Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

You said:
"It's the unconvicted that are the danger in children's settings, not the convicted."

Well of course. A convicted child abuser isn't going to make it past the DBS stage. An unconvicted child abuser will be employed without any obvious signs.

Your response: 'ban unconvicted people from working with children', is just nonsense.

The biggest issue in childcare is probably getting anybody to do it at the moment. It's not exactly a thriving sector. Harder and harder to make money. Costs going up, income 'capped' due to funding for """free""" hours. Nurseries shutting all over the place.

I was suggesting that was your response. Everybody reading this thread knew that.

I did thanks.

you must think the world is such a scary place if you believe most many rather than the minority are baddies!

what a loony

I hate to break it to you, but if he's a normal 15yo lad he's gagging to be touched inappropriately every waking moment.

It wasn't supporting that claim because, as I said, evidence is hard. But there are places linked here which are reputable and support the claim

That was to evidence that boys were more of a risk than girls yet most people mention their daughters

No stats then.

Gotcha.

What a very creepy thing to say on a thread about the potential sexual abuse of children.

It's a thread about men working in nurseries. You brought sex into it. I can't imagine many people make that association, I certainly don't.

Still a weird thing to say about my child.

Would you be content for that child of yours to be viewed with suspicion if he chose to work in a nursery or a caring profession?

You brought him up in the context of being potantially abused. That's weird and unusual.

I made a joke about the well known mores of teenage lads. That's commonplace. (and generated a pleasing number of reactions.)

He'd be an adult by then.
I believe all males in children's settings should have a specific risk assessment made on them for being male, and their interactions, roles and responsibilities with children determined/restricted/controlled as necessary.

Do you have any other children younger children, given your son is male, I just wondered how you are going to protect them from your son, given all men are predators.

In fact if all men are predators, I'm surprised you were alone long enough with a man to create a son because from the way you go on, none are to be trusted.

You live in a dark, dark world, that level of fear must be very debilitating. So if you don't mind, I'll stick to my opinion and you stick to yours because I seek equality (for both sex's) and I can't comprehend worrying about the men in my family life to the extent you must do.

It is not weird to safeguard your child against all forms of abuse.

It is weird to make jokes about children wanting to be inappropriately touched.

If you're going to do that for males why not do it for females as well? They'd have the capability in place already, seems crazy to exclude anyone.

Males commit more sexual abuse crimes against children than women do, and therefore this should be taken onto consideration when creating a risk assessment in a children's setting.

It's not hard to understand.

No I don't live in a dark world.

I live in a realistic world.

If more people were realistic - less children would be put in unsafe situations.

I would not let my child with a male nursery worker. It's about statistics: if 99% of child abusers are male it makes perfect sense to avoid them for my child in a nursery setting where children are too small to be taught about private parts. My children didn't go to nursery because I chose to be a sahm so I really didn't have that problem but I understand @Itsoneofthose !

Well, we'll have to disagree, because I think the exact opposite. There is not one trace of sexuality in my children. When they get to 15 I'm fully expecting a pair of Oliver Reeds.

No-one said 'all men are predators'.

You have made that up.

Unsafe situations.... Like schools and Nurseries. 🤦‍♀️

To me, a pre-school with male staff that I don't know, that have access to very young children whilst they are changing, naked or toileting, without their parent being present, is an unsafe situation.

If you're happy with it, that is totally fine.

I make my decisions, you make yours.

We will never agree on this one.

@Itsoneofthose well I suggest not putting a child in any nursery then, after all any nursery could have a male employee. Just because they don't today doesn't mean they won't tomorrow and quiet frankly clearly you shouldn't use a nursery if your that freaked out. I hope you realise however years back when a nursery nurse was found to be sensually abusing young children in their care, it was a woman not a man. Plus given this day and age you might want to check every female employee is biologically that. As for female mechanics I'd trust them more than most male ones. They work twice as hard in a male dominated industry.