Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

There’s two at my DS nursery and the kids go mad for them. I wish there more to model better gender roles.

I'm a bit worried that all the men in your family are paedophiles. That's basically what you are implying.

Give over. I guess your dh didn't change nappies then, just your job?

Was thinking that myself.

Lapsitting... me too!

OP i just viewed a nursery with male staff for my daughter
And ive decided against it
Not only for the reason that they informed me that the men will be helping my daughter go to the toilet and i could not request only a female help her but others that i wont mention
I dont mind having a male take care of her at all however she still needs help going to the toilet and already makes me turn around when shes using the toilet (she needs me to help her on and off the toilet, wipe and pull up her clothes correctly) and having any stranger help my child in the bathroom feels weird man or woman but i knew my daughter would not feel comfortable and to be honest neither do i

I felt torn and guilty for thinking and feeling like this but after speaking to some friends and other parents ive decided that at the end of the day its my job to ensure my child is protected and safe and comfortable
As much as i can in this day and age

Do what you and your child will be comfortable with at the end of the day

I would be lying if I said I didn’t have a similar reaction at first - which is against everything I thought I believed but I think we hear so many awful stories of abuse and these things get filed away into your subconscious. But the male nursery workers at my DDs nursery are just some of the kindest most caring people and I now feel ashamed of that flicker of doubt I had.
It’s also great for kids to have positive male role models.

It’s not unreasonable to have some reservations in life. Don’t pretend to be outraged simply to be part of the PC brigade. It’s a perfectly reasonable question and many other women may feel the same but will be shouted down by the likes of you who can’t stand an alternative opinion to your own.

So many children have no father figure in their homes or lazy, feckless pointless males who are around until something new comes along . When I taught Reception I had a male TA. The children were from very deprived homes. Lots of the dads were in and out of prison. Nigel was a fabulous counter balance to that.

@Itsoneofthose I am completely with you on this. However people get very riled up about it. I still don’t understand how it’s ok for a grown woman to ask for a female nurse but I can’t ask for a female carer to wipe my daughter. It’s beyond me but like I say people get really riled up about this topic. I suggest that you find another nursery and ask them to let you know if and when they hire men. Best of luck! I know I will get flamed but prefer to give my view on this
topic.

This site is utterly whack at times. There was a recent thread where the poster had a daughter and DHs brother (i.e. the childs uncle) offered to look after his niece for a bit but OP was told by practically everyone that most molesters are men ergo even though the risk was small there was still a risk he may be a kiddy fondler so told her now way no how should he allow it. Even though the DHs bro was a known quantity and DH had known him all his life!

But stick your kid in a nursery with Camp Dan and his cheeky grin and a worthless DBS and he can play with your kids all day every day.

Maybe they now work in nurseries because times have changed and men feel that they can do the job without fear of ridicule or prejudice.
How would you react if you were told a daughter was the only female working at NASA as an engineer and it's really strange and maybe she is just doing it to meet a husband???
One of the worst jobs I could think of is working in a nursery and I am a woman, with children who works with children. Does that make me strange? Should all women want to work with small children, but not men???
I have known cases of men in education grooming children - one was a primary teacher, 2 were high school. These are schools I have worked at or my children attend. Should I be suspicious of men who want to be teachers?

extremely defensive and angry response to a very gently asked question. You’re the one being deranged.

Personally apart from the fact my daughter has male teachers i don't leave her with any man except her dad

I worry more about narrow-minded people having children and teaching them their values. Or lack thereof.

Food for thought????! I don’t know what your post is, but it’s not food for thought.

A bit strong tbf. You have decided what I’m implying. I opened it up as a question. Thank you to those who’ve made valuable contributions, unlike the one above

Well be sure to let any male care home staff know that you would rather your elderly relatives/ friends sit with a unwiped bottom / soiled knickers or bedding until a female was available to attend to them. Even if that means all night.

Or how about a female member of staff having to wipe your granddads bottom ? Or is that ok?

The PC brigade 🙄

@Katemax82 their dad is statistically the one most likely to SA her compared to nursery/school staff

Just want to put out there as well that being uncomfortable with having a male nursery worker doesn't mean we think they are going to molest our children

Having a positive male figure is fine, man can also be loving and caring and fun for children to be around thats all fine
For me personally i just dont feel comfortable having a male i dont actually know being close up and personal with my child when she is on the toilet and/or half dressed not to mention him wiping her
Sorry to be crude

Was just about to say this! There are freaks around here this evening.

That last paragraph is horrible.

There were 2 men at my DS's nursery, they were his favourite staff members. I had no qualms at all and I'm on the overprotective side.