To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

Do you know how tone deaf this is? There are people who are using food banks, people who are worried about the cost of heating. £60 per week for lessons is completely out of their reach.

No. I'm not sure why you have assumed that individually owning a car is an automatic next step?

Having a driving licence is a huge boost to any person's CV, it allows them to access a much wider variety of jobs, childcare options, education options etc instantly, actually owning a car can come after that.

Why aren't you giving your lad lessons? I was out with my eldest every day, even if it was just driving into town. It doesn't take long for driving skills to become built into your muscle memory. He had a few official lessons before his test and passed first time.

I am doing the same with my youngest lad but he has an automatic and there are very few auto instructors here and all have a long waiting list.

Both are autistic.

It's really not that prohibiting. If you're used to public transport it's pretty easy. I mean sometimes you have to wait a bit or walk a bit.. but it's fine.

I'm dyspraxic with very poor spacial / depth awareness. It was not safe for me to continue driving lessons.

Any more questions / faux naivety OP?

I agree with this. I find it much weirder the number of people who see driving as essential and can't contemplate there are people who are able to use public transport and walk to get where they need to go. Its greener, it's healthier and should be encouraged where possible. I think the shaming and stigma of people who choose not to drive is an old fashioned attitude and based in stereotypes of people always expecting lifts, which may apply to some, but by no means all.

Times have changed then, as at least half of the friends of my early twenties kids don’t drive. And now I think of it, the majority of the non drivers are female. I appreciate that that is a small sample size but I think the cost of lessons are just too prohibitive for many families now

It costs a fortune to learn to drive. I saved for almost ten years to cobble together 1.5k to get DS through lessons at 17. Even then I was gifted money to pay to insure him on my car.

It was sheer luck he took to it so well and the money wasn't wasted. It would have been a pain if it had clashed with Uni or I'd left it until he was older.

I have friends who don’t drive as they’re epileptic. I think, as mentioned above, many people have hidden disabilities.

1 of them lives rurally with a shockingly poor bus service but often needs lifts to hospital appointments 30miles away and the other 3 live in towns which although have bus services are now so rough they feel unsafe to travel by bus.

I think it depends where you live. My db lives close to London and the public transport is fantastic. None of his grown up dc have learnt to drive because they 'don't need to'.

I do think it's a life skill you should have, even if you don't end up owning a car.

When I first moved to the Uk, I was also really shocked at the numbers if people who do not know how to drive.

But it is far more expensive to learn to drive in the UK than where I grew up - where we all learned as a one-term course in secondary school. And there is a much higher failure rate for the driving test itself in the UK, because the test is more comprehensive and standards are higher. And you have to pay again for each test.

Insurance is also more expensive - crazy so for a young person. So are cars.

Public transportation in urban areas and the rail network are much better.

So... I'm not surprised about it anymore.

Maybe they could go on to get a job that involves driving which would then help them save the money for a car🤷

Not everyone lives rurally. I know most on MN do but those of us that live in cities use public transport,.Or shock, horror actually walk.

My eldest is on medication that means she can't drive, I'm glad that some on here would actively avoid her as who would want to be friends with arseholes like that.

It shocks me too, OP.

I have always lived extremely rurally, so before I could drive, I had to walk/cycle everywhere.

I am 23, and it seems there's very few people in my generation with any drive or motivation. Everything is someone else's fault.

To pay for my lessons I was up milking cows for the neighbour at 4.30 before school. In summer I worked picking bales up off of the field. My now husband used to sell logs he'd chopped out of a bike trailer.

The whole culture of the UK has changed and not for the better. Opportunities are there for everyone - most just can't be bothered.

My parents paid for lessons for my brothers and taught them at the same time. They wouldn't do it for me and my sisters. I had to pay for everything I needed after age 14 and had a job in a cafe which didn't cover driving lessons.

Couldn't afford it at uni, then when I left uni my parents left the country and I was on my own and couldn't afford it then either because I was working to pay for rent etc.

Then I lived in London for a long time and didn't need to.
Then I was homeless for some time and couldn't, obviously, afford to.
Learnt in my 30s. Since then I can drive but can't afford the bloody car because getting homeless and all that rather fucks up the earning potential.

When I was 17 I had no money to pay for driving lessons, and my parents wouldn't pay. I could only afford to start lessons when I'd been working for a couple of years. Even then I couldn't afford "a cheap runaround".
Not everyone has parents who will bankroll this.

You can absolutely do this in the UK too. I'm not sure why another PP has suggested you can't!

I learned at 17, passed on the third attempt, drove my parents car pretty badly for about five years when I was home from university, including driving it into a ditch and wedging it between two gateposts. Lived in London for 10 years where there was no need for a car, in fact it was a liability. Moved out of London when children were babies, they used to get very car sick so always sat in the back with them to catch the vomit.

Then lost my confidence, not helped by developing a tremor and anxiety. Recently had refresher lessons but am still a pretty bad driver and much worse than I was because lost confidence. Had to pull over and cry a number of times. When I try to drive people hoot their horn at me. So I don't drive.

OP you seem to think because you find driving easy everybody can do it. You are wrong.

We lived rurally and DS2 didn't want to learn as he was very happy using his bike to go everywhere. I insisted on the grounds that it is a useful skill for jobs etc. plus easier and cheaper to learn whilst still at home.

He's now in his 20s, lives in the centre of a big city and travels everywhere by bike and public transport. He doesn't own a car and probably never will.

DS1 on the other hand is a complete petrol head, owns three cars and works as a car mechanic.

We - and they - are very fortunate in that we could afford for them to have lessons and insure a car for them. A lot of people are not in that position. DS1 would not have got his apprenticeship as a mechanic if he couldn't drive. A lot of career paths and jobs are closed if you don't drive.

So now a few people have explained reasons, I wonder if the OP's (and a couple of others') perpetual shocked Pikachu faces have relaxed yet?

Nope it's the same here my Dad taught me and then I did 3/4 professional lessons to
Prepare for the test.

I'm surprised by how many people now I'm in my mid thirties don't drive. I wouldn't mind but several are very entitled and seem astonished that I don't want to go out of my way to ferry them about!

(All the ones I'm
Referring to are able bodied/able to learn and were in well paid career). One says he just preferred to be driven as it's no responsibility (middle aged man) 🫣

Parents didn't drive and no money to learn. Learnt as an adult as was planning on moving to an area without good public transport. Hadn't needed till then - my 30s. Glad I know how to now and is very useful in this area but had stayed in big cities it would have been fine without.

Exactly. You have to make more of an effort, that's all.