Nobody fed the baby.

[shaylla]

I need a bit of perspective from others point of view here please.

A 13 month old - given breakfast at 7.30, then instead of his normal lunch is only given half an eggs worth of scrambled egg at lunch time. No water or milk all day then till 5 when another adult returns home and finds out (and feeds baby immediately). The adult/s in charge of the baby all day 'didn't realise' ... ??

This is neglect yes?

OP there wouldn't be a touch of competitive grandparenting at play, would there?

Bet he wouldn't be so "inexperienced" that he wouldnt get a drink for himself if he was thirsty, so I dont think that's an excuse at all. It's common sense

It seems dad was not actually in charge of baby for several hours as he was working. Grandparents, who OP initially claimed didn't feed baby, were. They did in fact feed baby, two things. So I'd be surprised if a drink was not offered at some point. Perhaps just not in the singular mum approved sippy cup.

OP has already said the DH looks after the baby on Mondays while OP’s DD goes into work. It’s been ongoing for a couple of months,

I agree that original comment was very unfair and misleading by the OP who clearly has some other issues with her son in law.

I’d say it’s quite clear why he’s got his parents there! To care for the baby as he’s actually working during these hours, it just happens to be working from home!

I'm going to keep a firm eye on this. See what occurs next week. So is DD ...
He was WFH but mon is his lightest work load day - just a few emails - which is why DD and her employer settled on this day to be the one for her to go in. She's done a couple of months being back in on a mon. I'm saying this is the first time the baby has gone without a drink on a mon - but who really knows? It's very upsetting to think about.

No-one who is working from home is doing a few e-mails. They should be using childcare - and I'm wondering if that what was happening - other DGP providing childcare while Dad worked perhaps just in DD/SIL home rather than in their own home.

Honestly this is something you DD need to handle as a grown ass woman and parent - you can offer another day of care with you but beyond that it's on her and her to monitor and it seems she was relatively happy for months prior to this with arrangements.

You are right to do the extra day.

the 3 of them should be mortified and ashamed of themselves.

your poor DD… if nothing else she should make sure she’s on effective contraception

So the plot thickens yet again and now I kindof sympathise with dad. You really cannot wfh and look after a baby this age. They need constant supervision and constant interaction. My DH is a great dad but he struggles to wfh with our 6YO never mind a baby. This thread has been an absolute shitshow OP and if I was baby's mum or dad I'd be fuming at you if I ever found it for how you've presented it all tbh

This!!

OP comes across as really dishonest, not to mention over-involved and judgemental, and competitive against the other grandparents.

My advice to her daughter would be to not share this level of detail with her mother. Daughter can’t have a little vent without her mum becoming over-invested and splashing it online.

The father has recruited his parents to pop in and share the care because ... to be sure, i don't even know - he finds it a lot on his own or something (trying not to eyeroll)

Because he’s actually working so shouldn’t be looking after a baby at all? They need proper childcare, this isn’t sustainable.

He's not doing the childcare. He's working while the grandparents provide the childcare and spend quality time with their grandchild.

It's a perfectly normal arrangement.

I think that's the best solution OP you have the baby for that day. I suppose one adult could have thought one of the others had given the child a drink but, they should have checked. I've visited people who offer adults a cup of tea or whatever and don't offer anything for any small children, they just don't think, problem was solved by either not visiting again or take Childs drink with me. But the father even with help was the responsible one, or should have been. The mom should not laugh it off but tell him to get his sct together, babies dehydrated and it can cause problems. Or make him go all day without a drink!

If this was my baby, i would be angry, NOT bemused! I had 7 kids- All looked after properly & fed each day, and even if i had to go out one of the elder siblings old enough would know to feed/water a baby!- i can only assume they were either older 'kids' who were either not used to babysitting at all, (like 17,18,19 year olds?) or whom are always doing the sitting but were giving themselves a day off as their friends had dropped in/out throughout the day- so they were pre- occupied.(Not my first rodeo with teenagers!) BUT, and the thing here is- they would have been better to STICK to the list left- feed the baby what it does like- give a drink of milk after lunch- then more chance of time to themselves as baby slept a few hours!- so obviously were young adults who are not used to looking after a baby, like a step- brother/sister, or a cousin, who dont have to regularly see baby or deal with its needs regularly.And/Or resented being asked to..or totally inept dad with his mates round all day, or totally inept grandparents who hardly ever see or look after baby because, well, they are inept! But bemused is not a reaction i would have to this.Especially if i was its mum, i'd be bloody angry & tore them off a strip.And NEVER ask them to look after child ever again.Even in emergency.

*what? So this WAS inept dad & grandparents?(stopped reading after page4&skipped to comments) HOW CAN GRANDPARENTS NOT KNOW THAT A BABY NEEDS FOOD/MILK/WATER??? They've had at least one child of their own to be a grandparent!! And as for father, well if he was that busy working then surely he could have at least checked occasionally that everything was ok? And i assume he was working from home? How many mums have done same and STILL managed seeing to a baby as well- again feeding & giving milk will help to ensure a good bit of clear work time in between.Bemused? No i would still have given them all a good dressing down.And if i left baby with dad again id make sure he did just that- no working at same time.(unless baby asleep)And definitely not leave with the stupid inept grandparents.

And what 'quality time' is there that doesnt involve actually feeding baby/giving bottles etc?Its not a bloody doll.

It's since been drip fed that the baby was fed twice and that the source of the 'not given a drink' was the father who was working and has no idea if the baby was given a drink or not.

Occam's Razor says the Grandparents gave it plenty to eat and drink.

It's a 13 month old - not really a baby! Probably running around causing all sorts of havoc.

I wonder who these people are. I'll guess that they don't want you to go out and leave them to look after the baby. Might they be bepenised?