Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

Male staff member in my 13 month old room. Excellent. My baby (well I guess toddler but still seems like my little baby 😅) loves him! First person he goes to when he arrives.

But it often is gay men. Its a true fact. Same as in care. The reason is that caring and nurturing are female traits. And the majority of male carers in care homes particularly the seniors and assistant managers are of the homosexual persuasion. Thats based on years in the care industry.

So is the male worker allowed to help toilet the boys? Is it only little girls they are creepy around? What about if they're gay?
What about male paediatric nurses? Are they also likely a bit suss? Would you refuse to allow your child to be treated by a male nurse?

If anything, because it's so unusual for men to work in nurseries - not helped in the least by nasty stereotypes that 'male = probably a paedophile" - you'll likely find that the men who do work in nurseries, and have battled through the prejudices and ridicule, are the ones who really love children and caring for and helping them; whereas it's much easier for a woman to have 'fallen in' to the job without questioning her motivation or ability (or anybody else questioning it either).

Same as if you encounter a female car mechanic, builder or plumber - she very likely got into the job because she's passionate about the profession, determined in the face of prejudice and naturally extremely knowledgeable about and skilled at it; whereas her male colleagues may well have been originally unemployed and/or nonchalant and one of their mates down the pub suggested they train and get a job at their place, so they ended up 'falling in' to that job as a result of circumstances rather than driven desire and raw talent.

You’re the one who has come to that conclusion. I didn’t say or imply that at all.

What do you do about women working in nurseries

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-49343172

My neices favourite nursery assistant was male. Since the Vanessa George case regulations have been put in place so that staff aren't alone with children. Particularly at nappy changing and toileting. I read an article the other day about a young lad just left school. He had helped some family friends out over the holidays and decided he enjoyed it that much he wanted to stay on. It's good for Children to have a male role model in their life some don't if single parents.

Having worked in a care home many moons ago, I can assure you the single male carer was the most hard-working, compassionate, colleague who treated all the residents with the utmost dignity. They all loved him. He probably was around 25 at the time. I think the residents who had had strokes and couldn’t speak or couldn’t walk were happy to be treated patiently and with kindness regardless of which sex the carer was. Obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion but such a shame to gender stereotype jobs as it’s limiting for both sexes.

Is it possible that the male staff do the early years practitioner role, but don’t change nappies or take kids to the toilet?

There are no men at my child’s nursery, so I’m not sure of the role and if they adapt it for men because of concerns from parents.

Ah so stereotypes are ok

Because you have ingrained stereotypes like we all do.
But a lot of us can move past those as we grow and learn to think by ourselves and put things in perspective and as we fight for equality and progress.

And yes statistics may show that more men hurt children. But as you also probably know most of these men are a relative or a family friend...so if there is a DH ou DGF in the picture you should probably spend less time on mumsnet and more time keeping an eye on them🙄

So what other reason are you so bothered?

Facts. Why else were and still are the majority of nurses female?

NURSERIES

Honestly I completely understand, my DD went to pre school after a completely female staffed nursery and her pre school key worker is a man. Initially I was a bit unsure but when I boiled it down in my head I think the only thing I wouldn't feel comfortable with is a man being involved in any nappy or toilet situations. My DD was completely potty trained by the time she went so I felt much better and if she hadn't been I most likely would have said I only want women helping her. You could ask the nursery manager about their safeguarding policies when it comes to specifically phones but also lone working etc. I would also be inclined to request women only nappy changes tbh.
If it makes you feel better, I love my DDS key worker he's so lovely and respectful!

Ah I remember that cretin’s case.

I have no issue with saying that if I had been one of those parents faced with what she did, I’d have quite happily ended her.

Thanks for actually writing a thought out response and a view on the matter, rather than outraged mudslinging like many other responders.

nurseries

It just seems odd as it is unfamiliar to you. But these things need to become more accepted in society to make it more equal

YANBU. Who you choose to look after your child is your business OP. My older DCs have fabulous male teachers but when they were babies I would have avoided a nursery with male staff because I didn't want unrelated males carrying out intimate care.

You may not have directly said it, but you did imply it, I think. You said that you 'felt uneasy', not about the particular men or a vibe they gave off (which would be valid, just as it would be valid if you felt off about a woman) but the mere fact that they were male. That is to me implying that there is something inherently nefarious about a male childcare worker, and that is what a lot of people are objecting to.

You’re being VERY unreasonable.

I have worked in childcare for nearly 10 years and have encountered many male staff. I would say that the top 5 staff I have ever worked with (in terms of providing the best education and care) have been majority men.

Men in early years are so important because it is a female dominated field. It is great to have male role models for the children who may not have that at home.

On the other hand, as a parent, my daughters have two male nursery teachers. They both happen to be their favourite staff! They work just like all the other (female) staff do and I think they do a fab job which obviously shows just by how much my children adore them!

Edit: spelling

What the fuck??? Homosexual persuasion? Female traits?

I’m perfectly aware of my options for alternative nursery’s thanks very much; but I want to hear other people’s thoughts on the matter in general.

My ds had a male nursery teacher and 2 male primary school teachers. As a lone parent I was very pleased. They were all brilliant role models.