DD relationship with 50 yr old

[Bonniethecat1]

I have found out my DD is in sexual relationship with a man who turned 50 in August and she is not far off turning 25.. I think he is using her and how can I convince her to stop seeing him, she actually has admitted feelings for him, aibu to think this is so wrong? I can't stand this.

All the guys are on here now! Horrified that they are not sex symbols after alll! That they have a whole host of health and physical issues that might not be attractive to someone their kids age.

I have got to say that if anyone did this in our family or social circle he would be persona non grata! No one would ever see him the same way.

Many of us will be a similar age with similar aged dc! It isn't old no, it is too old to have a 25yr old gf or bf though.

It clearly isn't though, because there he is, with his 25 year old girlfriend.
And it really isn't the business of anyone else.

This is assuming they stay together long term which may easily not happen. Let the woman make her own choices.

Do they?

I'm pretty sure most people live into their 80s now

And that the 25 year old could just as much "drop dead" tbh

Nothing you can do and nothing you should do apart from keeping your doubts and disapproval to yourself. She is an adult and makes her own choices. It may be a great relationship, it may fall apart and she might want to turn to you if it does but it is always best to keep your opinions to yourself. I appreciate that you are concerned and have your misgivings.

And we are perfectly entitled to say it’s rancid without being labelled ageist thanks. I have a lot of respect for older decent people.

Resorting to calling those who disagree with you men is peak MN "I don't have an argument left"

Agree, there's some bloody stupid posts on this thread.

When I was in my 20s I dated a guy in his 40s for a bit. We used to chat in the smoking area at work and realised we had a lot in common. He asked me out for dinner one day and I thought fuck it why not. He wasn’t some creepy perv or crinkly old guy. Just a man who’d met a woman he liked and took a shot.

Dating him was nicer than guys my own age at the time, he had his life together, had his own place and was more mature. Way less selfish in bed as well and knew what he was doing. I enjoyed the novelty of dating an older man.

Unfortunately the novelty wore off as he gradually started reminding me of my dad. Things like how he’d dress and his attitude towards some stuff. I got what’s now called the ick! The difference in energy levels and how we spent our free time also became a problem. It was nice while it lasted and I just wanted to show that not all age difference relationships are seedy or one person taking advantage of another. And it might only be short lived.

Even for MN, acting like a 25 year old isn't an adult is batshit

I have a lot of respect for older decent people.

As long as they sit there all sexless presumably. Otherwise they're gross, right?

No, but the op has asked for opinions so here we are. I would say the op certainly has every right to be concerned but she'll just have to smile and nod and hope the dd sees him for what he is.

Yes! MN is so weird for this.

He's 49 not 89.

Everyone disagreeing with me must be a man!!

Classic Mumsnet 🤣

There are women on here who are sickened at your infantilising of them, they're not kids who don't know their own minds.
Not necessarily men, get a grip.

@Obimumkinobi I'd definitely question the motives of a man wanting to date someone easily young enough to be his daughter.

What motives are different for a 50 year old dating a 25 year old, relative to a 25 year old dating a 25 year old?

Martin I assume your frenzied defence of dirty old dogs is an act of what? Heroism? Why bother? They don’t care about anyone but their own sordid sexual gratification and don’t need your assistance if you are indeed a ‘sexy silver fox’ lover 🤢🤮

They don’t care about anyone but their own sordid sexual gratification

As opposed to young men, whose intentions towards women are famously honourable.

It sounds as if you don't know what paedophilia means.

Lesser age -attracted filthy pervs should be isolated from society.

Ha!

You keep using my MN name like you're making a point that I'm a man. It just makes you look stupid.

I'm afraid she's an adult and she makes her own choices.

Support her and then, if need be, pick up the pieces. She's always on a journey, as are we.