To think our lives are over and we will be judged (disability)

[Plopandflop]

Names changed

I have epilepsy and narcolepsy. I managed to work till about 3 years ago but it all got so bad I had to leave re illness. I managed to do a small part time craft business but I still get ESA as it’s classed as permitted work as I am in the support group. This is all I can do without literally floping. My parents both thing I should give it up completely as I don’t really managed to do much else. I am 44

my husband is a teacher and has always brought in and ok wage and we cope

after struggling for over a year with pain, weakness and memory and having to go part time he has been diagnosed with progressive MS. It’s just a matter of time before work goes completely as he is really struggling now. He is 49

that’s it isn’t it. A life on benefits and a lifetime of being judged. Everyone I see a post on here about sickness benefits or a post on Facebook or the paper I want to throw up. I know some people will say “but we meant those who really can work but don’t but let’s face it we are all thrown in the same category as a burden to the tax payer.

we have a dd who is 12 and I worry for her so much

just feel like life is over.

This is very well put! It’s difficult to express your frustration with the state of the country, the issues with the lives children are being shown as an option, without being called a benefit bashing Tory. I teach some children who will end up being the 3rd and 4th unemployed teen parent generation of their family because despite everything put in place to try to change their circumstances, some cycles are near impossible to break. It’s shattering to go to work and hear a primary age kid say to you “the bank gives you money even if you don’t work” or “my mum doesn’t need a job she gets money to have kids” or “what’s a job?” 😢. All examples that have happened to myself/a colleague.

Then you and your colleague are statistical anomalies @adviceneeded1990. I know that this is an old report. The 2 Child Benefit Cap was brought in in 2017 putting paid to any notions of having children for benefits.

https://www.jrf.org.uk/work/are-cultures-of-worklessness-passed-down-the-generations

I’m not saying it’s happening I’m saying that’s the child’s perspective and how they say things. Probably coming from things that are being said at home such as “I can’t work because I’ve got you to look after,” etc.

Perhaps you'd find your job less shattering if you didn't take the niaive chatterings of school children on their household finances, as serious discourse on the state of the nation @adviceneeded1990 .

The move from ESA to UC has been massively accelerated though (was 2028, now 2025) allowing them to do away with the Severe Disability Premium - there is transitional protection but this is then devalued every year.

I can't see a Labour government doing away with PIP or go on about voucher schemes but I expect to see criteria for new applicants tightened significanty.

I'm sorry, OP, it is really, really hard. I have an injury and several health conditions that have developed in the last couple of years, my SSP has stopped and I am now wholly reliant on UC,LCWRA and PIP.
I was made to feel like an insect by a GP last week, because I made an appointment to request a supported letter for medical re-banding.
Refused to do one unless the Housing Service request in writing. Told him they cannot provide this service, their policy is for GP to provide evidence. Was told that he found this "astonishing" and "a first". Declined to even listen or glance at the bullet points I had brought with me. Went home, updated Housing, they insist GP has to provide letter and they do not contact GPs directly. Meanwhile I am in the wrong housing band, facing surgery and will not be able to have these operations until I am rehoused.
I have worked for over 35 years, two degrees, professionally qualified etc., yet having to deal with this, and see the invective on the threads other people have mentioned, makes me angry.

The Severe Disability Premium was for people on PiP/DLA and ESA support. Worth roughly £250 a month. You can now only get this money if you are forcibly transferred to UC. New claims for UC from people who get PiP just don't get it at all.

Labour used to say UC was a terrible system and pledged to replace it. Instead they seem to be embracing it as they can blame it on the tories.

I think we both know it’s based on a lot more than that and that schools and other services have access to more information than kids chat, but this is MN so why bother letting fact get in the way of the opportunity to make a snide remark.

Trust me I know it doesn’t sound believable! I’d have laughed until I started my current job.

How is this relevant to the lived experience of disability, which is the theme of this thread? Please start your own thread if you are interested in reflecting on inter-generational aspiration and work.

I teach some children who will end up being the 3rd and 4th unemployed teen parent generation of their family because despite everything put in place to try to change their circumstances, some cycles are near impossible to break.

Their teachers writing them off like that probably doesn't help. Unconscious bias and all that.

Edit: whoops, replied to the wrong post.

It’s not, obviously, it’s a tangent regarding the state of the country, not a reflection on the OP at all, I think her situation is awful and no one should be judging.

The point made by others was that not everyone who is discontented with the general state of the system is a “benefits basher” who would judge the OP. I think the system is broken beyond belief but would never ever judge someone who can’t work.

I have, I receive standard care and enhanced mobility. How may I help?

Well I would hope that you would have taken the opportunity to set them right.

not everyone who is discontented with the general state of the system is a “benefits basher” who would judge the OP.

Just most of them then.

You’re right, it’s sad and we’re doing lots of training around that because we absolutely do all have unconscious bias as a human, everyone does. Trust me we don’t write them off, there are a lot of things put in place to support to the best of our ability and beyond, but as has been pointed out this isn’t the thread for it so I’ll leave it there.

Fair play for acknowledging it.

I worry that the sort of training dealing with such things is becoming deeply unfashionable at the moment.

I have no doubt your prejudice is based on more than children's chatter. The media you consume? The validation you get from SM and people like your colleagues? They all play a part. The facts however don't bear this out.

As for snide remarks, you are the one who came onto a disabled person's thread about their circumstances and fears to bash benefit claimants.

I'm glad your school is working with staff to combat isms and confirmation bias. Sounds like they need it.

Quite. In my experience, there is a lot to be said about the people who oppose such training initiatives.

Yep And i wonder how long it will be before that nurse who has been stabbed in Oldham hospital and left with life changing injuries is seen as a scrounger by the ablists if she needs to claim disabiity benefits

You’re right. Just like your prejudice regarding anyone with concerns around the state of the country being a “benefits basher.” A phrase which originated in the media. You also make the assumption that I use SM in your post, which I don’t - what is that based on? Presumably lived experience where most people around you use socials? We are all prejudiced by experience,
media, people around us - all we can do is be open to education and the points of view of others. People have made great balanced points on this thread that I will definitely think about further and I bet others reading will too.

You are right that my workplace needs training around personal unconscious bias - every person-facing workplace needs it and should have it. It’s really interesting to experience and makes you question things that you didn’t even realise were biases and helps us to help the children and families we support in a more effective way, hopefully leading to further cycle breaking. My friend who works for the NHS has also found it very useful in her work with people with chronic pain conditions who are often dismissed too easily - the stats around women and people of colour being dismissed more easily than white men were scary! All we can do is continue to challenge our own biases and opinions. I want people like the OP and others in her position to be supported to live their best life possible. I don’t agree with everything the Government is doing in this country or every system currently in place. Both those things can be true concurrently.

Definitely! We should always be open to questioning our own prejudices and doing better and the training we are receiving currently is really interesting!

That is good to see@adviceneeded1990 .

@JenniferBooth
I'm actually from Oldham ( don't live there anymore ) but it shocks me it's so close to home.