To ask if you take your children out alone

[ijustdontcareifhedid]

I don’t mean to the park or soft play, more big days out.

YABU yes

YANBU no

Of course children are different, parents may struggle and none of it is bad parenting.
I just find it strange that a woman out alone on a trip with 2 kids prompts so much incredulity because this is really an everyday event for many.

I think for a lot of people the incredulity is coming from the fact that many people have no choice but to take their kids out alone if they want to go out at all. My DH worked away a lot when mine were very young, so if I didnt take 3 under 5s out alone, we wouldn’t have left the house for weeks on end. And one of mine is severely autistic so it wasn’t like I had the easiest children! Taking your kids out is just something you do.

By avoiding going out you are making your child's problem worst.

That’s not always true to be fair. Taking an autistic child into an environment that distresses them isn’t going to cure their autism.

I'm a single parent of one, and going on a little fun day trip for her might be quite easy, but I have a life as well. So I take her out to do things I like to do or I'd never do them. Meals out, museums, visiting new towns and cities. We obviously do the zoo/park things as well but if I only catered to her I would lose the plot. And I'm trying to bring her up to be well rounded. It does a child good to have behaviour expectations in a situation that is not catered to them. In a zoo, she can run about and have a loose rein, in a museum, she needs to stay close to me or if she can't do that, I hold her hand.

Also, your kids don't have that big an age gap? Soft play/zoo/aquarium were things my daughter loved and still enjoys now she's a bit older, and I like the second two as well. She likes museums well enough at 3, but will hopefully have a deeper appreciation as she gets older.

Sometimes it's crap, even when it's a day for her (which is worse) and I do love the odd fester at home but life's too short.

😂 I'm a single parent since twins were babies and also have an older child

I do all big days out and holidays etc alone

(Have to admit I get a bit 😳 at some parents of one child who agonise (can't cope with) their one child on their own )

Maybe you’ve just hit a difficult point. If going out for the day at the moment is too tricky and causes stress, don’t bother for a while. Just do the smaller things, the park, soft play etc. Also if you really want to do something, maybe look at taking your order one out on your own at the weekend when your DH is around to have the younger one at home.

Slightly off topic but I think parents can feel like they should be doing bigger days out (or even something “small”) every weekend. This is simply not true. Kids need entertainment or something to keep them occupied some of the time, but this can be as simply as sitting down with them for a dedicated amount of time and eg colouring in for half an hour which can be easily overlooked during a normal week of work and nursery runs. Tell them in advance and make it something special.

I fell into the trap when my eldest was about 4 or 5 and saw friends or school families going out to theme parks, sightseeing in London etc and thought I wasn’t giving my kids the best opportunities by not taking them to these places very often. It’s rubbish. They didn’t miss out and my eldest now still talks about our crafting days (tissue paper and pritt stick!!). And they weren’t days, they were a morning at the most.

Do what suits you now, Things will likely change in the future and you can change it up.

Yes of course. I take them out alone, DH takes them out alone, we take them out together. We've also taken them away alone for various reasons.

Was going to say the same. We tend the save bigger days out to go as a family but if there was something we wanted to do and my partner was working or didn’t want to come, we (myself and two children) would go alone!

Yes, otherwise they’d be stuck at home! Next.

Yes. All the time. Some of my favourite days are 1:1 time.

Of course! There’s a big age gap between my two dc, so it‘s easy to do separate things with them. Sometimes it’s with both kids & without dh, sometimes it’s just me and one of them, or dh and one of them. Dc2 and I did Disneyland together last year. We’ve been for other overnight trips to hotels & dc1 gave me an evening with him for my birthday.
So important to be able to spend quality time together without other dynamics being at play.
We also do lots with the four of us together ❤️

This is one of the most nuts posts ever! Sorry OP!
Both my DH and I took the kids out from early ages on our own. Sometimes to just give the other a break. Sometimes to visit family and then do side excursions alone.
i don’t see the issue if you get organised. Most SAHM manage. I used to do weekly visits to zoo with both mine when they were baby /toddler 18 months apart) and I just planned my day well.
DH was a bit more relaxed but similarly planned for emergencies and delays.
The worse thing was when one puked all over the other or the occasional explosion in nappy.
i enjoyed these days most when i look back.

Of course! Two boys under 3. Why wouldn't I? Have to take them when doing food shopping too. Always fun....

Hell yes, I became a single parent to three kids when the youngest was just 2 and the eldest 8. I took them to Eurodisney twice and multiple holidays abroad . I wouldn't have gone anywhere otherwise. It's fun and perfectly manageable. Only notable point was a 9 year old screeching around a corner with the then 3 year old on a pile of suitcases at Charles De Gaulle airport and her flying off across the floor.

When my eldest 2 were little I was a single parent. I loved going to zoos and theme parks with them. We would go blackpool pleasure beach once a year, all I could afford at the time, and honestly I look back now as some of my happiest memories. Now they’re 19 and 17 I’m lucky if I get a grunt! I have 2 year old twins with my current partner and reserve those things for when I’m with him. But i will defo do things just me and then when they’re bigger. I never do these things with friends. I much rather it just ne and them.

Yes single parent so always have. Day trips/holidays abroad etc. All just the 2 of us :)

Yes, single parent, 4 kids, two of which are neurodiverse, all holidays and days out.

Happily married so not single parent but yes, I regularly took my children out for the day and also took them on solo holidays when husband was working.

YABU.
i take my children on long days outs, including going to concerts, weekend breaks and holidays by myself. I have no other choice. I’m really not sure why you would think that is unreasonable?

Yes I always have. Not a single parent but DH often works at the weekend. 2 dc with a 20 month age gap - we’ve done theme parks (used to have a season pass for our local one when they were tiny), city day trips & breaks, short holidays including ferries, flights & driving…anything & everything really.

BUT my dc are older now and were babies before it was so easy to split parental leave. I was on my own with them 10 days post CS and just had to get on with it. Whereas I notice now friends & family members with younger dc often have both parents at home for a lot longer - and then find it quite difficult to imagine looking after dc on their own. It often makes me feel like a different generation!

My children are 15 months and two and a half. I have severe social anxiety and often struggle to be in public on my own let alone with my two toddlers. I do take them to the park or soft play occasionally on my own but usually bigger days out with my partner or mum there.

Yes, frequently with 2DC. DH not always available and we want to explore and have fun. Often pack up for an adventure day where we head out on the metro and just see where the day takes us.
It is much easier now everyone is toilet trained, can manage their own toilet stalls, lunch boxes and jumpers/jackets.
Also dc2 can be a bit of a handful when tired but dc1 is now old enough to "stand here and mind the bags" if I have to dash after dc2.
Have travelled with them and was fully prepared to camp alone with them too when it looked like dh might have to work over our planned break.
Just need to work to the youngest persons needs and allow plenty of time.

I do as a single parent but it's not easy. For example. Go to McDonald's, food arrives, one child needs toilet so you then have to take all the food and both children to the toilet while one child does the world's slowest poo before going back to unpack all the food again and finish eating. Last time we went to McDonald's we were there 75 minutes and had 3 toilet trips. One person needs the toilet and we all have to go.

Or went to Legoland Manchester, 2 kids, neither old enough to go on ride on their own , or wait on their own, but each adult could only take one child. Luckily a member of staff went on with one of the kids otherwise neither could have gone on it.

We all have to do everything together - if there are 2 parents you could each go with a child if they wanted to do different things - e.g. look at different things within Legoland.

It's just generally logistically difficult. I often leave my kids somewhere to wait for me or they wait in the car which probably isn't ideal but it's the way it is. I much prefer a day out with another adult, even if that means also having a load of extra kids along!

I would take 1 but not more for a full day out. Swimming or climbing or cinema or something is fine but all day with a long drive etc. would just be a chore as they are feral.