DD relationship with 50 yr old

[Bonniethecat1]

I have found out my DD is in sexual relationship with a man who turned 50 in August and she is not far off turning 25.. I think he is using her and how can I convince her to stop seeing him, she actually has admitted feelings for him, aibu to think this is so wrong? I can't stand this.

Most of my neighbours retired at 55 (BT and fire service pensions used to be great) so the very real possibility of living with a pensioner is very, very likely regardless of assisted living arrangements.
Not exactly sexy living is it!

Most people who retire out of a particular career like that at 55, tend to get another job if they're not loaded.
A pensioner is state pension age.

How do you know that?

Most 50 year old men are far from wealthy.

Probably more likely that he's divorced and spending a good chunk of his cash supporting his ex and kids.

None of them have. At best they do half a day at the NT. it’s very common here.

such relationships are clearly based on sexual perversions

I'm in my 50s and while I certainly don't consider myself decrepit, I am under no illusions whatsoever that young people would see me as ancient. After all I am their parents' generation.

Don’t want to out myself but at 28 I met DH 50. He made me trust in men again. Made me trust in people. He has given me two children and made me so happy - 8 years on I thank god.
He is the kindest and most respectful man I have ever met
I see people give us the occasional look ! I know my brother struggled massively but now he knows DH he thinks the world of him.
Age is not linked to using people.
A 25 / 35 / 40 year old can use you!

Unless you know solid examples that he is using your daughter don’t judge him.

So what if he has come out of a long term relationship? It doesn’t mean he will use your daughter.

You say he is sleeping with her . Or do you mean they are dating?

There is nothing wrong with being old and other older people will adore your crinkles and your pooch, but please don’t expect a young person to see it the same way. It’s too much to ask.

Met DH at 50 myself 28! He has made me the happiest person.
Old school gentleman. He loved me so much I finally loved myself. I redound strength to believe I was worthy of children. I am now a mother and a wife and successful in my carer and DH was the first man after a string of twits in their 30s who just wanted to fuck around !

Slightly older but same age gap- Carrie Johnson ( and Boris)?

lol

My 15 years younger than me DP (who can't get enough of me btw) is currently snoring his head off on the sofa.

He needs way more sleep than me.

I have far more in common with his friends and he with mine, than either of us have with the other's parents.

People keep banging on about the older man being old enough to be the OP's dd's father as though that's some sort of measure... My DP is old enough to be MY dd's father - so what does that mean?

We have so much in common, live an amazing life, travel globally, earn about the same, want to retire around the same time and, if anything, he is the one keeping up with me. We could have had children - he doesn't want them, although he loves dd. Oh and he's the one going grey.

My dad and his wife have the same age gap - 30 years in, still happy.

Stereotypes mean nothing.

Tbh it's none of your business what your adult daughter does or has relationships with.
She may have a good life with him for all you know and if or when it goes wrong then be there for her.if that's what she wants let her get on with it
It's harder when they are adults this parenting business

As a minimum he is on a rebound and not even divorced yet. The amount of baggage he brings will be a complete unknown to her.

Nor being able to have children or to be seen as a normal couple by society does not bother you? Being mixed up as the daughter does not get truly jarring and upsetting? That most will naturally assume he is your Dad over and again for years?

That your brother is almost certainly faking good relations for your benefit?

That your life together will be cut short, and you are likely to end up a carer or a widow? None of which matters very much until it happens.

You have signed up for a hard life, I assume your trust issues came from somewhere and they seem to have really shaped your life, therapy would have been a better choice.

You have signed up for a hard life, I assume your trust issues came from somewhere and they seem to have really shaped your life, therapy would have been a better choice.

OMG the audacity 😂

Wildwalksinjanuary you're being incredibly patronising to that PP. That's really not on. Also, she has children. At least read the post before going off on one.

Nor being able to have children or to be seen as a normal couple by society does not bother you?
I know I shouldn't feed it but..... a "normal couple?"
Not everyone wants children, and you're not the what is or isn't normal police to two fully grown, consenting, legal adults.

It’s the way I see it. He took advantage of her trust issues, of course he did.

50 year old men can have children! I have two children! Anyone can have baggage . A 50 year old is less likely to have young children like a 38 year old man who is divorced .

i see couples splitting all the time . They were never right for each other but felt it should work. No , not for me. I married the man I truly loved and not who I thought would make me acceptable to bigots like you.

I have never worried what people think about my relationship with DH. I wonder if you think because we’re not seen as a normal couple by society then who are ? Mixed gender ? Same sex ? Two women having a baby with no father ? Mixed races ? Are we all just not acceptable by society ? Crikey ! Thanks for informing me .

We both work , own our house , have wonderful children, participate in our local community and are good friends and family members . I believe we lead a great life .

My brother was shagging his PA whislt his daughter was not even 1 . But that’s okay because him and his ex were the same age ??

I have had years of therapy . You are narrow minded and nasty. I am sad for you.

I do feel sad that DH will die before me and that the children will have no rather early . Yes that’s sad. However I will pick. Younger second husband whilst blowing DHs money 😆

SIL is 62 and her husband is 80. She was 30 when they met. It works for some but it can be tricky to understand at first

While intially I would be upset if my DD had a man twice her age, I wouldn't reject it out of hand on principle. At 25, I know I can't tell her who to date.

It does work for some people, its harder , but it can work, as many have said, you have to be there for your DD and at least outwardly hold your tongue, unless you see any evidence of bad treatment or form.

When I was 30 and recently divorced, was with my ex since I was 18, I met a man who was 58. Our meeting was quite random amongst mutual acquaintances. We lived 50 miles apart and he was visiting my hometown on business. He invited me out for dinner......I was single, so was he. I had the most amazing sex with this man, it happened quite naturally after 6 dinner meets ups that happened over 3 months. We had a friends with benefits thing for a year. He knew and I knew it wasn't real but blimey he was good, 😄

The more incandescent you become, @Wildwalksinjanuary , the dimmer you appear.

When you leave school and start into the world of adulting. You will probably view things differently.

I hope you will be happy

@Glitterpantsarebestinpurple just ignore it, I think they're being deliberately nasty/goady on purpose.