To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

I learned and passed in my late 20s when I could pay for it myself. Very few people I knew were financed by their parents. They learned later when they were adults with their own jobs.

I would like to say , that I can’t drive, it I never ask people for lifts .

You’ve nailed the problem here- people not driving and repeatedly asking for lifts. There are good reasons for not owning a car including environmental ones, but constantly asking for lifts is annoying. Better public transport would go a long way to solving this and there are private companies who will take stuff to the dump etc. I can’t drive for medical reasons and avoid asking for lifts unless it’s essential . I will only live in places that have reasonable public transport.

I'm constantly surprised that people don't walk more, but that's just me I suppose. Only on Mumsnet is driving some sort of badge of honour.

I think the poster knows more about their parent’s situation than you do so wind your neck in.

You should be shocked in a positive way actually OP. Just think of all these people off setting the harm caused by those who jump into cars when they could easily walk. Also fewer drivers make the experience safer and less stressful for those who insist upon it, or who feel they have no choice. If all the non drivers suddenly started driving I guarantee your experience as a driver would not improve. So probably in your own interest to live and let live.

I can’t do it, and I have four degrees. I’m fine with rocket science and I write award-winning books in my research field, I just don’t have the coordination and spatial awareness to drive, and it’s not for want of trying.

We have licensed but no car (zone 3 London)

We occasionally hire cars for things or may ask if anyone is doing a tip run -as it's £40 for a council pick up so you may as well share cost with others and taxis to the tip seems a bit odd (but I have done once)

I agree I always find it surprising when people mention it so casually among other things on posts. I’ve got 3 young kids bla bla this issue bla bla and can’t drive? It would make OPs life infinitely easier

I don’t drive. I learned, was involved in a bad accident that prevented me taking my test, then moved out of home to London and couldn’t afford it. Can’t afford it now with the cost of living. I use public transport, walk as much as possible and my DH drives.

That's not a given at all. I don't think my parents paid a penny towards driving lessons but my mum did take me on lots of practice drives. I got a Saturday job. Back then, one day's work was one driving lesson. I wanted my freedom.

Completely agree about being surprised why people won’t learn. But for clarity l didn’t learn at 17, had to pay for it myself in early 20’s and zero chance of being allowed to drive parents car.

It’s fine if people don’t want to learn or live in a city where it’s not needed. Not fine to expect other people to drive them around. All of my close family now can’t drive or won’t drive but expect to be driven. That’s a no, couldn’t even fit them in my car if l wanted to -child car sets which l have 2 of take up lots of room. Conversely l have a friend who can’t drive and she’s very independent with e.g. gets taxis or trains, walks etc

Meh, it makes no odds to me if others can’t drive.
I do know one person like that but they get trains and taxis. If they wanted me to help them due to them not being a driver I’d just say no.

Have you tried with a few different instructors? Might be a difference in teaching style thing?

My children are nearly 17 and 20. We tried lessons for the eldest - 6m wait list for them, 45-60/hr depending on the instructor. They have to do the theory test in advance of being able to book a test, but it expires within one year of sitting, and in many areas the wait time for a lesson in your own area is 6-8m (and again to do a resit) so they often have to resit the theory test if they don’t pass the practical first time. I think the barrier to all this is cost of lessons, lack of instructors (inflated lesson costs) and lack of test slots. And that’s before the insurance costs for any new driver, let alone one under 25. Oh, and the cost of the car/maintenance/fuel.

It's all by design OP.

By making driving too expensive the government can effectively "ban" it without actually saying it. An entire generation has never learned and will have much smaller lives as a result. The current driving test is designed to fail as many people as possible through arbitrary "faults" that have nothing to do with driving safely. And as for the pointless theory test, that should be scrapped, it's just another hoop to jump through to discourage people from getting a licence.

Non drivers asking for lifts are such a pain. They never pay and have no appreciation for the expense.

DFIL passed his test in the 80s, and is now in his 80s himself, so honestly I doubt it. DSIL passed her test over twenty five years ago, so again while she possibly could learn again, I don’t think she has much muscle memory from a one week long intensive driving course last century when she hasn’t been in a car since. She’d be starting again pretty much from scratch.

For both of them, it was pretty pointless learning.

I'm constantly surprised how many people see driving as a non negotiable and are astonished that people live without driving... it must be really difficult to not have the ability to think for 5 minutes about reasons why people might not have learned, or choose not to, or situations and lives people have led where they just don't need a car. Thoughts go out to all of you afflicted by this terrible short sightedness disease. It must be really hard to have friends or be a parent when you simply can't envision a life that isn't yours.

Honestly, it's like coming onto a thread and going 'I don't understand why people don't just move somewhere sunnier if they don't like the cold' - really? Its totally impossible for you to sit and think of ANY scenario in which that might not be possible or what someone would want?

Why is there another thread about people who don’t drive? Wasn’t there another one or two a few days ago?

Good post

I think it depends. I learnt at 17 but we lived in the sticks with few buses and everything was difficult to get to. Nearly 50 years ago. It helped that my mother and gran drove and there was a farm and I could practice the manoeuvres on private land.

DH was brought up in a Metropolitan City, went to uni in a big city then came to London. His father learnt aged 37 and his mother never as so many women then didn't. His family wouldn't have helped and he was skint until he was turned 30 and didn't need to. He learnt because it was a condition of me getting pg/starting a family.

DS learnt at 17, in lower 6th, and took to it quickly and easily. We bought him an old banger for his 18th which barely got used and which he couldn't take to uni because there was no parking. I occasionally used it and it built up some ncb on the drive.

DD waited until after uni having had a few lessons at 17. She didn't take to it easily and passed third time in an automatic but persevered because her journey to work takes 45 minutes on the bus and 12 minutes by car.

We paid for lessons for both and helped with their first cars. I don't know how people do it when they are budgeting £300 for food a month and can't put the heating on a la MNet.

I can drive but rarely do as I live in London and have access excellent 24 hour public transport, also owning a car here is an expensive burden. I also don't really enjoy driving so am happy to pay other people to do it for me when I need to use a private vehicle (ie cabs, delivery drivers etc..).

Don't worry, I don't upset car drivers by asking for lifts. In fact I hate it when they do insist as often it is more inconvienent for me.

People have different lives.

I’m more surprised by the people on here who angrily demand to know why someone (especially a man) doesn’t drive. It’s not compulsory. I do, but delayed it until I was 30 and could immediately afford to buy a car. Also I was living in London before then so didn’t need to.

Nowadays, parking is such an issue where we live that a lot of short trips are better taken by taxi.

The theory test expires after 2 years, not 1. I do see what you're saying though, I had to wait 6 months for my driving test. Luckily I passed or I'd have been waiting another 6 months!