How common was EOW in the early 90s?

[boltt]

We used to stay at our dad's house EOW.

Picked up at 18:00 on Friday, and would leave his after Sunday lunch around 16:00. 45 min journey each way.

It's hardly a lot of time is it. Wondering how common this arrangement really was back then.

I actually think it's best, plus half holidays.

My dad didn't stick to it, I went months without seeing him and he didn't even have a bed for me. So my situation wasn't good.

But I think EOW, with their own room, or space in a shared room with their own bed, wardrobe with clothes. Is the best.

5050 is not fair on the kids. It's fair on the parents. I have been in a situation where I was split between two houses, as an adult, in control of the situation. But it was so unsettling. You need a home, yes you need to see both parents but you need a stable home and stable consistent life.

Thanks, I really appreciate this. I’m reading so much up on it, to try and gauge what’s best. I think willing, compromise, don’t be stubborn and always put them first and hopefully it will be the best of a shitty situation,

Yep, half holidays is what I’d want too. I must admit 50/50 seems disruptive to me on the face of it, even with parents living close together. But I don’t have experience of it.

I have court ordered 50:50 and my kids hate it. They don't like not having one base and they don't like not seeing their mum for 5 days at a time, which is a long time when you're young.

Courts do things that you would never be expected to do as an adult, ie would you like to move back and fourth to a different house 5 days then 2 days then 5 days then 2 days and so on and so on effectively forever?

Would you like to forever be stressing about whether you've forgotten something and left it at the other house, whether it be toys, the homework / library book you were meant to have handed in, the sports kit etc etc?

Would you like to have two completely different routines and set of expectations depending on which house you're in?

Would you have liked to have spent 5 days at a time away from the parent who did 99% of your care before your parents seperated and instead spend 5 days with the parent who preferred having affairs to seeing his children and now you have 50% of time with him and someone else's mum, who would rather you weren't there?

And yes it massively reduced the maintenance he pays as well as ensured that he got a bigger share of the family estate than if he had reduced custody.

My parents separated in the early 1990s. We used to go to my dad’s house from around 2pm on Saturday to after dinner on Sunday, roughly every 3 weekends in 4. There was not a formal EOW agreement.

As far as I remember we sometimes saw my dad one evening a week for the first year at least and during the school holidays.

I think pretty much all of my friends whose parents were separated did EOW back then, but then most of the mums where we were didn't work either, so it was seen as more practical, I suppose (not that I think that makes it right).

My parents divorced in the late 80’s.

Me and my sister lived with our mom, we spent 3 consecutive weekends with our dad and then the fourth weekend was spent with our mom.

Our mom would take us to his house every Saturday morning and he’d drive us home on the Sunday evening.

It’s weird reading these, some think any dad who doesn’t do 50/50 is lazy. Then others say 50/50 isn’t good for the kids, and I’ve seen this a lot.

I think my stance is EOW, 1 midweek and be as available as possible outside of that on a natural and progressive way.

Gosh EOW in the early 90s seems a lot and very enlightened for the time. After my parents split in 1993 my sister and I saw my dad maybe one day at a weekend every fortnight. Certainly never stayed over at his house. He basically took us for a day out twice a month. I wouldn’t have wanted to see him EOW to be honest - would’ve been bored just hanging round his house.