"Typical woman" comment. AIBU to have said something?

[Yoyoi]

DH is throwing a party at our house in a few weeks. V much a 'boys party' - about 15 blokes and will definitely NOT be family friendly. This is very rare really - he doesn't go out a huge amount. But he does have a group of blokes he used to hang around with that are very much good time people. I am taking the kids to my parents for the weekend.

We are trying to sell our house but have lots of DIY things to sort before we do that. DH has been very slow on this and I have been doing most of it. We both work full time.

DH said to me "the good thing about the party is I will finally fix all the stuff with the house. want the place to look good for the lads" (we are talking peeling paint, broken bannister etc)

I said "it would be nice if you'd been motivated to do it for the family & our need to move house rather than the lads"

He said "Only a woman could twist a positive thing into something so negative. The house will get done now and typical woman stuff to find a reason why that isnt' a good thing"

Was I being unreasonable to not just be happy the house will get done?

If that is how OP feels then yes it does

I genuinely could not get wound up about this. It may irk me slightly in the moment but I think the terms 'sexist' and 'misogynistic' are a bit much in this instance. Does no one have a husband/ partner who says something and we say or think 'typical man' ? I do it all the time and I'm in no way sexist.

No I genuinely don't.

@Leafy74 I don't think DIY is DH job. But we both want to move house, we both work the same hours (full time) so why are the jobs left to me in the evening? I do more practical stuff than him. I'm frustrated that he's found the motivation to do it in build up to his blokes all nighter party weekend and not to help us move house and for the family.

@Leafy74

The OP views DIY as a man's job.

Where on earth are you getting that from when she says clearly she's "done most of it" herself?

I think your comment sounds a bit passive agressive to be honest.

You made a bitchy comment to him, he made a bitchy comment back to you Swings and roundabouts really, except youre the one crying on the internet about it

Dont dish it out if you cant take it back

What state will the poor house be in after the piss-up?!

(He sounds like a dickhead btw)

Not sure it can count as passive aggressive when she's simply said what she means.

It would absolutely have been nice for him to have wanted the house to be nice for his family, rather than just to impress his mates.

Especially when he has seen her (when they both work) doing the majority of the jobs rather than helping equally.

I’d contact the local 7th Day Adventists church’s outreach and conversion department to advise that you know of an entire household of eager beavers ripe for an evening of exorcism, preaching and baptism and then send a contingent round with a spare house key and an order not to take ‘no’ for an answer.

attack from your DH to distract you from the truth of what you said, so that you are baited by his trite misogyny instead of pursuing the fact that he’s got ‘impress my pals’ disease, on top of laziness.

how was my comment bitchy? is expressing your viewpoint bitchy?

YANBU
This is why I live alone. Men and women just piss each other off and get bitter about division of chores/DIY
Your comment was fair and he threw it back in your face, twisted it to deflect from the inequality of DIY

Not when they’ve got a legitimate point and say it to try and discredit their legitimate point

Translation - I'm a crap husband and father but I want all my mates to think I'm fantastic.

I wouldn't want to be in the same room as this horrid oaf, let alone be married to him.

Why are you tolerating this?

This is a tricky one because I would have found what he said incredibly annoying and also it would have given me the ick. However, with that said, your response was sanctimonious and yes, if turned a positive into a negative. I can totally understand why you said it but his response is not unreasonable. Why don't you just dump him.

No she deems it as both their job. She has been doing it herself and he is yet to contribute

Either comment would get you a 'not guilty' verdict from an all female jury!

The second comment was more defensive because he knew he'd fucked up with the first.

only a wmn who isnt rated as highly on the "home presentation front".he made an arsehole comment. wouldnt worry yourself.

Ok, typing what you said on here, and actually saying it when you are a bit annoyed is 2 totally different things. You were a bit peed off so maybe snapped, he responded in the same tone.
Move on and don't get hung up.

Just invite his mates over more often- DIY gets done, winner all round!

He sounds really selfish. Happy for you to come home from work and do most of the House selling DIY stuff - only deciding to spruce things up because HE wants to impress his "Lads" and the casual "typical woman" put downs.

All of the above would give me the absolute ick.

You bought the house? does that mean you did all the work to buy it or you paid for it.
He sounds like a lazy "lads" pleaser and is not respecting you.

Lol - haven't heard anyone else use shitehawk for ages! Navy??

Totally agree though - it would piss me right off. Not so much the "typical woman" comment, because, as others have said, I will fairly regularly say "typical man", so I can't complain if the opposite is said about me.

The only sorting something out because the people he wants to impress are coming, not because it needs doing, would be what annoys me.

I'd have made a comment back about "typical man trying to deflect the issue away from himself" so you could both be a bit pissed off with each other and be done with it.

Are you sure you want to move with him?

Annoying, but I would find the OP's "jibe" annoying as well.
😕