DD relationship with 50 yr old

[Bonniethecat1]

I have found out my DD is in sexual relationship with a man who turned 50 in August and she is not far off turning 25.. I think he is using her and how can I convince her to stop seeing him, she actually has admitted feelings for him, aibu to think this is so wrong? I can't stand this.

Nothing you can do but let it run the course I think - unless you know of anything more than his age against him. A family member had the same age gap at 25, they’ve been married decades now but she’s got herself a boyfriend on the side (that he knows about) because the husband can’t perform in bed anymore 🙊

You're old enough to have been married, and yet still so immature, narrow minded and ignorant.

Impressive.

Ok, so, sorry for late update and possible drip feed but the reason I am worried as he has form for going for younger women and he is known in the village for being a perve/creep and going on swinging forum and treating women as if they are toys. My DD is not like this and is quite reserved usually so I don't want him to be a bad influence.

I don’t agree that it’s right but wish you well.

@Bonniethecat1 Unless you have evidence for that, I would treat those rumours as just that.

It's very unusual for men in their 50s to receive attention from younger women, so unless he looks like George Clooney, then this idea that he's having sex with lots and lots of young women is bonkers.

My god, he sounds horrendous, the village lothario! does your daughter know about his reputation

That's a pretty magnificent drip feed OP! 🤣

I also found out this is his second divorce, the first he has 3 children with, one very similar age to my DD. His second wife who is going through divorce with, was also younger but not as young as my DD. I am just worried about what he is like

It’s horrendous. Sexual predators live in plain sight. Can you check out Clare’s law op?

She said he goes for younger women.

That doesn't mean the younger women are going for him!

I suspect not.

You do know everyone can see the edits?

Huge dripfeed, OP! You didn't think that was initially relevant?

Possible drip feed?
Total drip feed.
You can be worried for her but she's still an adult, she won't thank you if you try and interfere.

My heart will break when DH dies and I fear being a widow alone without him . Of course . I fear 60-85 alone . But seriously, I could die tomorrow. DH could die next week. Nothing is guaranteed. My own father ( a healthy young man ) walked out of the door and never came back . I have no relationship with him . I believe it was unfortunately a classic example of a very risky relationship where one person wasn’t fully committed but the other wanted a baby. I’d call that selfish.
I think walking out on your children is selfish.
Beating and abusing your children is selfish
( and vile )
I think having an affair and destroying children’s lives is selfish.
I think being an alcoholic or a gambling addict when you have a family could be viewed as selfish .
Slapping your partner whilst your children are in the room is selfish
Not engaging with your kids because you want to go down the pub 4 nights a week and watch sport all weekend is selfish!
Having a child with someone who is a drug addict could be seen as selfish
I don’t think having a baby with a man who you love and trust and are in a financial and healthy stable relationship is selfish .

I ( a teacher ) see so many children who are messed up from piss poor parenting! That’s selfish. I won’t even go there but I think you need to open your eyes to decide what is selfish.

You have confirmed to me that the world is still so stuck. You want to tell me I’m selfish and my relationship isn’t normal by society. Open your eyes and look around . If you really think two married people who love each other and love their children , friends and family is selfish then you’re very naive !

Goodnight !

Lol at that edit 😁
The OP'S drip feed is ridiculous as well, why not just say that at the beginning instead of making it about age?

I know. I'm out. That dripfeed is completely ridiculous. And the daughter is still an adult so can and should make her own choices and mistakes.

Oh God that big grey beard though! I'm sorry it's a no from me George

He could shave the beard @Gloriia 🤷🏻‍♀️

@IcedPurple She said he goes for younger women. That doesn't mean the younger women are going for him!

Is there evidence that he is exclusively targetting younger women? I suspect not. It's more probable that he is approaching older women too.

Sorry about the drip feed everyone, I am finding out snippets of information along the way, which is adding to my worries.

Omg what a drip feed

You are right to be concerned (but still can't do anything) about the fact he's shit partner. His age has nothing to do with it though

Except that he has possibly years of experience in manipulating women and her daughter is quite young

My opinion hasn't changed with the dripfeed. He's a creep anyway.

By snippets of information do you mean gossip? Hopefully your Dd is a sane young woman who you consider capable of making her own choices in life?

She's an adult, you can't tell her who she can/can't date. Just remind her that you're there for her if she wants to talk about anything, and don't make her feel you're judging her choices.

She literally said they have two kids.

Young men can and are plenty manipulative l

But she's been robbed of Motherhood you know 😒