To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

I don't drive. I live in a city, so I use public transport a lot. I get taxis the odd time, and that's cheaper than running a car. There's no reason for me to drive.

I dont know why you'd find it shocking. Plenty of people don't drive and for many reasons.

If only we were all as perfect as you OP. I don't drive for medical reasons plenty of people can't afford to, don't want to or are thinking of the environment and the horrendous impact that cars have. Stop being so judgmental

I don't drive, never ask anyone for favours (not car-related, anyway!) and have never felt it has had a negative impact on my life.

I 'learnt' to drive at 24 because I was planning to do supply teaching for a bit, failed my test, then got a permanent job in a school within walking distance so never bothered to book another test. I live very near a train station and am happy to walk long distances to get to where I need to be.

Doesn’t it just depend a lot on where you live? I grew up in London, so didn’t need to drive as public transport is good. Then moved out for uni to a small town where no one kept a car. Lived in a different city which had decent public transport, and now live in London again. Sometimes it would be useful to drive but I can always take an Uber if needed. So there is no real need to drive. My DH drives and does do some driving for DC when needed, but could very well take public transport if we didn’t have a car. It’s slower but fine - and better for the environment.

I wouldn’t say it’s surprising. I’m 33 and don’t drive, I’ve lived in a city with good transport. I recognise some things would easier if I did drive but I don’t dwell on it since 1) couldn’t afford lessons right now 2) even I could, definitely couldn’t afford a car.

When I was 17 every penny I had went towards paying my parents some rent and going to every music concert possible. As I got older I travelled across Europe, saw some extraordinary live music and made friends for life. I wouldn’t change that just for the ability to drive.

edit to add: similarly to user above said, my DH drives and will take our DD and I when needed but if not we have public transport

I started learning at 19, stopped because I preferred going out with my friends, then picked it up again at 31 when DS came along.

Until that point not driving hadn't been a problem. I lived close to work and public transport round here is half decent.

With a baby and all the related paraphernalia it made things a lot easier to get out and about. As he's grown up it's made it easier to do school runs and take him to different activities so it has made a difference.

@SushiGo My Stepdad has a driving licence but hasn't driven a car for over 30 years. Do you really think having a driving licence would be helpful on his CV? Would you put him behind the wheel of a company car?

Well, I’m ‘constantly surprised’ so many Mners don’t have any friends, but I don’t start threads about how surprised I am, or how I think being someone who has the skills to arrive somewhere new and make friends is a natural, normal part of adult independence.

I thought you could drive when colourblind? My uncle is colour blind and he’s been driving since the 1960s. I know there’s different types though so maybe it depends on that.

To be fair I've never driven and never wanted to. There are far too many cars on the road and car share or public transport is the way forward.
The planet won't be surviving for generations to come and the wildlife already are suffering due to the pollution.
Trains busses are wonderful journeys . Plus you don't come across idiots on the road.
Ref dropping things you buy of to an address or tip runs. You can always say no but most people offer fuel.

I agree, OP. Other than people who don't drive for medical reasons (I'm disabled myself), I just don't understand why people haven't learned. I hate public transport, and I want a car here in case of emergency. Especially now I have children! I cannot imagine having children and being in a situation where I need to go somewhere in an emergency and having to wait for taxis, or catch a bus or train. Madness.

I came from a very low income family and there was no way my parents could have afforded lessons or a car. So I got a job at 15, worked my arse off while doing my A Levels at the same time, paid for my own lessons and car, and that was that.

People who constantly ask for lifts do my head in. Just, no. Even worse are the ones who whine about not being able to drive because they "Caaan't dooo it!" (again, medical reasons not included). It's steering a wheel and pushing your foot down. It's not exactly rocket science. It's embarrassing.

I'd say you're very easily surprised. I only know handful of people in real life that don't dive and they all have valid reasons for not being able to.

It is insanely expensive not just the lessons but insurance too. You are incredibly lucky if your parents can afford to pay for lessons. Insurance and the tests, let alone getting your own car.

The two people I know who can’t drive would desperately love too but can’t because of a medical condition. You may not realise this on meeting them. Neither ask for lifts and are independent in every other sense.
Driving is a privilege and I feel very lucky to have a car. It’s also very expensive to both learn and run a car. Maybe just appreciate that you are one of the very lucky ones.

Not everyone has the money, confidence, spatial awareness or need. If you live and work in a place with good public transport it’s ridiculous to learn to drive and buy a car just for the sake of the very infrequent occasions when it might be handy.

They could probably get that confidence and skill back if they worked at it.

My friend passed on her 4th attempt, and hated it. She wasn’t a natural driver as such but she worked in finance and was basically able to throw lots of money at the problem of her being a nervous driver and struggling to learn in her 20s.

Again this is where cost is relevant - not everyone would have been able to afford to spend thousands on driving lessons in their 20s while living in an expensive city.

Anyway she passed around age 26 and then didn’t drive again for about 10-12 years (she’s London based) when she had her first child.

She then took about 5-10 hours of refresher lessons with an instructor and chose to drive automatic too this time around, since that’s the car her partner had anyway. She absolutely loves driving now!

@TickingAlongNicely colour blindness doesn't prohibit you from driving. 1 in 10 men are colourblind, including one of my sons. Why do you think you can't drive if you're colourblind?

Most of my friends grew up in London and had absolutely no need to drive.

I learned when I was younger but then could never afford a car - so my lessons were useless, by the time I could afford a car I'd forgotten how to drive.

I have a car now and barely use it, I'll still choose to walk or take the train when I can. I find people who don't live rurally but drive everywhere and rely on their cars so much kind of sad.

I was far too nervous to learn to drive when young, then lived in a big city for nigh on 20 years so driving wasn't necessary, then moved away and met a guy who drives and I was still too nervous to learn, developed health disabilities and can't now anyway. It is what it is, not everyone is suited to driving, or is able to do so.

I know, OP, it's shocking. I mean, I'd heard that poor and disabled people exist but I didn't actually believe that they were real. 🙄

Ouch.

And what have you done about it since you’ve been an adult..? Or do you still blame your parents?

OP, not RTWT but loads of my daughter’s friends are not learning to drive at 17 because both lessons and running a car are expensive and we live in a city with excellent public transport.

I was 2 weeks from my test when I had my first seizure and 27 weeks pregnant - which annoyingly have been roughly every 10 months ever since so every time I get close I’m back at square one. From the outside it looks like I haven’t bothered, but I spend most of my life I spend the time pratting about on the bus with 2 small children having moved house for better buses. I don’t ask strangers for favours, or my friends really - but will accept if offered.
‘I avoid people who don’t drive is a bit sad to hear if you don’t bother to find out the reason’ - it might not be a life choice!

I don’t drive, wasn’t something we could afford when I was younger, then some medical issues meant I couldn’t for a while and by the time I could again I had other things to prioritise my money on. Now in my 40s I probably could afford lessons but really don’t see the need. I’m self-sufficient and walk/cycle/bus where I need to go (I live in a Norfolk village), with taxis if I’m stuck. I don’t ask for lifts and very rarely accept them when offered which I find can baffle drivers at times.

‘Worthy investment’ or not, if the money isn’t there it isn’t there 🤷‍♀️

Driving is a skill like any other. Some are good at it/pick it up quickly and others don't. Some people work and still can't afford to learn to drive. What's embarrassing is how narrow minded you are.