Nobody fed the baby.

[shaylla]

I need a bit of perspective from others point of view here please.

A 13 month old - given breakfast at 7.30, then instead of his normal lunch is only given half an eggs worth of scrambled egg at lunch time. No water or milk all day then till 5 when another adult returns home and finds out (and feeds baby immediately). The adult/s in charge of the baby all day 'didn't realise' ... ??

This is neglect yes?

Blatant neglect. Abusive. I wouldn’t hesitate to report to SS and other appropriate authorities. Do you right thing to protect this child.

Thirteen-month-olds do not always eat that much. So breakfast (how big/substantial was breakfast?), then half an egg at lunch, then dinner at 5pm in and of itself is not that crazy a schedule. Essentially, they’ve just had a small lunch.

HOWEVER (and it’s a big however), you would expect the baby to drink several bottles or formula, breastmilk or cows milk in that time. Going that length of time without drinks feels neglectful.

No excuse but is this a regular thing or a one off? I reported my neighbour many moons ago. Her toddler had half a tin of spaghetti hoops for lunch. The other half for tea. 7 days a week. No milk as her new baby had bottles to make.. I had met her twice when she asked me to have her very newborn ds for the whole day. Took me not long indeed to get the measure of her.. I reported her to ss. I often think about those dc... What is your conscience telling you op?

Fuck asking MN. You know what to do.

I’m pretty sure you need to report this if they’re parents/regular carers for the baby.

Drip drip drip

You can change it, just click the “correct” one you wanted instead.

Surely the baby would have screamed and screamed to express their hunger. 😢 Did that just get ignored?

And nappies, were they changed? 🥺

Please report this OP. Safeguarding children is everyone's responsibility.

I'll just echo what everyone else is saying, it's very neglectful.
But I just don't understand how it could happen? Just, how could they not notice, were they not supervising/caring for the baby? Did they forget to feed themselves? Poor baby.

Yes it's neglect. My own (now ex) husband did this when I had to visit and sick relative. Came home to a screaming baby who he'd not fed at all. Absolute fucking twat. Said "he forgot". Weaponised incompetence. So what are you going to do about this OP?

I don't know exactly how it happened myself to be honest.

I don't want to go into all the ins and outs. I know nappies were changed. I know the baby was 'grumpy' by the end of the day and was fed well. It was hopefully a one off. There was coming and going in the house. The adults were all blood relatives to the baby.

This thread is v helpful to me thank you all

I'm surprised at the strength of the responses.

The baby had breakfast and lunch and at 13 months, half an egg is probably about right for lunch. The NHS recommends they also have 2 snacks a day (usually morning tea and afternoon tea) but lots of kids aren't bothered about a snack.

She should have been offered water and milk but again, lots of babies don't drink much unless you really harass them.

This sounds about average for what my DD would have eaten at the same age, maybe a few strawberries or some veggie straws in between, and breastmilk if she was with me.

Absolutely baby could get seriously ill! My little one is 3 her sister is 18 years older when she was born if I went to shop for an hour she'd be fed changed played cuddled etc. Therefore if an 18 year old can this is completely unacceptable. If this is a childminder or provider they need reporting. If this is your friend/ their partner they need reporting and a care plan for complete training and supervision if they fail then they need the bin. What was the excuse? Not that there would ever be a good one to neglect a baby. Hope little ones ok now. Sounds as though your asking about a friend or relative please do the right thing and contact social services theres no other correct alternative here this is terrible and probably not the only neglect.

Did the adults in question know they were responsible for the baby? Or was it a case of they all thought someone else was? (Which might be partly down to poor communication from the usual caregiver) if the adult knew they were responsible for a baby all day then its absolutely neglect, food, drink and changing nappies as required is the very bare minimum anyone should know a baby requires.

Half an egg and no liquids all day? For ten hours? The people who did this shouldn't be in charge of a child again.

Snacks are in addition to meals - ½ an egg (approx 40 calories) might be a snack but is not lunch

Is it a one off and the person "looking after" the baby will never be trusted with them again, or is this a regular thing and requires serious intervention?

I would imagine the baby was quite grizzly and miserable, so whoever was "caring" for them was missing any cues that the baby needed something. I think the average 12yo could have done a better job, so I'd guess who ever was responsible has serious issues themself.

Even if the baby was ill and not wanting to eat, they should have been given a drink.

"The adult/s in charge of the baby all day 'didn't realise' ... ??"

Did the adults in charge eat during the day?
Do the adults in charge have any eating disorders?

Was the baby unwell? Surely they would start screaming for milk/ water and food. Not that it makes it any better, they should still be offered something regularly. I just don’t understand how they could forget.

Was this a case of everyone thinking that someone else had fed the baby? The scrambled egg thing is odd - why half a scrambled egg? Was it served by itself or with toast? And was the toast buttered? That would be a very different number of calories to just half a scrambled egg.
It's horrible to thing of this poor child going hungry and so worrying as the lack of fuss it made suggests that this might be typical.

I don't know but I wouldn't define after lunch (12:30? 1/?) until 5pm as 'all day'. I probably wouldn't think to feed a baby in that time unless they cried because I wouldn't be thinking meal time and wouldn't eat myself so I guess the day would just pass until it became dinner time (I don't know when that is for a baby - 5:30? 6?) and then I'd naturally think about food. But then I know nothing about caring for babies and toddlers so freely admit I'm wrong judging by others' responses. But I would have done the same thing with no ill will towards the baby.

No liquids and 40 calories all day.

At the same age, some days, my daughter would only eat 1/2 an egg for lunch. Some days, she'd happily eat 2 eggs, a slice of toast, a sausage and then a punnet of blueberries. It really depends on their mood that day in my experience. I am guessing whoever looked after her did not scramble half an egg, and half an egg is the amount the baby chose to eat.

If the baby was crying with hunger, pale, starting to seem dehydrated, low on energy or, over the long term, is very underweight, then there definitely might be an issue.

If it just happened to be a day when they weren't that interested in food (which might be the case with lots of relatives coming and going) I don't think it's a very big deal.

Ok, it depends. If mum is in the hospital and everyone is last minute chipping in, taking shifts and getting confused about who has done what, then it's understandable how a genuine mistake could happen. If it's clear what had happened and it was a normal day of looking after baby, then it's neglect.

I think there’s a few factors that could change the situation either way.

How big was the breakfast? If it was a big porridge, or 2 weetabix and a banana, for example, that’s different than if it was half a slice of toast.

Was only half an egg offered for lunch? Or was other food offered, which baby chose not to eat? Who bothers scrambling only half an egg? How was that portion decided on, and how do you know it definitely was only half an eggs worth?

Finally, when you say “no drink offered”, was there no drink with lunch, even?

If there was literally no drink offered at all from 7.30am-5pm, then this is clearly abusive.

If baby had a drink at the table with lunch, but then wasn’t offered a mid-afternoon milk like
you normally would (for example), this is more “stupid adults not knowing the routine”, rather than being outright abusive.