as he should.

Oh God, please tell me you didn't? That is nasty and just plain wrong. As for helping? You said you have moved on and have a new partner and a baby, so why can't he step up/step in when you're stuck if your ex cant. I would suggest counselling or therapy, to help you to move on and deal with whatever is triggering the bitterness. And please stop weaponising your children against this woman. If your ex isn't stepping up, its his fault, not hers.

Showing your baby that women should wave their partners off on days out and holidays with the ex and your son that new partners can be treated like unpaid childcare to please an ex who wants some time to themselves, expecting the step mum to take a train to do a school run .....it's you who are expecting her to step into a role....your skivvy

So your children’s step-father gets off scot-free but the step-mother has to step up, eh?

How much does the step-father do?

I don't see any evidence of nasty behaviour, other than OP's assertion it exists.

What she has described it someone who looks after the DC, including when ill (and including when OP sends them with CP to a household where someone is potentially clinically vulnerable)and who attends some of the child's events, intervening to calm the child only when no-one else is doing so.

If XH/XP cannot provide drop-of-a-hat emergency childcare, that is something to be taken up with him; it's not up to the new partner.

As she is the mother of your DC's half-sibling, then she is a stepmother, and will have a connection to them for life.

Of course your ex is not your taxi service, nor companion for days out and holidays.

You need to stop being the nasty one (look how horrible you've been about her) and also learn how to drive, or if you're medically barred, get your new DP driving.

You can't even see your double standards ....why did you need help on your days...work, illness, hospital? Your new partner and his new partner are equivalent...would you help her if she had something important to do?
Totally unreasonable....I can see why you're the ex.

I am assuming this is a reverse as surely no-one is this vile.

No, you cannot stop your children from spending time with their father and his partner just because you don't like her.

No, it is not her job to babysit the children for you.

Yes, it is completely unreasonable to expect to go on family holidays with your ex when he's in a relationship with someone else.

As for the thrush thing, thank goodness their stepmum is looking out for their health as you obviously aren't.

I hope he manages to get those kids away from you before you do any more damage.

This right here is you being abusive to your children. Keep that up and you'll end up losing them.

So, he actually has them for 7 days out of every 2 weeks, but only has 2 overnights, meaning you get 6/7 of the maintenance for half of the work, and you're still complaining that you "don't get a break". 😂

How about you parent your kids on your time instead of expecting your ex's partner to have them?

She doesn’t have to. Your child, your responsibility.

You have little choice but to suck it the fuck up.

A court would be more concerned with why you sent them sick.

It’s not abusive to put a sick child to bed.

This can easily be solved by having a chat with your ex-partner. Don't get angry about it, just tell him what you've observed, how that affected you/your children, and what can be done to improve things.

You also need to assert yourself. For example, it she was in the way at your DC's nursery graduation, then say "excuse me, I'd like to stand next to my son".

Try not to point so many fingers, or nobody will take notice of your reasons for being upset.

It was fine then, it's not now - it's certainly not the norm, surely you can see that?

If you don't want your kids around nasty people, I suggest they move in with their dad! You're sounding more and more awful with each post.

ah that old chestnut.. alienate the children against her, tell lies, make up stories.. just admit it, she's a better parent than you are and you don't like it.

OP you are sabotaging what looks like a good arrangement. Your exs partner was happy to do half term and also the kids get to stay overnight with their dad also giving you a break on a regular basis. If you start saying they can't be around her then you will lose that. I know the daily school run is a trial but we all juggle that daily - your anger needs to be focused elsewhere.

Look at it as playing nice to get what you want. If you are not happy with the current contact arrangements and want your ex to take on more school runs then you need to speak to him - or go to court.

Don't poison your kids agains your exs new partner. It's not fair on the kids being used like that. They love mummy and they love daddy, they don't understand the ins and outs of adult relationships. You will look better on all sides by being approachable and friendly with everyone.

Better parent lol she been a mum for 5 minutes and thinks she knows best

She doesn’t need to know about thrush she is 5 years old

I do think this seems to probably be a tall tale, but to be fair I’ve worked in the family courts for nearly a decade and nothing would actually surprise me now.

OP if on the off chance this is real, I really advise you to avoid the courts…

A 5 year old can get thrush.

What? You can get thrush at any age. It's YOUR JOB to teach your child to take care of their body. Most caring parents teach children how to look after their private parts, including not putting soap on them and especially not IN them, and explain what can happen if you do that. You haven't done it, so someone else has, and thank goodness for that.