DD no longer allowed to walk from school.

[TheWonderhorse]

DD is 9 and has been walking from school to a car park just off the grounds (not the official school car park but closer). She's been really wanting to walk home but we compromised at this for now and would work up to that gradually. I signed a consent form to permit them to release her.

So this morning the school sent a letter out saying that they've had a rethink to all parents, and from Monday only Year 6 children are to be allowed to leave the classroom without a parent.

DD is Year 4 but the oldest in her class, meaning we won't be allowed to start this again for 17 months. AIBU to ask the head to reconsider? I know they can't really refuse to let her out, but I don't want to be a dick. I just feel like DD is being held back for no good reason at all. We have this covered and didn't need the school to intervene.

IABU, school know best.
IANBU it's up to the parent to judge what's safe for the child.

I'm not proposing that she break the rules, I am asking the head to reconsider the rules.

This is sometimes a thing just year 6 and some are more mature.

You're making stuff up now, there is no NSPCC minimum age.
You're going to do it anyway, so why bother with the thread

Read round the subject. Girls have been dragged screaming into cars outside schools. Children of 11 or younger have been raped by multiple participants. Read round.

@StopStartStop all I can say is that this is absolutely ridiculous, and vanishingly rare. You are more likely to be murdered in the street than your child is to be dragged into a car.
Terrible, bad things do happen to children but they happen in secret, in families and the perpetrators are generally known to the child. The vulnerable children who are victims of grooming gangs are not your typical 9 year olds walking home from school and this is why they have been so wrongly blamed and shamed for the terrible things that happened to them. I know this from professional experience, not from some sensationalist nonsense I've read in the Daily Mail.

It might be that there have been bullying/vandalism/shop-lifting taking place by kids in the school uniform.
Blanket policy of it only being year 6s unsupervised helps mitigate this and makes it easier to identify the culprits.

I am reading and absorbing all the replies, I have contacted the head for some justification and will base my decision on what he says next.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/away-from-home/at-school/#homealone

This is where I got the age 8 from. What's the attitude for? My aibu asks if it ought to be my decision or the schools decision, I don't need anyone to persuade me I'm wrong to think she's safe to walk how she does, because she absolutely is safe.

I'm wondering if school are able to overrule me on this, or if there are any issues I hadn't considered in terms of their authority on this matter. From what I can see, it's my decision unless there are safeguarding issues, in which case they need to contact the relevant authorities. Does anyone know or believe differently?

@TheWonderhorse again what does your DD want - does she know and want this fight - yes legally you can push this but it will separate her out from her peers and they will notice - make sure she wants this as well

make sure you are fighting this becuase she wants it not because it is irritating they have changed it

are you pushing for a rule change for everyone or for your DD to have an exception made for her

would you acreot year 5 (common age for primary schools where we are

@TheWonderhorse absolutely this.

DD may quite like walking on her own, or she may be saying she likes it as she thinks it's helpful to her mum.

But is this the battle DD wants her mum to take on? As it will make her stand out. Sometimes my DD let's me know something she isn't happy with, but asks me to not make a fuss about it as she 'isn't that bothered'. And sometimes it's so important that she wants to me speak to school, or sometimes she wants to try to resolve it herself, which is brilliant.

With schools, you have to pick your battles. Pick too many and they won't take you seriously, so decide if this is the priority in her school life right now, for her.

DD wants to be allowed to do it, she's quite happy to inconvenience me and tbh I really don't mind collecting her. It's a 2 minute walk to her classroom from the car. No big deal to me. Some days, if she's feeling clingy or tired she'll ask me to go to the door that day and I do, happily. As I say I want her to be able to take these decisions for herself as and when she wants to. I am able to support her in that.

So I am irritated, but not for myself, and I don't expect to be the exception either. I think that individual decisions can be made for all children and that their parents are best placed to make that decision based on the particulars of the route. The school don't know the plan/schedule/precautions parents have in place so how can they say it's not safe.

I think I will decide whether to die on this hill based on the justification for the change which I have asked for.

It's possible, but I doubt it.

But they don’t know you’re meeting her 50ft from the school gate, unless they send a staff member to check (unlikely)

So I think for the school it’s probably safer to have a blanket policy, if they want kids to be met by parents. It’s too easy otherwise for parents to lie and say they’re ‘waiting around the corner’

I do think year 4 is too young to be leaving school by themselves.

No they don't know. But I think it's hugely disrespectful to assume dishonesty. My relationship with the school is good, I support her teachers and am always willing to give them the benefit of the doubt even when mistakes are made. I expect good faith in return.

Our school didn't allow this until end of year 5. I think 9 is too young. Parents don't always make the best judgement call.

There are kids in Year 5 that are 9 though.

I think the school are right 9 is too young to go of off the school grounds alone.

For a sudden change in policy off the cuff like this the school have probably been made aware of a risk, but of course can’t divulge any information. Read between the lines. A 9 year old wouldn’t stand a chance and it only takes you being late or not being there for something to possibly happen. It’s just not worth the risk.

The world is a shit and scary place and to think otherwise is delusional.

You think 9 is too young to walk to a car park 50ft up a path directly from a school gate? Why?

So the sensible thing would be for their parents to wait until they turn 10 and year 6.

Because traffic round schools is notoriously busy and there are lots of people around.

As I've said repeatedly, she's just outside the school gates. If for some reason I can't be there, and also can't contact the school to stop her leaving or any of the other parents there to meet her then she knows to go straight to the school reception.

A 10 year old would stand about the same amount of chance and lots of children in year 6 are 10. So why allow them if they're aware of a risk?

It's my decision is what I am saying here, not theirs. If they have some secret information about a threat to kids leaving the school gates then parents absolutely ought to be told that there is one, even if they can't be specific.

The school is not on a main road, it's in a housing estate. DD doesn't need to go onto a road at all. She leaves the school gate and walks up a path to the car park where I am waiting for her.

What is the school worried about? Are there dangerous and difficult to cross roads by the school? Or some other dangers?

My DCs took the bus home by themselves from year 4. They loved having the responsibility.

"Having worked as a school governor, I disagree. Sometimes a change of policy can just be driven by someone (a governor or headteacher) who has a strong view on something. It's always easier for the governing body to agree with someone that proposes something "safer". You really have to justify arguing against a "safety" move.
One governor I worked with was a parent of a younger child and she didn't want them eating rubbish snacks straight after school. She objected to the fact that other parents would turn up with chocolate/crisps for their child leaving school and her child would want the same. Result she wanted - blanket ban on children being given food by parents when they were being collected - safety reasons they might choke eating standing up. Thing is what was the difference in the safety to the child waiting until they were off school grounds. Yes but it's our responsibility on school grounds was the plaintive appeal.
This could well have been similar. You could see from the array of answers on here that some parents take a very cautious approach with their child's safety and wouldn't allow them to walk 50ft until they are 18 or so. They don't want their child to take issue with this so they insist on more restrictive rules for all DC."

@dnasurprise

People in positions such as school governor really need to start pushing back on the endless calls for more and more "safety" which is to the detriment of children's development (skills and independence and freedom). The safest option is not always the best one. A good obvious example is the difference between caged animals and wild animals. The former are safer but are usually not happier and lose (or do not gain) many of the skills they would need to live in the wild. It's not ok to be doing similar to our children.

Dear me! So those of us who think it's more appropriate to wait until they are year 5/6 are wrapping them in cotton wool until they are 18! Seriously get a grip.

School governor here. I'd say the specifics of your child aren't relevant to the decision at all. My school allows year 6 children to leave school premises with written consent (renewed each term). That's not a decision about individual kids in lower years, it's a decision it's the best course of action to effectively safeguard those year groups as a whole. I'd be very surprised if a new 'secret' external safeguarding risk has been discovered, but more likely would have been sparked by concerns for the family circumstances of a specific child (or children).

For those saying the school can't refuse to release children, of course they can. Schools are in loco parentis until they hand kids over to their carers at the end of the day and have a broader legal duty to protect the welfare of those children even when they're not at school. If they choose to allow the kids out alone with parental consent then they can legally do that, but there's no obligation and the younger they allow it, the more risk that carries.