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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD and late night snack

116 replies

ChitterChatter1987 · 07/01/2025 22:16

DD is 7 nearly 8
She used to have snacks at bedtime but we stopped it some months back because it was delaying her going to sleep and keeping her up.
We only allow it now if she has barely eaten anything during the day or at tea so is understandably going to be hungry.
The other night she asked again for the fiest time in ages, and we agreed as she had barely had much tea or lunch.
I know if we agree once it's a slippery slope and can become a regular habit again, but didn't want to deny it as she hadn't eaten alot so felt unkind to do so.

Last night same thing happened, but as she had been sick (not bug just due to jumping around after tea) allowed it due to that but warned this would be the last night.

Tonight, after tea, reminded her of this again clearly stating she would not be getting a late night snack, and encouraging her to eat enough.She left alot of her jacket potato, tuna and cheese saying she was full, but did eat some.She also had a crunch corner yoghurt and an apple, and had a plate of snack food at her after school club too beforehand.

Tonight around 9pm she was moaning repeatedly about being hungry, that her stomach hurt etc (unsure if this was genuine or not).DH I think felt I was being abit mean being firm with her not allowing food when she said her stomach hurt (did give her a drink of water) but I feel like she had a warning about no snack tonight whilst there was a chance to eat, she had a reasonable amount of food late afternoon/early evening and at 9pm she needed to be settling down to sleep not eating. We don't want to push her to overeat, but it annoys me that a plate of good food (not something she dislikes) goes in the bin, then she wants a snack later on, as it's wasteful.

AIBU?

OP posts:
downdizzy · 07/01/2025 22:21

Watching with interest

LancashireSquirrel · 07/01/2025 22:26

If she doesn't want the food at meal time, you can either reheat it an hour later, or she can have a banana/similar before bed. If the "snack" is something yummy/chocolatey or similar it's going to make her want it. So I guess it depends what the snack is.

Ferro · 07/01/2025 22:26

Is the snack more fun or tasty than the main meal she's getting?

I wouldn't have wanted my jacket potato at that age if I was hoping for a pot noodle later.

Flatandhappy · 07/01/2025 22:26

That sounds like habit rather than hunger to me so I agree with you.

Fidgety31 · 07/01/2025 22:27

There’s no need for a child that age to be eating at that time of night if they have a normal sleep schedule / no care needs etc

Sounds like food is a big issue in your house - could be a slippery slope if not contained now.

AlohaRose · 07/01/2025 22:28

Had she already been in bed for sometime when she asked for the snack or was she only going to bed at 9 pm?

Wherehavetheyallgone · 07/01/2025 22:29

A couple of dry crackers, or slice of wholemeal bread and butter should be dull enough to quell this habit

TeaAndBrie · 07/01/2025 22:30

She’s playing you because she can.
its so difficult when you think they’re hungry as you don’t want to send her to bed hungry but she’s taking control.
she’s old enough to know to eat her dinner.
what snacks does she get if she eats at bedtime?

DontshootmyRaptors · 07/01/2025 22:33

Maybe you should start with the doctors?

TeaAndBrie · 07/01/2025 22:36

I know I’m conditioned to think like this as a child of the 80’s, but why did she have pudding if she left most of her jacket potato?

MuggleMe · 07/01/2025 22:36

I offer a drink of milk in this scenario.

Original poster
ChitterChatter1987 · 07/01/2025 22:37

LancashireSquirrel · 07/01/2025 22:26

If she doesn't want the food at meal time, you can either reheat it an hour later, or she can have a banana/similar before bed. If the "snack" is something yummy/chocolatey or similar it's going to make her want it. So I guess it depends what the snack is.

Never sugar as we have to limit that due to hyperactivity issues.
We would offer fruit, Crisps (which she often declines even if its several different types) cracker with butter or sometimes crumpet or bagel in the past.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChitterChatter1987 · 07/01/2025 22:38

AlohaRose · 07/01/2025 22:28

Had she already been in bed for sometime when she asked for the snack or was she only going to bed at 9 pm?

No she had been in bed since about 7.30/7.45

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 07/01/2025 22:40

My dds ate a bowl.of cereal before bed from that age til now (20s)
She will ve a hungry tween teen before long

Get in some protein cereal eg Asda

Maybe she needs smaller meals but more often

beetr00 · 07/01/2025 22:41

Don't make food a battleground, she's old enough to know if she's hungry don't you think?

Slice of toast, a hot chocolate.

Are you concerned about weight?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/01/2025 22:42

Mine have supper every evening and I don’t think it’s that unusual. When they have growth spurts they get hungrier and need more food too. I don’t like restricting food, why turn everything into a battle? Give the final snack earlier so not to delay bed time if that’s the issue.

mylittledoggie · 07/01/2025 22:43

Mine have always had fruit and milk before bed. Sometimes a smoothie.

VictoriaMum323 · 07/01/2025 22:43

DP and I differ on this issue. I don’t like banning the kids from taking food from
the Kitchen whilst I can have whatever I want. It doesn’t seem right. However I wouod
definitely try to ensure it’s boring food only affee
a
certain time

VictoriaMum323 · 07/01/2025 22:44

*after

TeaAndBrie · 07/01/2025 22:45

What’s the time gap between having snacks at afterschool club and then dinner?
is it possible she’s not properly hungry at dinner time so picks at the food offered and then ends up feeling more hungry a little later on at bedtime?

catphone · 07/01/2025 22:45

you could have saved what wasn’t eaten and given it to her later. Sometimes it’s preferred to eat a little bit at a time, it’s actually recommended to have smaller meals more often throughout the day maybe it’s what she prefers to do. Its also harder to sleep when hungry because the body releases hormones

Dartmoorcheffy · 07/01/2025 22:45

Always had supper as a kid that age. Tea was around 5.30pm and and by 8.30 it would be toast, or cereal, crumpets, cheese on toast and a hot drink then bed by about 9. I was a skinny kid and slept well too.

Comedycook · 07/01/2025 22:46

Both my dc have always had a snack before bedtime...they eat dinner early, straight after school...so are peckish. DD has half a cup of hot chocolate with hers.

Zae134 · 07/01/2025 22:47

If it's in her nature to want a little something before bed, you could build it into the routine. Offer a smaller portion at dinner time and then have a regular supper of crumpets or toast etc. When I was a kid it was really normal to have cereal or toast before bed, then we just seemed to grow out of it as we got older.

LittleMonks11 · 07/01/2025 22:47

She should be asleep by 9pm really. What's keeping her up? Is it a comfort snack do you think?

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