To think it’s uncommon to both work full time with small kids?

[workingFTM]

I’m on maternity leave and thinking about my options for how many hours I’ll do when I return. Among those I know pretty much everyone is back part time after having a baby. Would you say it’s the same among those you know? In all families with young kids that I know, at least one parent has some kind of flexible working arrangement and if they don’t then family usually do all or some of the childcare. It’s a balance as I want max time off with my baby first and foremost but equally want to make sure I keep my foot in the door career wise for all sorts of reasons.

XH & I both went back full time but I compressed my hours over 4/4.5days/ wks and XH was self employed so worked Long days incl Sat and didn't work Mon & Wed. We both worked long hours/long days but meant we only had to pay 2 days childcare.

I had a wide social circle when my kids were young; nobody was in a family unit where both parent worked full time. Saying that, we are not in the South.

Also a London lawyer and also my experience that most people continue to work full-time or leave. Some people drop a day, but it can be tricky to stick to that if your job involves litigation and something urgent comes in. The court will not list around work patterns, clients will inevitably forget to factor it in, and your colleagues’ ability (/willing) to cover work for you is not infinite. You also don’t want to stop getting that work in the first place!

The most notable exception to that in my field is the GLD, which is more in line with the wider civil service re: flexible working patterns, although people also clearly work well past their hours.

Of those I know with young kids:

Couple 1- both full time compressed
Couple 2- both full time 5 days
Couple 3- both full time 5 days
Couple 4- both slightly part time (I.e. nearly full time)
Couple 5- one full time, one 4 days a week
Couple 6 - one full time one SAHP
Couple 7 - both full time
Couple 8 - one full time, one full time compressed
Couple 9 - one full time, one slightly part time/ compressed

So my experience is most work full time or nearly full time.

I suspect more are like me having to go very part time with a universal credit top up because of the lack of family. It works well for us. Live in the North in a deprived area though.

Oh, yes agreed. I was talking to the OP who seems to want to do PT.

We chose a mortgage years ago based on only one income so there was no pressure for me to return to work if I didn't want to.

It's possible to look at various different options to make it work the way you want it to work.

Not all parents need to work full time with small children.

DD is 25 so this is awhile ago but we were in the minority of two parents working FT. Although DD went to a school where there many single parent households, most of the mums were PT / SAHM. Us working FT was only managable because DH worked nights / weekends so he could do most of the drop offs / pick ups, ferry DD to hobbies etc.

How many of the children stay in after school club rather than having parents at the school gate?

I work about 2 1/2 days a week, my partner works a 9-day fortnight. I expected there to be more part-time mums around but actually in our area most women have gone back full-time after Mat leave and have nannies. Thankfully I found some other freelancer/part-timers but it was a lot harder than I expected.

I earn about the same as my partner and could earn twice that if I worked FT, but choose not to.

Why does being in the south make a difference?
I'm in the north and we both work full time as do many of my friends and social circle.

Legal sector here.

most are full time. Some do 4 days

amongst my friends in other sectors I’d say it’s 50/50 FT or 4 days. I don’t know anyone who does less

We used breakfast and after school clubs as did most of the parents of DT’s classmates.

In my circle all the mums I know from friends, family, NCT (except 2) went back part time ranging from 2.5-4days per week. All in professional jobs- teaching, law, medicine. I never went back ft after my dc were born 13 years ago. My wages have increased though so I've always felt better off as the years have gone by.

@JustMarriedBecca has it spot on . 4 days but really working 5

It really depends on your income level/your circles income level.

High earners will often return to work full time and outsource childcare/cleaning etc. or they can manage on one wage.

Low earners often need two wages so will juggle everything . But sometimes it's not affordable for both parents to work full time.

Middle earners tend to lean towards 1 ft 1 pt as it's often the most economical way to manage.

Most of my friends worked part time when kids are under 5.

I wouldn't say it's uncommon

It doesn't matter what any other family does, you do what's best for your family. Whether you work FT for financial or career development reasons, or choose to go PT to spend more time with your children or save money on childcare, it's entirely up to you.

I worked FT, but had to as I'm a single mum. If I had a choice I would have worked PT, but it wasn't an option. Looking back, the number of mums working PT, or not at all, was the majority but it was all a mix and everyone just got on with it, doing what suited them.

I work full time most of my friends with kids work part time. My DH does 4 days a week.
DHs friend circle most women end up becoming SAHM.

Not normal here either. Everyone in my nct group except me went back full time, as did all my friends from outside church.

My church friends are much more likely to be sahms.

I know two Dads who do most of the childcare but they had extremely flexible jobs and were self employed before having children.

My maternity leave friends mostly went back 3.5-4 days a week. Except a teacher who did full time term time only.
we were all older mums over 35 with professional jobs that allowed flexible working. Most of us went back ft as the children reached school age.

It would be more interesting to see the poll results split by area because I suspect it will differ.

I worked PT from when oldest was born (3 then 4 days) but now oldest is in year 3 and youngest settled in reception I’ll be upping to FT. With flexible working though so I can do 50% of school runs (with other 50% being mix of ASC/ breakfast club and grandparents). I’ll be using unpaid parental leave to have more time off in the holidays with the kids.

flexible working is key, my husband works FT and has never missed a school event.

for Under 5s statistically the most common family arrangement is one parent FT and one PT. I know plenty of families with both parents FT, they all seem to make it work.

Some of my circle work part-time but some work full-time. I had to work full-time, because we needed to pay our bills.