The think that if you are a patient in hospital, that it is the height of rudeness and intrusiveness to attampt to chit chat with your roommates

[user1471516498]

I have a long standing medical condition that means I have to spend quite a bit of time in hospital. Privacy on NHS wards is pretty minimal, so I have always thought that it was polite to keep your curtains closed if possible, and if they have to be open, then you put headphones in, avoid eye contact and generally avoid inflicting yourself on others. And certainly you don't make small talk with complete strangers.
I am not being unfriendly here, I am just treating other people how I would want to be treated. The last thing I want when I am feeling ill is to have to talk to people who I have nothing in common with other than being in the same room.
In all of my many hospital stays, I have never been rude enough to intrude on others, but the two women in my bay are just being insufferable! Is it just me, or is this just downright rude?

i've had 3 extended stays in hospital, on 2 occasions the conversations i struck up with fellow room mates was what kept me sane.. we respected each others privacy, but also when we felt like it would chat.

One of the best was on a gynae ward.. i was there for a week with kidney issues, someone with gall bladder and one poor love with hyperemesis were there the same time, was the catch all ward for women when there was no room elsewhere, the three of us kept each other company, laughed and nattered and sympathised with each others pains and eating issues, and the lady with hyperemesis actually cried the day the other two of us were discharged because we were keeping her positive.

If you don't want to talk then that's up to you, but i enjoy it if its welcomed and invited by my neighbours.

This ....having lots more f experience of family spending months repeatedly in hospital illness is very lonely and weeks in hospital is isolating especially if visitors struggle to make a hour or two a week.
Just opt out by doing what you're doing.

Wow

Being in hospital can be lonely and scary. It's not rude to want human interaction. Equally it's not rude for you to not want to chat but don't be rude about it.

Perhaps you opt for a private room

I am sorry for your loss.

It’s incredibly common for families to get to know one another especially if someone is in hospital for a while or e.g. in ICU where everyone has a common worry so to speak.

I’ve been in in ICU three times and every time my family have it to know the other families well when they’ve been in the day room. One of the women had a DH who had had a motorcycle accident, and when they switched off his life suppport she came out of the room (he was in a separate room) she came over to say goodbye to my mum and my mum gave her a hug.

The wife of one of the men who was taken in on the same night as me came to talk to me because her DS had started his GCSE’s on that day and so had mine. He was discharged before me (he’d had a heart attack and stents fitted etc) she came to say goodbye to me even though I’d moved to a different ward by then.

Honestly people have every right to be unsociable and unapproachable, but at least own it.

Oh yes, of course , all those private rooms available...

It depends. I was in for two weeks with sepsis. I was in a room on my own for 11 nights of that. I really don’t think I’d be here if I’d been on a ward. It was only the stillness and rest of being alone that allowed me to heal. Conversation was too draining, even with family. I was on a general ward the night before I went home and was ready to make gentle conversation with people. Some of the women on the ward were well enough to talk, others weren’t.

I am just treating other people how I would want to be treated. The last thing I want when I am feeling ill is to have to talk to people who I have nothing in common with other than being in the same room.

Has it occurred to you that those chatty women in your bay are probably treating other people how they would want to be treated? Maybe they are bored and lonely and enjoy a bit of friendly conversation. They are treated you how they would want to be treated. Exactly the same as you. Maybe for them the last thing they would want is to sit in silence and all ignore each other.

They are not being unreasonable or rude. You are not being unreasonable or rude. You are just different personalities.

If you don’t want anyone chatting to you, then just keep your curtain closed.

I just finished reading David Holmes’s autobiography “The Boy Who Lived” and he talks about the friendships he made with other patients in the hospital.

Yet another post where a first time poster starts a goady thread and then disappears. So tedious.

Currently making frequent visits to a relative in hospital. Everyone is chatty. They all look out for each other. If my relative is sleeping when I arrive, another patient (or their visitors) will update me on how things are - they had a fall / they've lost their watch etc. And the other patients tell me how they are doing too.

Today was my relative's birthday, 2 of the other patients/vistors bought them a card and chocolates.

It's only been 2 weeks but it feels like a wee community. It is Glasgow though... (

Dunno the last time I was in hospital there was someone in the next bed with tourettes, I thought it was hilarious & so did they - the old ladies on the ward didn't laugh though.

These people hear your farts, snoring, coughing and whatever other bodily functions come to the surface during your sleep.

Chitchat seems a lesser offense to me😂

Seriously, just say I really don’t feel up to talking and let them get on with their conversations.

At first I thought you were being ironic.. but no.. you sound like...fun

I agree. Especially if it's chatting loudly across beds/waiting rooms/treatment chairs. I can see why others wouldn't mind it, but like you I need to spend lots of time in hospital settings and can often be found wearing my earphones with nothing playing to avoid chit chat, OR with something on really loudly in my ears to drown out the verbal diarrhoea.

It sounds cranky AF but for me it's the equivalent of loud parenting. Loud patienting. We don't all need to know your shit.

I dunno, I've found most people in hospital like a natter,

I had to stay in for 5 days last year in a room with 3 other women. They were all eldery ( I'm early 30's ) and they were all so lovely to me. I didnt mind chatting but we all had frequent naps so maybe that helped 😅

This type of attitude - that other people are nothing more than a nuisance and an inconvenience- is what is fuelling the mental health crisis. People are becoming isolated, lonely and depressed and they don’t even know why. We need human interaction.

As a HCP we all love chatting to patients (obviously within reason!). I hate it when people can’t make small talk or barely give you an answer to a question. It’s awfully rude.

Being able to build a rapport with patients is very helpful in their care - it makes life far more difficult if someone refuses to engage. Trust me, refusing to chat doesn’t make you ‘small and convenient’.

YABU. It's ok if you feel that way, but a lot of people find hospital stays unbearably lonely and boring. Not being allowed to talk to your fellow roommates would make that even worse. It's not rude or intrusive to talk to fellow patients, you just personally don't like it.

I am not a first time poster,xand I couldn'"t reply because I was having a medical procedure done.

I find this post sad. We are getting increasingly isolated as individuals in society, there are fewer and fewer opportunities for casual exchange, and OP is put out because some people have the audacity to make conversation in a situation where everyone is sharing a common ( and stressful) experience.

YABU.
You don't want to make conversation with people and that's fair enough. In which case you put your earphones in, avoid making contact and whatever strategies you employ not to talk to people.
But you don't get to impose that rule on other people by saying "I have always thought that it was polite to...."

In all of my many hospital stays, I have never been rude enough to intrude on others, but the two women in my bay are just being insufferable! Is it just me, or is this just downright rude?
Maybe reflect on how they might see it from their perspective. It's possible that they find you insufferable and rude too because you're ignoring them. You're not coming across well at all but I suspect it's probably because you're fed up to the back teeth with being in hospital on a regular basis.

If you really don't want to talk to any of them close your curtains, put your headphones on, you could even say that you're really not doing very well at the moment and you're not up to chatting.

During the day it's fine. But last time I was in the girl next to me spoke on the phone ALL night long to her boyfriend. I was in pain and desperately needed to sleep but she was still harping on at gone 4am. I wished the nurses would say something to her but they didn't.
I'm normally the type to say something myself but she was around 17/18 on her own in hospital so I thought she must be scared so I left it. But it was very annoying though.

the nurses said they liked coming into our little ward because it was warm, welcoming, and we included them in the chatter/jokes we had going on.

think we even had one of the orderlies popping in more than strictly necessary because he came into fix a TV and we managed to find something to rib him about which came up every time he popped into check on it.