To ask if you take your children out alone

[ijustdontcareifhedid]

I don’t mean to the park or soft play, more big days out.

YABU yes

YANBU no

I do know families where the expectation is they do everything together though. But they tend to have more children!

Sorry if it wasn’t clear. I guess I meant however children you have. But a one child to one adult ratio is probably easier.

I have two and I do take them but I’m finding it increasingly difficult and a lot of people seem incredulous I do it at all, so I wondered if just easier to leave the big sort of days to when DH is around.

I had to as I'm a lone parent. However, it wasn't always much fun for me.
Never taken then abroad though, costs and SEN makes it too stressful.

Do it all the time and love it. She gets my undivided attention, we have fun, its cheaper. Win win win.

Not to a theme park or waterpark or somewhere where there are different height restrictions as it’s helpful to have another adult otherwise impossible to do many of the rides. Swimming is sometimes mandatory not to be alone with several kids. I probably wouldn’t risk the seaside either as eldest likes to swim in the sea.

Dd is a single parent so takes dgs on holiday a couple of times a year alone as well as every other adventure he has alone. He's 5 now and has been doing this since he was a baby.

People seem incredulous that you take your two children out on your own? Really? Unless your children have significant SN and/or your days out are hiking in the Himalayas, I’d say that’s really weird.

at least 75% of the places I go to with my (multiple) children, I’m the only adult. The other 25% I’m with friends and their children too. The odd (in both uses of the word) person says things like “you’re so good/brave/amazing to take them to legoland/Devon/Loch Ness”, and I just think WHAT PLANET ARE YOU ON?! They’re just my children. Good grief.

I wouldn’t take them anywhere unsafe without a one to one ratio but I’m struggling to think what that might be in the UK.

And to the PP who avoided cinemas on her own with two children in case one needed a wee, what? You just all run to the loo as fast as you can and run back. No drama.

I actually find it quite frustrating and upsetting when people think I’m “amazing” for things like driving my children to Devon for a holiday. I mean… I know I’m a good mum, but I also don’t have a choice to share the driving with their dad or any other adult so I just do what I have to do. I dunno. It’s not something I’m doing to get a medal. It’s just our life. If I didn’t do things on my own with my children we’d almost never leave the house.

Yes of course.

I find it a strange question to be honest.... wouldn't occur to me not to.

Yes, but I don’t go abroad just me and my DC (8), I think it’s just too risky in case anything goes wrong.

I have a 3 month old and have been taking him for days out alone (while my partner is working) since he was about a week old.

My children are grown up now, but when they were younger, yes, both DH and I were quite happy taking the two of them out solo and regularly did so. Our children weren't allowed to be badly behaved and both DH and I were capable of actively parenting them, so it wasn't really a problem.

Obviously we also did a lot of big days out together, because we both wanted to go and we wanted to spend time together as a family.

I actually find it worrying that anyone would find it difficult or impossible to be in charge of two small children of your own. Obviously if you've got 4+ children or children with significant disabilities then it's a different matter. But in general, 2 children to one adult shouldn't be that hard.

Ok, the sea is where this was/is hard. I have to be with them, all dressed in neon colours, only at lifeguarded beaches, and if I’m not in the sea with them I have to watch them all the time. That is hard. I do deserve a medal for many, many hours of Devon beach holidays being the only adult in charge of children on the beach/in the sea! Bravo me 🤩

I took my dc to the beach on my own when they were very young...I've never been so exhausted! They're teens now and I took them a few months ago...it was a much more relaxing experience!

I take mine out when I can, dp comes when he can, 50% of the time I'm by myself with the kids when we have big days out.

I do yes - I have DS7 and DD3.

If its both children, its usually with people we know (even if DH is not there) Adult to child ratio is usually 1:2 or 1:1.5 depending on which of my friends we are seeing.

I do 1:1 days out with my DS alot in the holidays. Usually just the two of us for farms, cadbury world, theme parks etc. Depends where the offers are! Its cheaper to do it with just the two of us and DH will take him on a different big day out for his childcare days in the holidays.

It's incredible hard sometimes but I am really organised about it. Have way more than we actually need in the car. All eventualities catered for. Car full of picnic and snacks. All forms of clothing and spares just in case etc. Fuel tank full.

Yes DH AL is odd, I take the kids on holiday all the time on my own. Skiing, beach trips, 12 hour drives across the country. I do feel a bit bad for DH though who has to stay home and work but the kids and I love it and they get so much out of it.

It is exhausting isn’t it. Especially on a busy beach. I normally speak to the lifeguards and point out my dc and say that I’m watching them like a hawk but that no one else is so please keep an extra eye. It really helps if they’re in the same neon colour - my best seaside tip!

Life would have been so boring and limiting when my dc were little if I had to wait for someone to accompany us. Dh obviously works full time. I have friends and relatives obviously but they all work and aren't just sitting at home waiting to see if we're off to a theme park and can come with us.

Just got back from a week abroad solo with my two (5&3), same reasoning as @AgathaMystery

But agree with you OP people are often incredulous. Had so many people come up and ask me if I was travelling alone with my children and how brave I am to do it and what hard work it must be. Maybe I've just got easy kids (sometimes!!) but it didn't feel worthy of the kudos, was fun!!

We often divide and conquer. 2DC similar ages but very different interests and stamina levels. This can lead to lots of squabbles and moaning if we do t choose an activity that is accessible to both. It is much easier to parent one child so it means a more relaxed time for everyone.
we do also take both DC on days out with 1 parent but we have to choose activities that suit both DC and that is harder (and more expensive as they get older).
and TBH , sometimes DH can add to the stress so sometime happy to leave him behind, so long as he does his share of childcare.

Yes I've always been a single parent, if I had multiple child I would be sure to do 1:1 things with them if that was the question.

When DD was small whenever I tried to organise more expensive trips to the zoo etc with other toddler group mums they would only go if their partners were off work for a family trip. So I just used to go on my own and eventually stopped asking

Yes of course. And so does my husband.

Yes of course.

I took my 10 and 4 year old to stay at Legoland for a couple of days last year, dh was working and staying at home with the dog.

It is getting harder for me as I have an issue with my vision which is getting worse. I have blind spots which mean unless my children are standing practically glued together then I can’t see them both at the same time, if they are a few feet apart. So as it stands, it’s getting harder and more stressful to take them out alone.

Agree with you on the last point absolutely! Sometimes it's easier to be a solo adult.

Yes. We go anywhere that we want to go. I've been a single parent for 8 years (my youngest is 8) so if I didn't then I guess we wouldn't have gone further than the local park?

I don't drive so it's walking (& my 2 are great walkers) buses, trains. We've had nights away in hotels at the seaside, day trips to cities. We go to the big park all the way across town, for the day. We most recently sket the night in a town 30 miles away & did a load of Christmassy things there.

Although, OP I have encountered a Social worker once who heaped praise on their dad (who has them one day out of every 14) for taking them on a day trip to London, in the car, WITH A SECOND ADULT) so I do know what you mean. (Yes I meant to shout, & yes it still annoys me)

Honestly, I think it's just what you are used to. I've had school mums say to me 'Oh we can't do that', (go to a park more than 5 mins walk away with one child) 'My husband is working & I can't go on my own' as it's just what they are used to (shrug)