Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

Yes do those words hurt you? Caring and nurturing are more female traits than male.

For the posters who say they wouldn't let their child go to a nursery with male staff, what happens if they are at nursery and then a male member of staff is employed, will you move your child from the nursery?

I don't see it any different to a male primary teacher or nurse? My midwife during my pregnancy was male. He was the only male midwife in Scotland at the time and had been in the job 25 years then had a male deliver my daughter. Never questioned a man in these roles. My aunty works in a nursery and her boss is male. She raves about him all the time x

When I go to my male GP I’m offered a chaperone for any intimate examinations. I say no thanks but I’m sure plenty of women say yes please. Are they making gross and insulting assumptions that their GP is a massive sexual abuser? Of course not, they are exercising their right to feel and be safe.
Edited to say you have concerns without being an unhinged man hater.

Because it's largely seen as grunt work and therefore men are too important for it. That's why the pay is shit. The men you're surrounded by who aren't caring have been raised to think they don't have to be because they own a mighty penis. The ones I surround myself with know better, including my husband and the three kids he pulls his equal weight with.

Has hearing the thoughts helped you at all?

Ar you a single parent? If not, do you refuse to allow your DP alone with his own kids? I mean, you never know these days ....

Do you know there's more reports about female nursery workers abusing children than male workers? Think you're being extremely sexist and unreasonable - sorry 🤷🏼‍♀️

would you have felt the same about a male child being looked after by a female member of staff?

I bet there aren’t many dads who would kick up a fuss about this…

Both these posts sicken me.
Your thinking gives me "the ick" and I loathe that phrase but it suits you both.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-49343172.amp

I've requested that my children are only changed by female staff at their nursery and the nurseries have never suggested that there was any problem with this. One of them had 3 male workers who I rated highly and were great with kids but as someone who was abused by my childminder's (vetted) husband, I'm not okay with them changing my young kids. I also don't let them stay over at my MIL's house because she has her boyfriend around often, again, nice guy but I only know him at a surface level so I'm not prepared to take the risk for my children to experience what I did. The only men who I would allow to watch my daughter alone are her dad, my dad and my brother.

The same applies to the boys. Definitley not only girls no. Their sexuality doesn’t come into it no. Paediatric nurses are governed far more closely and probably do not nurse children alone. It’s not about them being ‘suss’ either.

When my male friend had to have an intimate examination by a female GP, he was offered a chaperone.

So I don't think your arguement works here.

Already sick to my stomach looking at that fat, disgusting beast’s mugshot.

The thing is though I expect that 99.9% of child molesters are male.

In other areas of life that involve personal care adults generally have a choice of the sex of the person who cares for them or they have the option of a chaperone.

We can't tackle gender inequality and out of date gender norms if people still believe views like this.

Staff go through enhanced dbs checks, instead of wanting men to not work in nurseries because of potential risk how about fighting to tackle violence against women and girls which is the root cause men aren't innately drawn to become abusers....

There are a lot of kids of this age who spend all their time surrounded by females i think its great for nurseries to have male nursery practitioners

YABVU and discriminatory
I hope you don't bring your DC up to think this is reasonable

I think you're mixing traits up with societal expectations.

Exactly this. The male nursery nurses I have worked with are brilliant and favourites among the children
But if you are that worried you can send your LO to a different nursery. Most don't have men working there.

If a parent at my nursery said they didn’t want a male staff member changing nappies or help with going to the toilet they’d be told that all staff do everything to keep it fair and that if they didn’t agree they’d be more than welcome to remove their child.

The role is altered for males.

@Itsoneofthose totally agree. There’s a reason you don’t feel right about it. Your gut is correct. My children are older now but I’d not have felt comfortable with male nursery staff.

I secretly felt the same at the beginning but I pushed through it because I knew I was wrong (just as you are). Nowadays very happy with both male staff members at my child’s current nursery. Just remember they’re all qualified professionals who are extremely well vetted surrounded by lots of other qualified and extremely well vetted colleagues.

I do think it’s pretty natural to feel this way though, even if totally unfair to the majority that are decent men. We’re programmed to be very protective of our kids, especially when they’re so tiny, and for a lot of parents nursery is the first time they can’t be present to protect their child in person. This feeling of helplessness coupled with sensationalised news headlines (and potentially your own negative childhood experiences) makes it hard sometimes not to be super weary of men in general.