To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

'constantly surprised'. I can just imagine you walking round, like this 😲.

Are your really 'constantly' surprised? if someone says they can't drive, or read about someone you know who can't drive down you actually think 'oh, how surprising'.

It can't keep surprising you surely? The element of surprise MUST have been taken away by now.

I haven’t learnt to drive due to my epilepsy as I have been having occasional seizures despite being medicated which on the whole does control them. Ive now reached the requirements of being seizure free for a license after almost 20years however as I’ve been under a lot of pressure I won’t be getting behind the wheel for at least 6months to be sure as I know the period after extreme stress is one of my at risk points.

I also do live in London so transport is good and therefore getting to and from work isn’t an issue and I live a 5 min walk from Lidl and 10/12 mins from a shopping centre.

Why does it surprise you? Surely you have a brain and can work out why some people don't drive?

There are a whole host of reasons I don't drive.

You can be as "suprised" as you like, it's really none of your business.

Those people are twats, probably in all areas of their lives.

I don't drive for medical reasons and get annoyed when people insist on giving me lifts, I would far rather be as self reliant as possible even if it means everything taking longer.

I've never learnt. I grew up in a city where it was possible to get everywhere by walking or getting the bus, very few of my friends learnt to drive at 17. Then I went to a campus university, where you could only bring a car on campus with a disabled badge. Then I spent my 20s in London, then I moved back to my home town where I can do everything I need via bus.

DH drives, but if he's not around...I can do pretty much anything I need by public transport, including bringing the DC with me.

You must've grown up in quite a bubble of privilege if you didn't realise that there are many number of reasons people won't or can't drive.

My dad couldn't drive due to colour blindness. My mum tried, couldn't get the hang of it... fortunately we lived in London.

Knock on effect... I then didn't learn at 17, since we had no car. I struggled in my 20s. Finally passed after having a baby and faced with DH being away for 7 months (army) at 26.

Even if you are surprised, it's not hard to guess the reasons. Does this mean that, when you see people people asking for a dump run, something to be dropped off or someone at the bus stop
on a miserable morning when you're going the same way as the bus that you'll offer to help?

My parents didn’t have enough money to get me a cheap run around at 17 and lessons, combined with a disability that I would have struggled with being in a car with a stranger for extended times, I ended up learning and passing last year, dh taught me so solving the disability and the money aspect.

driving lessons are expensive, as are cars and insurance, not everyone is ready at 17 for various reasons to be in charge of a giant heavy metal machine

You know a lot of people grow up and live in places where they don't need a car to get around? I live in London and I'm not even sure the majority of my friends can drive - certainly hardly any of them actually do so on a regular basis.

Living in a city you also become very aware of how gross driving is from an environmental perspective. Not just in a macro "killing the planet" way but you see so many drivers with idle engines pumping out fumes and it's just grim for anyone passing by.

Brought up by a single mother who didn't drive. I didn't have a great childhood and have suffered anxiety/depression since I was a teen. Learning now at 43, which I'm sure is absolutely shocking to you. Had to do automatic cause I found manual too overwhelming.

At 17 I had no access to money and my parents would not have been safe to teach me (I watched them get involved in a serious accident while 'teaching' my order sibling)

I did eventually pass my test my test as an adult, but access to cash to fund the lessons was a real barrier for a long time.

You are correct that not being able to drive hugely disadvantages people, and particularly women (outside major cities, somewhere like London, where it probably doesn't matter that much)

If I was in charge of the world we would be giving anyone below the age of 25 living in poverty free driving lessons.

Can you imagine what the roads would be like if every single one of us drove. There's already far too many of us on the roads, struggling for car parking spaces, narrow streets that just weren't built with these huge cars in mind. I say that as a car driver. Yes it does give you more independence but what we do need is better public transport.

THen would you buy them a car and pay the insurance and other costs of owning a car?

I agree OP. But maybe it's just a sign of the times. When I was a late teenager it was just a given that the moment you turned 17 you started driving lessons. No one questioned it.

I'm now in my 60s and I can't think of a single female friend of mine who 'doesn't drive'. Reading about people on here who don't drive is astonishing to me. But I do think life has changed and people will less and less feel the need to learn.

I don't like cars - they make me feel sick - so I get the train wherever possible. It's not a problem for me. I spend about 4 months of the year travelling internationally for work. There are only a few places - rural USA mainly - where not driving is problematic.

Some drivers do this peculiar thing where they can't really understand how to get around without driving? I am often weirdly pressured into lifts by drivers. I mainly wriggle out of it but sometimes it seems impossible - they are so insistent and get offended. It's a strange phenomenon.

Despite my earlier comments, YANBU because I suppose we all have things we've benefitted from and taken for granted that others didn't have.

Ds did most of his learning with dh (uk) he did go with an instructor for a short time to ensure he knew the manoeuvres and was test ready.
We live rurally with a patchy bus service and were lucky that we could afford to have a car for ds and pay for lessons, there were a lot of people that just can’t.
I think driving is a life skill particularly where we live and the majority of people do drive but I can’t bring myself to give a lot of thought to people who don’t drive. There could be a multitude of reasons why they don’t.

My prescription is too high for me to pass the driving sight test. I hth, there are many reasons why people can't drive, you have a very insular mind set.

Similar to OP, I learnt at 17, as did many of my friends, we lived in a rural area and it made life easier all round if you could drive. I now live in a big city, and whilst I think of you can learn, it’s a great skill to have, there’s little incentive for my DC to learn when they are old enough as we have great public transport. Added to that is the huge cost both of lessons and then buying and running a car (particularly insurance). Plus a lot of people drove like maniacs where I live, so again, less incentive.

They'll probably reasons for that too. And they don't need to be reliant. Public transport is available.

I don't drive. I feel the weight of judgment from people like you every day.

I have tried, I must have spent thousands on lessons over the years. I'm terrified, literally terrified, every time I drive. It causes me so much anxiety.

So I've stopped putting myself through it. I don't live in an area with amazing public transport, but I live near the train station so I can commute easily. My husband drives, which helps. I wouldn't ever ask on social media for lifts or favours, I simply accept that I cannot always do things I might want to.

We don't really need a second car and I can walk to work plus the cost of insurance would be pretty high. I also have nystagmus in one eye so not entirely convinced it would be safe for me to drive as it can affect spatial and depth awareness. Plus I am a bit scared of driving seeing the way some drive round here.

I don't, and I don't have any desire to. It's expensive and I don't need to drive. Regarding a tip run, if I ever needed one I'd pay someone to do it but I do not keep clutter and I'm not in the habit of replacing stuff often, if it works I'm keeping it. I haven't needed anything taking to the tip in at least 15 years. When I bought a new washing machine the company took my old one away for me, most companies do that now.

I am single so don't rely on a partner to drive me, I get where I need to using public transport and my legs. When people often waffle about "independence" I think I'm in a far more independent position than a lot of people who do drive, I can cover all my bills by myself and have raised a child completely on my own.