To ask if you take your children out alone

[ijustdontcareifhedid]

I don’t mean to the park or soft play, more big days out.

YABU yes

YANBU no

Yes, always did since newborn phase even when I didn't drive. We have always taken city breaks, hotel weekends, dinner out together. I love it. DH gets Daddy Days out then we do family days too.

HOWEVER and before you throw your coffee at the screen in response to my smugness we have ONE VERY EASY DC. That's the difference. If it was difficult I know I would not bother.

What sort of outings are you talking about, OP? When my eldest two were those ages I wasn't terribly ambitious - soft play, park, library, forest, beach ticked all our boxes. We have a great splash pool nearby as well, that was great. I wouldn't have gone on a big day trip purely because I had no desire to.

I'm autistic, so no, I couldn't do that.
But we'll wander into town and go shopping, have lunch etc. Or go to the playpark etc

I do but I work part time so we have free days in the week. Also I use to be a childminder so I'm use to loads of kids piling in the car.

Weekends we are often seeing family so it's easier to do stuff in the week.

Yes all 4 of them they know how to behave and are well mannered,I wouldn't think twice about going abroad alone with them etc they are 10 and under.
DH on the other hand wouldn't dream to do things alone with them not even trips to the shop with all 4.

At those ages I didn't attempt big days out, purely as they weren't enjoyable or logistically relaxing, so would stick to soft play, parks, farm park type places.

As soon as they were both late primary school age we went anywhere and everywhere but they needed to be old enough to reliably follow instructions and do certain things for themselves or it wasn't worth the hassle.

Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for not managing “big” days out on your own. In 6 months/ a year your youngest will be more manageable and you’ll feel better about it. Kids don’t need constant big days out. When I have my two on my own we go to garden centres with small play areas, the library, parks I’m familiar with that are enclosed, feed the ducks, play groups for mixed ages, play dates with friends. When DH is home at the weekend we will occasionally do the big things like big soft plays, zoos and museums. It’s all just a season of life!

We have three kids. Once when they were 5, 3 and 1 and I took them to the zoo on my own. What a fucking nightmare!! It put me off attempting to go anywhere on my own with them ever again…
Just typing this out has given me anxiety about that day 😫

I have a baby and a toddler. Go out all the time to everyday things - park, softplay etc with both of them. Biggest thing is probably the zoo for the day.
I haven’t done any ‘big’ trips with them both by myself no - like holidays. Maybe when they are a bit older though!

Of course.
I am another poster who is a bit incredulous that you wouldn't, without some sort of exceptional circumstances).
I had 3 dc - two of whom were later diagnosed with ADHD, so hardly passive, calm children, but taking them out for the day was far better than not going anywhere.

Yes why would you not???

Depends though. One of mine gets overwhelmed out and about so not necessarily better than staying in.

Frequently. And often with their friends.

I've also taken them camping.

I'm not a single parent so it's not a case of having to, but choosing to.

You have a similar age gap to me. I used to take them out but the big difference is that my little one was happy to nap in a buggy for a long time. I’d get her wrapped up cosy and was a buggy that reclined right back with a large hood (in case that makes a difference) so the older one and I could have an hour or so on our own while she napped.

I am pretty sure those people scoffing at you had buggy nappers too! Or have forgotten what a pain it is timing trips around car naps

I took three children under five swimming by myself at the pool. I wouldn't have swum with three under five alone at a beach though. I would have taken them to the beach but not done more than paddled around the edges (but not at a surf beach, just a quiet one).

Yes, because I'm single! Not just big days out but actual holidays too, mad eh?!

Yes, OP.

I've been a single parent since my youngest ws 6. My eldest was 13.

We've done wild camping, weekend festivals, climbed Snowden etc. Just the three of us.

If I hadn't been willing to do big days out, my children would never have been anywhere!

I have one diagnosed ND and another suspected.

I get it. My 1 year old hates the car. I try and avoid any car journey, but if we have to go on a long trip, DH is coming too. When she was 8 months old we drove for 10 hours (bad traffic) for holiday, left the house at nap time feeling hopeful. 7 hours and loads of stops she still hadn't slept, just cried. She also doesn't like being in the pram for long and wants to be carried, which I just can't do for long. I have a pretty easy 8 year old, but a big trip out just the three of us would be wasted and I'd be all snappy and stressed. I'd rather go to a local playground and tread the big one to a hot chocolate in the cafe. Results in a much happier day, for us. Every family is different. My friends all raved about going to paultons park with their 4 year olds. We did the journey, paid the entrance, paid for a rubbery sausage no one would eat, and my dd spent most of the day asking to go to the playgrounds. Total waste for us, but a huge hit for others.

Yes. I have taken mine to lots of different countries on holiday and lots of day trips on my own. I'm a single parent so if I didn't do it no one would.
We have been to a couple of places like Mexico and Jamaica where lots of people were on honeymoon so I felt a bit sad I didn't have a partner but it was a lot easier just me and the kids and we had loads of fun. Apart from turkey where my son was really sick and he was sick for weeks after we got back. My eldest moved out at 16 to do an apprenticeship 2 hrs away and I only see him holidays and weekends now so the time with kids is very precious and limited so you have to do things on your own with them if you don't happen to also have an available nice partner to take with you.

Yes, I took my two out alone when they were small all the time. However, not all children are the same. My nephew runs out into the road full belt and my niece (from a different sibling) doesn’t do a single thing you ask her. Both families have other children who are well behaved so more personality that poor parenting. Mine were quite ‘good’ when we went out. It’s easy to judge other parents but we don’t all face the same challenges.

Yes, I always have done. Trips to adventure parks, zoos and London museums and parks in the holidays plus a few short breaks / city breaks and holidays to Wales. I was a SAHM until recently, so the three DC and I had a lot more time for adventures than DH. I've always felt very lucky to be able to do it, lucky to go wherever we please in the holidays.
I have lots of friends who wouldn't though. Would be too worried about looking after multiple small kids on a trip on the London tubes for example. And I have several friends who won't / can't drive on motorways or in cities they don't know. So I understand the comments you've had.
There were a few challenging moments when they were smaller, I admit. And I felt so proud of myself when I did it anyway and got through those moments without another parent to help.

Eh? Whyever not?
Who seems incredulous that you do it at all? What wierd comments are others making? God this woke bullshit is shocking.

It's just baffling how taking two children out now is apparently a feat worthy of incredulity and disbelief.

I agree with this. There is so much judgement (and a lot of smugness) on this thread. Some kids are just harder work than others it isn't always weak or lazy parenting that people struggle.