To ask if you take your children out alone

[ijustdontcareifhedid]

I don’t mean to the park or soft play, more big days out.

YABU yes

YANBU no

Yes. Frequently! And overnight. Why wouldn’t you? And my two are ASD.

All the time! Not just days out but weekends camping and long weekends abroad whilst daddy is home working. Our work schedules and time off differs. I love our little adventures just the two of us

Yes and I’m planning on a cheeky hotel stay by the coast the summer with my son, he’ll be 6 then. I can’t wait. His dad can’t get the leave and it will only be a night or so but it will be lush

I certainly did during maternity leave, and have done if DH can't get a day off to match mine. That's rare though, so we do most things as a family simply because we can. We WFH and have very flexible jobs, and we all enjoy doing things together. Obviously I'm quite happy to take them out on a hike or whatever if DH is doing something else, he often takes them out to walk the dogs and go for a run around while I have some me-time and vice versa.

Big day trips tend to be all of us, but not because one of us couldn't cope. We just both want to be involved. If our schedules were different and hours less flexible then neither of us would have an issue doing things solo, though.

On the other hand, I have a friend who struggles and I don't judge her for it. She had a really traumatic birth and just found it difficult. That's not her fault, she isn't doing it by choice. Luckily they have a big garden so she isn't trapped indoors all day. During the holidays, I invite her over as often as possible or on some trips out. Her DH is a doctor and works long hours, she's a teacher so school holidays are particularly trying for her.

4 year old and 1 year old here. I do take them out by myself a lot but generally local ISH. Park, soft play etc.

Anything like a theme park or zoo I would tend to do on the weekend when DH was around x

I often found it easier to take my 3 kids out on my own than with now XH, SN and all. We did and do a lot of things just the 4 of us. I prefer it that way.

It so annoys me at theme parks when families take their children out of the queue to go to the toilet...what do you think single parents do? They get better organised and go to the toilet beforehand and if you are in a queue for what might be hours, you don't give your DC litres of drinks in the queue and if one needs to go, you all go and then have to join the back of the queue again.

Yes I prefer to because DH never listens to any plans and then gets all confused, doesn't eat and then gets all stroppy. I end up having to carry snacks for him aswell as DC..he's also not interested in things I want to show DC like art, museums etc. and always just focuses on the negative.

We get on a lot better if I take DC out, have fun and leave him with a list of things to sort out at home by the time I'm back!

I have a 2 year old and a baby, we go out pretty much everyday. If there’s something big and fun that my dh also wants to go to then we might hold off until his day off. Other than that we go out for the day, go to zoos, museums, aquariums etc depending on the weather.

I usually get the comment of- you’ve got your hands full and one incredibly ignorant older man telling me I should have kept my legs closed!! But I enjoy taking them out, keeps us all busy for a few hours.

Dh worked away most of the time till last year (kids now teens) so I’ve always done all days out, trips & even some holidays (home & abroad) solo! I have 3.

5yr old n 2yr old here. My oldest is 20 and i was single parent with him so done all big days with him and quite often 1 of his friends. The toddler is gem out and about but the 5yr old…… not so much. Not because of bad behaviour. Just because he is full of so much energy and is like a whirlwind so days out are usually saved for when dad’s off work to tag team.
edited to say i do take them to the park and swimming myself so not that I don’t do stuff with them myself

I do to places that I know, the local farm/zoo etc but it's usually with someone else we know like friends or my sister, it's just easier with a bigger adult to child ratio. I have a 5yo and an almost 2yo, the 5yo is great at walking and easily entertained, the 2yo not so much so it's sometimes a struggle to split myself in two when we go places.
If we're going further afield I usually wait until DH is off work.

Yes always boomer+ age men that appear to be authorities about parenting, never get it from women in same age group, they are generally lovely when your DC are not at their best

Not a single parent but yes, absolutely this.

DH doesn't like camping, or staying away from home generally 😂but I do so I've always taken my kids by myself. Started camping when they were 2 and 4. Also staying in holiday cottages, staying in youth hostels, Eurostar to the Alps.

YABU.

took a 1 year old and 4 year old to Eurocamp in France by myself for a week. Drove the car on the ferry, two children in the cabin with me. All dinners, playing, swimming bedtimes etc.

You have to be resourceful inventive, patient and resilient I’ll give you that

I do kind of feel like some people are answering a different question though. It isn’t ’taking them out’ it’s more big days out that involve travel, spending most or all of the day somewhere and then home.

I am finding it tricky to do that at the moment because of naps mostly. One needs a nap but the other doesn’t.

I don’t think (for some posters) all the spluttering and incredulity is necessary.

Of course. Currently in the process of a divorce but even before that I took DD on big days out/overnights and European trips on my own. We did these all together too but not everyone was available all of the time and, often, it was more fun just us.

Yes, though generally not expensive ones just because we don't have the money to do expensive things too often so DH would miss out. Though if there was something expensive he really didn't fancy doing for some reason, I guess I'd take them without him.

I also take them to stay with my in-laws by myself, which sounds a bit strange but I get lots more leave than DH.

Can you time a car journey to co-incide with naps? DD is an only. I imagine the logistics are more difficult if you are outnumbered.

How old are they? When mine still needed naps, they just napped in the pram or sling. I never really made naps into a "thing"; my sister did with her first and advised against it as she felt trapped. Both of mine just slept wherever and noise/light, etc. didn't make much difference, so I didn't find that too bad.

Could you try something like that?

I always took DS out alone, and travelled internationally with him alone, but I imagine it was easier for me than someone who had two or more young children. I wouldn't worry about other people's reactions, OP. Do whatever works for you and your family. I got some strange comments about how "brave" I was to take DS out for big trips or travel on my own, but I think that shows their concerns about their own family rather than a reflection on my actions.

I've always been free in the school holidays so have always taken them out and about including overnight in hotels and camping when they were 5/7.

I did adjust when they were in the headless chicken phase so about 1-2/3-4 to places where they were more contained and both entertained. But their interests at that age aren't that deep anyway. It wasn't that I "couldn't" take them to places like museums, it was just that I was selective about places that suited where they were at at the point of development they were at. As they became a bit more portable and rational, other options opened up. I remember taking them on trains to a science museum in a major city at 4/6. Another outing I remember I gained my friend's 4yo on an INSET day and we went to an interactive museum at 4/5/7.

Generally being close in age and similar in interests has been and advantage at choosing places that mutually suit them.

I like taking them out. It's interesting and stimulating. Plus they'd nap on the way home when they were young.
They're much harder to get out now they're secondary age!

That’s my current plan!

For instance I really want to do an event at a national trust place and was considering going today but it involves a lot of walking and so I was thinking the toddler would just be whining and escaping from the pram and then my older one wouldn’t enjoy it as much. so I thought oh we’ll just go at the weekend when DH is around. It’s the first time I’ve thought like that!

When we had to fly back from a family funeral seperately, my only concern about it was that passport control might have got a bit funny about us flying out as a family and DH bringing DS2 back on his own as they have different nationalities of passport. It was fine.

I've never otherwise needed to take them abroard on my own, but it wouldn't have been an issue to have done it. I've done several long haul and short haul flights solo, and an airport's an airport. They tend to be the most formulaic places around the world.

@ijustdontcareifhedid
Mine both always napped in the car or buggy
so we could go pretty much anywhere easily. I regularly got flights back to my home country to see my parents on my own with both DC from 3 months old onwards.
But I had friends whose kids didn’t/wouldn’t nap anywhere other than in a cot and yes going anywhere was much more difficult for them! Everyone is different and I wouldn’t compare yourself to anyone else - just try to figure out what works for you.
I remember travelling with my youngest when they were 6 months old and I was at the airport with the buggy, car seat, loads of stuff and got talking to someone on her way to a conference with a 6 month baby in a sling, no buggy and just one small bag. She was even presenting at the conference - I was just in awe at the time thinking I could never do that. But now I realise that would never have worked for me anyway as my DC were huge heavy babies and it would have killed my back carrying them with no buggy for respite.
You do what works for you and get help when you need it. Things change so quickly with small children that whatever is difficult now probably won’t be in 6 months time.