I don’t want ex partner around my kids

[charco]

She is just not a nice person and has no respect for me and thinks she can talk to me however she likes my ex and her go behind my back to tell my kids things I don’t want them to know like that my daughter can get thrush if she put soap inside when she is washing herself and I just don’t think it’s on. She stood with my son at his graduation when it should have been me just taking things away from me. I have told him if he wants to see the kids he can see them at mine or take them to his dad’s I don’t want them near nasty people. My little boy calls her stepmum and no one tells him to stop she’s not even married to their dad so she is no stepmum she won’t even look after them when I need her to why get with someone who has kids if you won’t take them on? She has taken so much from me like family days out and family holidays I have to miss out seeing my kids doing fun things because she not comfortable me and my ex taking them away for a week is so stupid and my ex saying if their baby died it would be my fault because I wouldn’t keep the kids on his weekend when they had chicken pox it’s called being a dad

How am I abusive

...the issue is his girlfriend thinking she better than me...

You clearly aren't getting the message her (although I am beginning to wonder if @Starlight1984 isn't correct)... we pretty much agree with her!

Surely you can see if your children arrive at their Dad’s ill with say, a tummy bug or flu and there’s a baby in the house, it’s a normal reaction to keep them separated and if they’re ill enough, bed is the best place for them. Perhaps suggest to your ex that when they are in bed with an illness a tv or laptop could be put in their room for entertainment ?

Read your posts. They are a pretty good indicator.

@charco the more of your posts I read the worse you're coming across.

Sounds like their dad sees them for a significant number of days in the month and is an involved parent.

It also sounds like his partner has stepped in for childcare fairly often but your main gripe is that she doesn't do it every time you click your fingers.

Sick children often stay in bed. I know mine do when they're unwell, but you somehow consider this abusive? Catch a grip.

Your ex has every right to stop going on "family" days out with you because you're no longer his family. You're the mother of his children. His obligation is to them not to you.

On the whole, you genuinely just sound childish and controlling. I can see why there are tensions in the co parenting relationship.

So you think he's abusive to your kids but you're happy to send them to him when you want a break.

I genuinely can't work out if this is real as surely no one can be this lacking in self awareness?

No, putting the kids to bed when they're ill to rest isn't child abuse OP, my god!

Keeping a sick kid in bed is not abuse, it's making sure the rest of the household doesn't get sick

She should not be responsible for your son, that should be your ex being responsible

End of the day my children will see her for what she is I told them I don’t like her because she’s not nice to there mummy so time will show them I was right

Op can’t be real. I think this is the shark being jumped…

It wasnt an obligation it was showing my kids that parents can get on if they not together still. Showing my son how to treat women and my daughter how she should be treated

Wow. What great parenting 👏

You did what??

whatever your feelings good parenting is putting on a smile and not dragging children into your feelings!

Don’t see how I am wrong for wanting to protect my kids from nasty people and not having people who don’t benefit there lives around them

Wow, you just keep on giving. Hope you've some money set aside to pay for your kids therapy later on.

You're right, I think they will indeed see her for what she is - and they'll equally see you for what you are.

You want her to step up but not because you don't want her around your kids?
But yet you expected her to drive you around?
Want you want is to have it all on your terms.
Telling your ex he can only see them at your house etc is just going to hurt the children, you cannot use them to get at him and his partner.
You need to grow up for the sake of your children.

If she's that nasty then why do you go on about how she should be looking after them to give you a break?

so she can watch them when he cant don’t think that’s wrong of me to ask

You very clearly are jealous. I'm not surprised she doesn't like you. It's a long time since I've read a post so entitled. She owes you nothing.

Op it would be massively helpful if you could use punctuation. Your posts are incredibly difficult to follow.

I'm team step mum here.

You do realise that this is called alienation, and is potentially grounds for your ex to challenge you for custody. Alienation is consdiered to be something that unfit parents do. You are going out of your way to poison your children against your ex and his family.

You sound completely unhinged.

Almost all of your criticisms are unreasonable.

Your poor children. You are setting them up for enormous problems.

So because she wouldn't have your kids when you wanted she's nasty etc? It's the dad's job to help not hers...was it on dad's time or yours?
You have family days and holidays without ex and his partner, they have the same without you. .....you are not with your ex anymore and have no hold on his time.

Your kids need protecting from you.