Page 2 | I don’t want ex partner around my kids

InterIgnis · 15/01/2025 15:04

charco · 15/01/2025 15:01

His nursery graduation he kept running off and she got him and stood at the front with him when I should be at the front with him I’m his mum. Im not jealous she is nothing to be jealous of I have moved on and have my own partner and our daughter now to I am just not happy with how she thinks she can talk to me . My ex is always saying he can’t just take time off work with. click of his fingers so if she wants to be step mum she can step up and have the kids when he can’t and I need the help I m the one doing all the school meetings for my son not him and not her so she can watch them when he cant don’t think that’s wrong of me to ask if her . They make my kids stay in their room when they ill so there precious baby doessnt catch it its a joke or ask if I want to keep hold of them on his day because there baby is poorly and they don’t want the kids to catch it why not stick your baby in bed like you do to my kids

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Well no, she doesn’t have to ‘step up’ at all. A stepparent isn’t a parent, and you needing help does not oblige her to provide it. Your children are not her responsibility.

Immo8 · 15/01/2025 15:05

Can you please add some punctuation because it's just a nightmare to try and read.

BeMellowOchreZebra · 15/01/2025 15:06

Your post is really badly written and difficult to understand.

Are you talking about the partner of your ex? (your ex being the father of your children)

They are his children too and it's up to him who he allows near them, not you.

This sounds VERY petty.

If she isn't comfortable with her partner going on holiday with you then that's life.

How old are the kids?? graduation means adults yes?

purplecorkheart · 15/01/2025 15:06

He is your ex and he has set up boundaries. This is quite normal and probably would have happened regardless of who he got into a relationship with.

They are his children too. You cannot dictate where he sees his children or who they meet with him.

She is not stopping you on going on days out etc. You can go on your own with the children. Just because you do not drive does not mean you cannot go on days out.

To be fair the majority of people don't go on holidays with their ex

She is not your personal on call babysitter, it is up to you to arrange a babysitter when you are meant to have your children.

The thrush things is correct and is good advice. The nursery thing why did you not stand with your son. She sounds interested and involved with your children.

I am going to be cruel op but you sound very childish and willing to use your children as weapons because you haven't moved on. You need to grow up

Sirzy · 15/01/2025 15:08

So you don’t want her to be part of his life but at the same time you expect her to be your on call childcare? Do you not see how daft that sounds.

nothing you have posted suggest anything she has done wrong. It just screams of you being jealous.

Snoken · 15/01/2025 15:08

Why is it your ex's partners responsibility to look after your kids anymore than your own partner? If your ex needed someone to look after your kids when it's his time with them would he automatically assume your partner should take them on? Most likely not even though he's the dad of his children's half sibling.

wordler · 15/01/2025 15:08

Well if your son kept running off at his graduation why didn’t you go and get him and make him stand at the front?

EmmaMaria · 15/01/2025 15:09

I'm sorry OP, but you sound like a nightmare. You are no longer with your ex but you expect him to be runninga round after you, going on holiday, taking you for days out - in her shoes I would also have come down on that. And it was massively irresponsible of you to expect him to take the children when they had chickenpox and there is a baby in the house.

You sound rather nasty and overly jealous. You need to move on. From your own words, you come across as controlling, self-centred and unreasonable.

DollopOfFun · 15/01/2025 15:10

I need the help I m the one doing all the school meetings for my son not him and not her so she can watch them when he cant don’t think that’s wrong of me to ask if her

That sounds like you DO want her around your kids though?
You don't have to like the woman, but for the sake of all the children involved, you and your ex need to co parent properly. And that sometimes involves sucking stuff up.

mollymazda · 15/01/2025 15:10

charco · 15/01/2025 15:01

His nursery graduation he kept running off and she got him and stood at the front with him when I should be at the front with him I’m his mum. Im not jealous she is nothing to be jealous of I have moved on and have my own partner and our daughter now to I am just not happy with how she thinks she can talk to me . My ex is always saying he can’t just take time off work with. click of his fingers so if she wants to be step mum she can step up and have the kids when he can’t and I need the help I m the one doing all the school meetings for my son not him and not her so she can watch them when he cant don’t think that’s wrong of me to ask if her . They make my kids stay in their room when they ill so there precious baby doessnt catch it its a joke or ask if I want to keep hold of them on his day because there baby is poorly and they don’t want the kids to catch it why not stick your baby in bed like you do to my kids

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oh my god! a nursery graduation? are you kidding me?

she absolutely does not have to 'step up'. what a load of rubbish that is, she's your ex's partner! she owe's you nothing! if that's the case, why is your partner not 'stepping up?', why is he not taking care of your kids when you can't?

to be honest, they sound like caring people. they suggest your children stay with you when the baby is ill sounds sensible, and why do you send your children too their dads when they are ill?

i think i can understand why she has an issue with you to be honest. so far you have not raised anything that has made me think 'oh yeah thats not right'.

Rickrolypoly · 15/01/2025 15:10

So you want her to step up and mind your kids for you to give you a break but you always want her nowhere near your kids? Are you ok?

It sounds like you are an absolute nightmare and she is not afraid to put boundaries in place and speak back to you and you just don't like that do you?

Also, go away with your own partner or are you expecting your ex to take you all away for the weekend? Crazy

Choccyscofffy · 15/01/2025 15:10

she is no stepmum she won’t even look after them when I need her to why get with someone who has kids if you won’t take them on?

It’s not her job to be a babysitter.

my ex saying if their baby died it would be my fault because I wouldn’t keep the kids on his weekend when they had chicken pox it’s called being a dad

Chicken pox is dangerous for pregnant women, which you know. You wouldn’t have your kids in an emergency but expect her to babysit yours?

I said to her was she can’t step up if she’s so called stepmum

She’s a step-mum, not your nanny.

have moved on and have my own partner and our daughter now to I am just not happy with how she thinks she can talk to me .

If you have your own partner and daughter, why do you want to go away for a week with your ex and the kids?

lazyarse123 · 15/01/2025 15:13

You need to get over the fact that she is in your kids lives.
If you were at this "graduation" why didn't you step up.
As for sending kids with chicken pox to a pregnant woman that actually is vile.
He's not responsible for taking you on days out because you don't drive. You have a new partner, he can take you.

IButtleSir · 15/01/2025 15:13

I can only understand about 20% of what you are writing, but that 20% definitely makes you sound more unreasonable than her.

mollymazda · 15/01/2025 15:14

lazyarse123 · 15/01/2025 15:13

You need to get over the fact that she is in your kids lives.
If you were at this "graduation" why didn't you step up.
As for sending kids with chicken pox to a pregnant woman that actually is vile.
He's not responsible for taking you on days out because you don't drive. You have a new partner, he can take you.

hang on did i miss something? the OP sent her children to her ex's when they had chickenpos and ex's partner was pregnant? all under the guise of 'thats whats called being a dad'

what kind of nasty vile person does that? thats horrific

FuckedOverByBuilder · 15/01/2025 15:18

she sits there calling me narcissist

Sorry but you do sound like a narcissist... this is all about what you want and what you need and how you're affected by him putting what reads as very healthy boundaries in place

Turnups · 15/01/2025 15:18

charco · 15/01/2025 14:44

I don’t drive and he was ok do it before she came along and told him not to

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You should be blaming him, then, not her.

Choccyscofffy · 15/01/2025 15:20

charco · 15/01/2025 14:44

I don’t drive and he was ok do it before she came along and told him not to

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Does your current partner not drive?

lazyarse123 · 15/01/2025 15:21

@mollymazda this bit my ex saying if their baby died it would be my fault because I wouldn’t keep the kids on his weekend when they had chicken pox it’s called being a dad.
Op sounds terrible.

Starlight1984 · 15/01/2025 15:22

How on earth has anyone managed to make sense of this enough to give advice?!

Original poster

charco · 15/01/2025 15:24

Choccyscofffy · 15/01/2025 15:20

Does your current partner not drive?

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He did and we do things on my weekend with kids but I was saying what she has taken from me since she got with my ex. I don’t want to go on holiday with him anymore but because of her he said we couldn’t take the kids away because she’s not comfortable with it when they first got together 2 years ago a lot has happened since then and I want nothing to do with either of them anymore they’re both horrible people saying I wish death on his family and twisting my words. I ask for help and never get it they are both part timers

OP posts:

mollymazda · 15/01/2025 15:24

lazyarse123 · 15/01/2025 15:21

@mollymazda this bit my ex saying if their baby died it would be my fault because I wouldn’t keep the kids on his weekend when they had chicken pox it’s called being a dad.
Op sounds terrible.

i have no words! what kind of mother a) sends her poorly kids to their dads, and b) knows they have a condition which could actually seriously harm a baby, yet sends them anyway!

Original poster

charco · 15/01/2025 15:26

lazyarse123 · 15/01/2025 15:21

@mollymazda this bit my ex saying if their baby died it would be my fault because I wouldn’t keep the kids on his weekend when they had chicken pox it’s called being a dad.
Op sounds terrible.

How is it terrible to want a break they are with me every day I get every other weekend because he won’t have the kids over night in the week because he has to work and she won’t get a train to take the kids to school so I am dealing with everything. If they ill on his day it’s for him to deal with not me

OP posts:

Original poster

charco · 15/01/2025 15:29

She has them in half term when he works and I am grateful for that and she kept hold of my son when he had a sickness bug so that my youngest daughter didn’t catch it and I am thankful for it but I just think if I need the help and my ex cant because of work she can help can she not since she wants to be there stepmum and get with someone who has kids already she can take them on? Doesn’t matter anymore anyway because after the things she has said to me and the way she speaks to me I don’t want her help or my kids near her

OP posts:

mollymazda · 15/01/2025 15:29

you have a partner! you also have another child, a daughter? what do you do with her when you need your break?

you actually sound vile! your poor children, you're not the poster from the other night who was complaining that SS would not babysit for you are you?