Do you expect other women to agree with you when you talk about the plight of women ?

[amijust]

And what do you think about the ones that just stay silent ? Every time it comes up ?

Just wondering, as I've noticed someone in my life is always entirely silent when these convos come up.

How would you feel about someone like that ?

A couple of examples that have come up :

• mental load being all on the woman a lot.

• housework being a woman's problem a lot to the time.

• at work, taking maternity leave and having kids often hurts a woman's career.

• working from home, isn't good for women as a whole because it means a lot to women pick up even more housework and tend to work from home more to ferry kids around, this in turn hurts their careers etc.

• being the default parent.

• workplaces not being set up for parents in general.

• women's health problems being largely ignored. Women being told to suck up extreme period pain for example.

• when women show emotion, being branded as hysterical etc etc

These are just some conversations that have come up around another woman I know ( no kids yet ). Other women have agreed / disagreed or engaged on the topics. This person stays entirely silent.

I agree with this

Who said I always raise it though. No one.

What if some of the points made do not apply to her? Because not everyone will experience the above points.

She hasn't got children OP and you're talking about bias against women with children.

I think you sound a bit obsessed!
I have an amazing DH.. we share all household tasks, he’s a great dad and we are equal, he respects when I’m hormonal and supports me, he lets me pursue my hobbies whilst looking after our son and vice versa…. both our work places respect us too.

My mother however moans about my dad as he does nothing … so I tell her to leave then! She doesn’t listen so I give up caring!

Using the word plight makes you sound like a victim!

Everyone’s experience is different. I haven’t found all the points above to have applied to me for example despite being a woman, mother and working full time, including from home.

Op,

How do this affect you and what do you want out of this ?

She may well have opinions but doesn't share with you.

Maybe these things are not her experience, they’re not really mine because I have a supportive DH and work for a supportive company.
I accept that my career has tanked a tiny bit because I was lucky enough to be able to spend time at home with my darling DC, I considered that a privilege, DH’s career progressed in that time, mine didn’t. I am now more focussed on house stuff than he is, one of us has to be. It’s fine!

My first thought on reading the op was also that they're probably sick of hearing and talking about it. Or their opinion/experience is different.

I can't say that anything stated (other than women's health issues) have ever been a problem for me eg I've never carried the mental load or taken more responsibility for housework in any relationship.

These are just some conversations that have come up around another woman I know ( no kids yet

why are woman with no kids having a convo about being the default parent? Parent to who!

Your op is odd

Sometimes staying silent is better than voicing opinion which may not be too popular...

I think it's weird that you noticed in the first place and even weirder that you have now posted about it

To add to the suggestions already (thinking about this from experiences I have had) just a couple of random theories:

• her partner is shit and lots of those things apply to her and she's ashamed/annoyed

• your partner is shit but you seem to be blind to it, so she finds it awkward as she wants to go 'yes, and when was the last time your husband picked up either of his kids from school or went a weekend without disappearing to the pub for 10 hours straight'

OP said this woman has no kids

I mean, isn't it good they discuss and are aware of these things, so hopefully don't fall into the same traps as many women do if they ever do become mothers?

Not everyone is interested in talking about the same things as you.

Just because she has ovaries/ a womb does not mean she has some kind of responsibility to agree with you or talk about anything in particular.

Leave her alone.

I would say she's either fortunate enough not to have encountered these issues in her own life as yet, or conversely much less fortunate and is dealing with issues that make complaining about WFH and 'mental load' seem like privileged women's problems.

Maybe she disagrees with you but doesn't want to have an argument. As I suspect that's what would happen if she gave her opinion.

Perhaps it hits close to home perhaps it’s doesn’t.

As these examples seem to apply to women with children she has nothing to say. Perhaps actually she can't have children and is biting her tongue so as to not scream STFU to you or whoever it is raising it. Why does it matter to you that she stays silent or is this a reverse in which case - yawn!

Do you ever talk to her about the millions of ways in which women without children are treated badly? How they are often belittled and dismissed? Told they aren't normal women?

If you don't support all women....regardless of reproductive status, then why expect childfree women to support you just because you are a parent.

Not all of the discussion points OP raised are to do with having children - also my mention of kids in the second example is just to sort of illustrate the wider point of 'she might be uncomfortable with you talking about it as you seem to be unaware of inequalities in your own life' - sorry, maybe that wasn't clear.

I never ‘expect’ anyone to ever agree with my opinion on anything, tbh. In fact, I would always welcome hearing a different perspective as I may just learn something.

Not everyone has to have an opinion on absolutely everything and maybe your friend is one of those people who just doesn’t feel strongly about it. Which is fine.

I think one of the main issues with the current political polarisation and cancel culture is simply because most people seem to think their opinions and views are always 100% accurate, are offended by listening to anything by the contrary and are arrogant enough to believe their world view is the only right one.

What do you want from her exactly? I can't work out what she's meant to have done wrong in your eyes - she might agree or she might not, or she might not be able to relate (half of those things don't apply to me, as I'm not a parent), but just because she doesn't talk about it with you doesn't mean she necessarily disagrees. And even if she does, she's entitled to disagree.